Not everyone gets along with their in-laws.
So how do you deal with them at the obligatory family functions?
One woman thought it would be best to ban her brother-in-law (BIL) after repeated issues.
Redditor AdministrativePin466 was tired of putting up with her 21-year-old BIL—who incessantly joked about the genetics of her son.
After his latest comment became the last straw, she turned to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to see what strangers had to say.
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“Aita for telling my husband I don’t want his brother around our son because of his DNA concerns?”
“My husband and I have a two year old son together. My husband is a great and attentive father but this problem for the past year and a half or so is reaching its breaking point and I’m extremely annoyed.”
“I made this ultimatum with my husband last night after a fight I had with his brother.”
“I have brown hair and blue eyes, my husband has blond hair and blue eyes and our son has brown hair and brown eyes. Honestly didn’t think much of it until my brother in law made a comment when my son was around a year old on how rare it is for two people with blue eyes to have a child with brown eyes.”
“We thought it was an interesting observation and moved on.”
“But he keeps bringing it up. Again he made another comment on my sons second birthday.”
“My best friend is Asian. My ex from almost seven years ago (I’ve been with my husband for five years now) is Asian as well. He ‘joked’ that my son looks more like my friend (?) because he has dark hair and eyes, then he turned to me and said ‘Isn’t your ex Asian? Maybe my bro needs a test’ and laughed.”
“I thought this was so rude and was so happy no one nearby heard it.”
“The straw the broke the camels back was when I went to the beach yesterday with my husband and son. We all got pretty tan from being in the sun all day and I took a picture of us and posted it on my story. My brother in law swiped up and said: ‘Why’s my brother holding a little Mexican kid’ with a bunch of laughing emojis.”
“I went off on him and told him that I’m sick and tired of his little jokes towards my son all because he has brown hair and brown eyes and his father is blonde with blue eyes.”
“He’s 21 so I get he’s young but until he stops with the constant DNA jokes, I don’t want him around our son. If he doesn’t believe they’re related, there’s obviously no bond and I don’t feel comfortable with him around him.”
“I told my husband to tell his brother this and he’s saying I’m the a**hole wanting him to tell his brother he can’t see his nephew and that he knows our son is his so why do I let his brothers comments affect me.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
“Your BIL is being a massive douche.”
“Your husband is being a jerk for letting this comments continue without stepping up to protect you and his family. NTA.” – mrbrinks
The OP did add her husband made an attempt at shutting down the mockery.
“I will admit he’s told him off a few times and reminds him that two of their uncles have brown eyes but his brother is just a little douche in general.”
“They’re very close and the only sibling my husband has so I know this is hard for him but honestly I’m just done with these stupid remarks because I’m being painted out like an adulteress and it gets tiring.”
However, this Redditor believes the husband has no excuses.
“Your husband is TA. He needs to have a serious conversation with his family that these jokes are racist and inappropriate and that until they stop his family isn’t invited.”
“That’s taking a stand not the wishy washy telling off his family. That’s not a supportive husband or partner anyone deserves.”
“You should stop defending him and clearly see that his family is his responsibility and he needs to shut them up.” – shanimahajan
“NTA, but your husband is T A for (1) allowing his brother to directly accuse you of infidelity and then (2) blaming you for being offended by it, as in ‘Why do you let it bother you?.'”
“Your husband needs to shut that down and tell bro that bro must respect his wife (OP).”
“And it should not be necessary but here is the article the OP’s husband can show to his brother. After which bro will owe you (OP) an abject and sincere apology.” – TIL_eulenspiegel
“NTA. That is completely inappropriate for him to talk about you cheating. He’s being a sh*t head on purpose.”
“My parents both have dark brown eyes, my brother and I have green eyes, two different shades of green in fact.”
“My 1st baby daddy has green eyes like I do. Our daughter and his other daughters with his wife all have blue eyes(his wife has brown eyes).”
“My husband has almost black eyes (Hispanic) and we have one with hazel eyes and one with light brown eyes.”
“Eye color seems to be Russian roulette.” – carry_on_and_on
“His brother is 21, old enough to know better and know it’s not a joke. You son is 2, old enough to start picking up on the emotions of people around him and very soon he will be old enough to understand his uncles ‘jokes’.”
“Ask your husband what is more important to him, his brother being able to make these jokes at your expense and his sons expense or his sons feelings? Because when kiddo is old enough to get what his uncle is saying it’s going to break his little heart.”
“And regardless, his family may have joked like this with uncles and cousins and they may not have minded but you DO mind so it needs to stop. His loyalty should be with his son and his wife, not his brother.” – HellcatPaz
Redditors believed that jokes are only funny when they’re followed by laughter, which was not the case here.