It's generally understood that when children fly the coop and start living on their own, they stop relying on their parents for support.
Even so, some parents will still make an effort to help their children, no matter how old they are.
While there is nothing necessarily wrong with this, this could lead to these parents discovering their children have grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle.
A lifestyle that isn't, at the end of the day, sustainable.
The sister of Redditor Throwaway74689792 fell on some hard times, resulting in the original poster (OP)'s mother coming to her assistance.
However, this help was always meant to be temporary, and when the end date finally came, the OP's sister was not at all happy about it.
So unhappy that the OP even went so far as calling their sister a "spoiled brat".
Concerned they may have gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for telling my sister she is being spoiled brat and obviously mom isn't giving her a house no matter how much work she put into it?"
The OP explained why they couldn't help but call out their sister for her behavior:
"My sister is pissed at me so I figured I should come here for some opinions."
"Also we can't afford this house, it is probably over half a million."
"My mom owns a house that she got went her own parents passed aways."
"She got the house in 2019 and she hates this house."
"Covid happened so selling the house got put on hold and she had to pay everything on it."
"She was going to sell it in 2022 but my sister needed a place to stay."
"She just got out of a divorce, no degree and needed help."
"So my mom allowed her to live there while she went back to school."
"My sister is now graduated and has a stable job as a nurse."
"The whole time my mom was paying for the house."
"My sister didn’t pay rent."
"My mom doesn’t visit the house, she hates it."
"She has made it so clear she is excited to sell it for years."
"My sister has been renovating the house, I thought mom knew about this but she didn’t apparently."
"Anyways to the main issue."
"Mom is selling the house and she told my sister she needs to be out by Christmas."
"My sister didn’t take it well."
"She came ranting to me about the situation and said she deserved the house since she put so much work into it."
"I snorted and she asked what the f*ck that was and I told her she was being a spoiled brat."
"She got free housing for 4 years and mom made it so clear she was going to sell it."
"We got into an argument and she is pissed I sided with mom."
"I said it was f*cking stupid for her to even think she was going to get a free house."
"Thats not how it works."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for calling her sister a spoiled brat.
Everyone agreed that the OP's sister should consider herself very lucky for getting to live in the house rent-free for as long as she did, and the OP did the absolutely right thing by putting her in her place:
"Easy solution: she can buy the house from mom."
"Expecting a free house is bananas."
"She can buy it just like everyone else who pays for their housing."
"NTA, you're on the money about how she's acting."- Due-Commission2099
"Tell her the work she put into it makes up for the rent she never paid."
"If she wants the house, she can buy it from your mom."
"NTA but you’re right, your sister is spoiled and entitled."- lizbaby42
"NTA."
"Your sister needs to address this with your mother, not you."
"If she wants the house, then she should offer to buy it."
"Expecting it for free just because she did some remodeling is a bit out of touch, especially if your mom has been vocal about wanting to sell the house for years now."
"It was very kind of her to let your sister live there for free, and it sounds like she did her part in helping your sister to get back on her feet after her divorce, but your mother is not obligated to give your sister a whole house, and you're not an a**hole for finding your sister ridiculous in this situation."- Wise-Web5628
"NTA."
"Your sister failed to communicate anything to her mom. Had she done the bare minimum of asking your guy's mom if she could have it instead, or mention the renovations she's been doing, or even offer to buy it off of her, this wouldn't have happened."
"Honestly, she can still offer to buy it off her mom, maybe even get a discount on it if she'd lock in already and stop throwing a tantrum."- SinisterSkinwalker
"NTA."
"It your mums house lol."
"Why the hell did she do renovations on a house that didn’t belong to her?"
"Maybe the renovations will make up for the fact that she didn’t need to pay rent for the first 4 years."
"She really is acting very spoiled, expecting a free house."- Working_Pianist_9904
"NTA."
"Sister is a fool and legally does not have a leg to stand on."- Adorable_Machine_571
"NTA."
"4 years of rent is a lot of money, regardless of how many renovations were done."
"If she happened to increase the value with the work put in, it would only subsidize the cost of her living there for free."- bijliand_rain
"NTA."
"She renovated a house without permission from the owner, or even letting the owner know they were going on."
"That money could have been better spent towards buying the house herself."- lemon_charlie
"NTA."
"I hope for your mom's sake that any major changes your sister made to the house were permitted."
"It can be a nightmare to sell a house with illegal renovations."- Appropriate-Bar-2822
"NTA."
"And some work actually make a house less valuable."- LingonberryPrior6896
"NTA."
"She’s acting like a privileged brat."
"If she wants the house, she can take our a mortgage and pay for it like others do."- Proof-Plan-6834
"NTA."
"Any maintenance or repairs she has made should just be counted as rent and/or being a good tenant."
"If she wants the house, she needs to negotiate with your Mum for a private sale."
"Maybe she will get it slightly cheaper because you guys would only have legal fees, not real estate fees on top of it?"- Capital-Temporary-17
"NTA."
"She was altering a home without the permission of the owner."
"That was her choice, and she has only herself to blame for the financial consequences."
"She is not entitled to the house."- DeadGodsDream
"NTA."
"She was living rent-free for years with zero promise of ownership, that’s not how property works no matter how much effort she put in."- BigBirdsBrain
"NTA."
"Yes sis got an inch.. now wants a mile."- Open_Geologist_42
"NTA."
"But this is not really your fight."
"You need to let your Mom and your sister work this out."- Prechrchet
"NTA."
"She wouldn’t listen when you were talking in a civil, rational manner."
"Some people need to hear the brutal truth."- LauraLand27
"NTA."
"The house is not hers to begin with."
"She can buy the house from your mom."
"She already got 4 years of free rent."
"She’s being ungrateful."- DanaMarie75038
"NTA."
"Your sister was foolish to invest in something she had no promise to be able to keep."
"However, depending on what the renovations were and if they will help sell or increase the value of the property, your mom could consider reimbursing her for the added value."
"But she doesn’t have to."
"And if it’s not something that would help with the sale then sis is SOL."
"And she should still be grateful for 4 years of no rent."- Fianna9
"NTA."
"However, I’d stay out of this in the future."
"Just say, ‘It’s Mom’s house and her decision. She’s given you eight months to move out, and between your job and no rent until Christmas, you’ll be able to save up to move elsewhere."
"After that, just leave it to your mom to deal with her."
"This is not your problem, and you should decline to discuss further— just repeat 'Mom’s house, her decision', and avoid further arguments and insults."- Leading-Knowledge712
Very few people find themselves as lucky as the OP's sister in finding a rent-free living situation.
A situation that was never guaranteed to last forever.
If the OP's sister thought she would live her life completely on handouts, being put in her place by the OP was probably the wakeup call she needed.
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