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Woman Stirs Drama By Bringing Up Sister-In-Law’s Miscarriage Before Announcing Her Own Pregnancy

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Redditor Just_Increase7861is a 29-year-old male who recently married a woman who is the same age.

The pair met during college, and his parents were hoping the two would eventually wind up together–which ended up working out for everyone.

When a family member made a life-changing announcement at a recent get-together to celebrate Easter early, things went downhill.

After the fallout from the event, he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (subReddit) and asked:

“AITA for my reaction when my sister announced her pregnancy?”

The Original Poster (OP) wrote:

“My wife ‘Hailey’ (29F) and I(29M) were very close growing up. We lived next door and spent the majority of the time together.”

“Our parents were hoping we would end up together. We went separate ways in college and started dating after graduation. I proposed to her and we got married last year.”

“Hailey and my sister ‘Jess’ (32F) do not get along. Jess went out with Hailey’s brother and things turned ugly. It’s caused a lot of stress between the families.”

“Jess and I aren’t close, but are friendly when we see each other. Jess is now happily married and lives in another state.”

“Hailey and I have been trying for the past couple of months to get pregnant. Two weeks ago we received the devasting news that she had miscarried.”

“It has taken a huge toll on her and I’ve been doing everything I can to be supportive. Friends and family have been great as well.”

“We celebrated the Easter holiday early as some family was not able to make it over the weekend. Jess kept asking Hailey questions about the miscarriage and I told Jess to back off.”

“When it came time to eat, Jess had a huge smile on her face and announced the pregnancy. Her husband looked shocked and got up from the table. Hailey started crying and excuse herself.”

“This is where I might have been the AH. I look at my sister and start yelling at her for everything. She starts screaming at me for being a terrible brother and embarrassing her in front of the family.”

“Our parents get involved and I go to comfort Hailey. We left and I haven’t spoken to her. Our parents want us to work things out for the sake of the family.”

“AITA for my reaction when my sister announced her pregnancy?”

Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

A good majority of Redditors sided with the OP as not the a**hole.

“NTA. She has the right to announce her pregnancy and be happy for herself but the fact that she deliberately kept asking invasive questions about your wife’s miscarriage AND THEN chose to announce it in front of her is vindictive as hell.”

“Miscarriages are excruciating for couples and she chose to exploit that. I wouldn’t speak to her until she apologized and even then I don’t know if I’d want her in my life.” – GlobalWing8159

“Wow. NTA.”

“OP, your sister is a cruel and horrendous person. So she deliberately was asking questions about your wife’s miscarriage and then chose to announce her pregnancy, knowing your wife had miscarried.”

“She was trying to stick it to Hailey where it hurts. She’s a calculated and nasty person for that.”

“You were absolutely right on the money with your reaction. You were probably more on the tame side. Some people would have started throwing hands.”

“Also, it seems like bad karma for Jess to be mocking someone’s recent miscarriage and newly pregnant herself. This goes beyond being mean. It’s borderline sadistic.”

“I hope you and your wife are able to get pregnant again soon.” – LowImagination3028

“Your sister is clearly TA. She could have used that time when she was questioning Hailey to instead prep her. I know this will be hard for you so I wanted to give you a heads up.” – ResidentRepulsive

“Her questioning is waving flags for me, as I’ve seen others mention too. I wonder if it wasn’t just her digging in about the miscarriage but getting info. If she’s faking the pregnancy she’ll need to know how to fake the miscarriage too.” – ChaosDragoness13

“I agree with all of this. OP, there’s something wrong with your sister. Her actions were twisted at best. I would probably text her, ‘I’m going to hope that you never know what it’s like to lose a child. But your behavior has shown me a side of you that I’m ashamed of.'”

“‘You took joy in hurting two people who were already hurting and that’s something you can never take back. Our relationship will never be the same, and I need time away from you to decide if we’ll ever have a relationship again. Until then, I’ll be blocking you on everything.'” – crystallz2000


“Your sister is a real piece of work. Along with other commenters, I also think that her actions were cold, calculating, and deliberately cruel. To announce a pregnancy after quizzing your wife is deplorable.”

“I don’t think Jess is interested in working things out. Your parents want things to work out between you both, but that doesn’t mean you have to do that. Jess is hurtful presence in your lives.” – SupergirlKrypton

“NTA – She legitimately did this for the express reason of upsetting your wife. Had someone done that to my wife, they wouldn’t be welcome in my home again.”

“The announcement itself wasn’t the issue. The questions themselves weren’t necessarily the issue, but we’re definitely leaning that way. Combine them, and this becomes a malicious act to tear down your wife.”

“’Jess’ needs to make like Team Rocket and blast off again.” – Character-Spinach591

“Her timing was calculated, and the fact that she wouldnt stop asking questions about something as sensitive as a miscarriage is just twisting the knife.”

“That said, your reaction also wasn’t ideal but I can imagine emotions were very high as she was hurting your wife in the moment and there was a lot of history. Might be worth an honest conversation in the future; maybe with some neutral party or your parents mediating.” – Anaesthaesaeologae

“Totally think its possible she’s lying. She may have told hubby she’s preggers before the dinner and he told her to wait. However, she pumped Hailey on purpose with the dual purpose of torment and also know what to do when she faked her ‘miscarriage’ to take away the attention her SIL gets.”

“OP, your sister carrying a grudge about an ex-boyfriend after she married another man is sick and frankly, I pity her. Do the same. Go NC. If parents are upset, NC them, too.” – mphs95

“NTA I don’t understand is why:”

“a) Jess kept asking questions about Hailey’s miscarriage if it made her uncomfortable and then; b) Annouced to everyone, knowing full well about the miscarriage and the recentness of it, that she is pregnant.”

“Jess seems thoughtless and inconsiderate and I can see why you were both upset. I wouldn’t dream of ever doing this to another family member (or anyone for that matter!)”

“Sorry for your loss, OP. There are some helpful reddit subgroups that can help you guys through this: r/miscarriage r/ttcafterloss” – Cry_Original

“NTA. It seems very likely your sister did this on purpose. Either her husband didn’t know or wasn’t on board with the announcement. Either way, she clearly didn’t care about anything but making a scene.”

“As for your parents wanting everyone to work things out…..”

“’Mom and dad I understand why it would be easier on you. If Jess is able to provide an honest and sincere apology for the callous and intentional way she hurt me and my wife, we will consider the apology. But I can’t make any promises because what she did was so wrong and she hasn’t accepted responsibility yet.’” – angel2hi

“NTA. I think your sister is an AH in this situation because she purposely used her pregnancy to hurt your wife.”

“That was obvious by how she made it a point to continuously ask your wife about her miscarriage moments before announcing her pregnancy. Everyone knows miscarriages are difficult and not a pleasant topic of discussion, especially right after it happened.”

“And the fact that her husband didn’t even know yet or seem happy about it makes me wonder if she just found out and only announced it at that moment because she knew it would hurt your wife.”

“I mean, why wouldn’t she tell her husband privately first then announce to the family? Seems intentional.” – Such_Ad7626

“NTA. Your sister is vile and cruel. Be on the lookout if you need to intercept any communications from her that would hurt your wife more.”

“Personally, I would go full no contact with her for awhile so she can understand how unbelievably cruel she was. I’d send the baby shower invitation back, unopened, as ‘return to a**hole.'” – SnazzySusieQ

Overall, Redditors suggested Jess’ intentions were deliberate, and that the OP’s reaction berating her and defending his wife was warranted.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo