For all the joy and excitement that pregnancy brings, it comes with many challenges.
As pregnant women are carrying a growing baby for nine months, their bodies will undergo significant change, often accompanied by nausea, exhaustion, and morning sickness.
In addition, it’s very easy for pregnant women to think that anything that feels even slightly out of the ordinary could be something serious.
Redditor Joelaken and his girlfriend were expecting their first child.
Unfortunately, the mom-to-be was very worried about their baby, asking the original poster (OP) to make frequent visits to the hospital with her to ensure everything was all right.
This began to grow tiresome for the OP, who finally felt he had to put his foot down, much to the shock of his girlfriend.
Wondering if he was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors.
“AITA for telling my girlfriend that I’m not going to drop everything to take her to the hospital anytime she feels any discomfort?”
The OP explained how his girlfriend’s concerns over her pregnancy began to wear thin on his nerves.
“I (27 M[ale]) and my girlfriend (21 F[emale]) are expecting our first baby at the beginning of May.”
“This pregnancy has been nothing short of chaotic.”
“My girlfriend has never experienced pregnancy, and she’s terrified to give birth, so any feeling of discomfort, she freaks out.”
“I understand that pregnancy is hard and scary, and my girlfriend doesn’t have her family around to help her, so she’s probably experiencing a lot of anxiety.”
“I’m not trying to downplay that.”
“I’m frustrated because I feel like she’s taking advantage of the fact that she can get me to do things for her just because she’s pregnant.”
“We got into a fight a few days ago.”
“She insisted that she didn’t feel good, and she thought something was wrong with the baby.”
“She wanted to go to the hospital to make sure everything was okay.”
“We’ve been to the hospital for this kind of ’emergency’ almost four times since the beginning of her pregnancy.”
“I had to go to work because we are severely understaffed, so I told her that if she still didn’t feel good tonight, we could go make sure everything was okay.”
“She got upset with me, and she told me that I never take her pain seriously.”
“I told her that I can’t drop everything any time she feels any discomfort.”
“Pregnancy is uncomfortable.”
“We argued some more then I left for work.”
“When I got home, I asked if she was feeling better, but she wouldn’t tell me.”
“She has stopped talking to me about her pregnancy now, and I feel like she is being manipulative.”
“She’s withholding information about my child because I didn’t drop everything to take her to the hospital again. I tried explaining to her my side of things, and I apologized, but she’s still mad at me.”
“My girlfriend is treating me like I’m the a**hole, but I feel like she isn’t seeing how frustrated and tired I am from dropping everything for her.”
The OP later shared a bit more about his girlfriend’s pregnancy status in the comments section.
“She has an OB, and she goes often because she has a high-risk pregnancy.”
“However, they have told her to go to the hospital if she thinks something is wrong.”
“I think that she’s paranoid and needs to find a way to manage her anxiety instead of going to the hospital.”
AITA?
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The OP found little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who unanimously agreed he was the a**hole for the way he treated his girlfriend.
Everyone agreed the OP needed to treat his girlfriend with far more sympathy and sensitivity, particularly in light of her young age, not to mention the fact that she had a high-risk pregnancy, which everyone was appalled he neglected to mention in his initial post.
“YTA.”
“MASSIVELY SO.”
“Conveniently, you omitted the fact that it’s a HIGH-RISK pregnancy, they TOLD her to go to the ER if she feels something is wrong, and TWICE there were issues, like contractions and the baby NOT MOVING.”
“YOU are not a doctor.”
“YOU are not pregnant.”
“Your opinion on what is ‘reasonable’ anxiety is completely irrelevant.”
“The opinions of medical experts and the person carrying the child matter.”
“Your job is to SUPPORT her – start doing that and stop dismissing her.”
“Why did you get this poor girl pregnant if you’re not ready, willing, and able to step up as a partner and parent?!”- Sel-Reddit
“Her pregnancy.”
“Her pregnancy.”
“My baby.”
“Dude.”
“She’s not a f*cking incubator.”
“She’s your partner.”
“Stop with that.”
“YTA.”- iamevilcupcake
“’Almost four times’.”
“You’ve written this post as if she constantly has you dropping everything to rush to the hospital, but it’s been ‘almost’ four (read: three) times in eight months.”
“If she’s due at the beginning of May, she could give birth any day now.”
“If you don’t care about your girlfriend’s discomfort, try at least pretending to care about your first child.”
“And way to bury in the comments that it’s a high-risk pregnancy, that there HAVE been issues 2/3 of the time you’ve gone to the hospital, and that they’ve specifically told her to come in if anything is wrong.”
“Yikes with a capital YIKES, OP.”
“YTA.”- embopbopbopdoowop
“’I’m nearing 30, and I knocked up someone barely old enough to drink’.”
“‘My gf has no support system but me, which is totally normal and not suspicious.'”
“‘The OB told her she has a high-risk pregnancy, but that shouldn’t mean I have to help her extra, right?'”
“‘By extra, I mean anything outside of my normal routine.’”
“Ffs, what’s gonna happen when the kid comes.”
“Maybe read a parenting book or something.”
“You are not prepared.”
“Also YTA.”- ladytypeperson
“Oh, that’s super cool that you’ve been pregnant and understand that it’s uncomfortable!”
“Oh wait, no.”
“It’s f*cking weird as hell, dude, and the single most dangerous event in a woman’s life.”
“You think you’re tired and stressed by this?”
“You are 1% as tired, stressed, and inconvenienced as she is.”
“YTA.”
“OP has said that 2/3 times there was something wrong, and yet is talking as though she’s a hypochondriac.”
“AND you told her your job is more important than her life or the life of your child.”
“I wouldn’t talk to you either, at least without major apologies.”- Resitance_Cat
“YTA for real.”
“You made it seem like you take her every other day.”
“Four times in seven months is completely reasonable!”
“She’s scared and just wants to be sure the kid is ok!”
“Good lord.”- richardthickcreams
“YTA.”
“She should leave you.”
“She is due to give birth NEXT MONTH.”
“If something goes wrong, it could go very wrong, very fast.”
“You might have left your co-workers shorthanded.”
“She could have died of eclampsia or been in premature labor.”
“You’re not the same.”- NeeliSilverleaf
“’Taking advantage of the fact that she can get me to do things for her.’”
“That statement would relate to asking you to go get her ice cream or something, not take her to the hospital.”
“YTA.”
“What is wrong with you?”- Agreeable_Guard_7229
“YTA.”
“I’m pretty sure your girlfriend knows her own body better than you do.”
“Pregnancy is hard at the best of times, to say nothing of it being her first time, and she’s terrified.”
“If she says she wants to go to the hospital, she’s not doing it just for giggles or because she thinks she can make you do whatever she wants.”
“It’s because she’s genuinely frightened.”
“What are you going to do when she says she thinks she might be in labor?”
“Blow her off because she’s being manipulative and overreacting?”- WolfGoddess77
“YTA.”
“During my friend’s pregnancy, she had discomfort enough to visit the hospital five times prior to birth.”
“One of those times, she had a kidney infection and needed a 2-day hospital stay.”
“Her partner didn’t believe her, and I took her instead.”
“Pregnancy is unpredictable, and stress makes a big impact.”
“Please just take her to the hospital, encourage her to seek mental health care, and suggest she join some mommy support groups.”
“If you are her only support and she’s scared of course, she’s going to rely heavily on you.”-Slothfulsnuggle
“Why do women reproduce with males like you? I’ll never understand.”
“To be fair, she is way younger than you.”
“Explains the bad decision.”- reyan227
That the OP could so easily brush off his girlfriend’s concerns, knowing she has a high-risk pregnancy and not much of a support system nearby, does make one wonder what he’ll be like as a father.
As many parents would, indeed, drop everything to ensure their child is safe and healthy.
One can only hope the OP can do some rapid growing up before his child is born.