In any kind of unconventional relationship, friends and family are bound to have opinions.
But is it really anybody’s business besides the people in the relationship? When do these opinions cross a line?
That’s the drama a Redditor, who goes by the name Coolkat734, found herself in with her opinionated sister-in-law. So she took her situation to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for some perspective.
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“AITA for using marital terms even though we aren’t married?”
“I (F[emale] 45) has been with my partner for 22 years, and we’ve lived together for 19 years. We also have three kids. However we’ve never married.”
“There are a few reasons, but the main one is that we simply do not want to. However I still love to refer to him as my husband and he refers to me as his wife (we mostly use partner though).”
“All of my friends as well as my family are aware of this. A lot of them find it a bit weird that we would use marital terms even though we aren’t married, but they accept it.”
Just under a year ago, my younger brother got married. About a week ago, him and his wife had dinner at my house. It was the first time we were able to have dinner with them in about a year, as we live in separate countries, and due to the ongoing events, they were only able to recently get flights.”
“My sister in-law came up to me following the meal and told me that it was extremely disrespectful for me to use marital terms when I’m not married.”
“She claimed that I wanted to take the best parts of marriage without earning them, and that if I wanted to be referred to as a wife or refer to my man as my husband, then pehaps I should get married.”
“I laughed, and I pointed out that I’ve been with my partner for more 22 years, and that my youngest child was older than her entire relationship. The argument immediately escalated, and she ended up storming out with her husband.”
“My partner doesn’t think it’s a big deal if we stop doing it, but I love being referred to his wife. I just don’t want to get married.”
“AITA for using marital terms even though I’m not married?”
“I do admit that my reaction probably wasn’t very nice, however I was really offended by what she said. I thought it was obnoxious and entitled, especially since we don’t know each all that well.”
OP’s fellow Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation using the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And for them, this was a no-brainer.