We’d like to think that we, as a society, have outgrown the expectation that men belong in the office and women belong at home.
Or, for that matter, we no longer look down on mothers or fathers who make the decision to be stay-at-home parents.
Sadly, far too many people still carry those tragically antiquated views.
What’s worse, they assume that stay-at-home parents have it easy.
The husband of Redditor ClearCoffee7140 certainly thought his wife had it easy, even though she worked from home while also taking care of their children full-time.
Yet, in the eyes of her husband, it seemed the original poster (OP) wasn’t doing nearly enough.
So little did he value her time and effort that he even offered to work from home to prove his point.
An offer the OP accepted with glee.
Having doubts about everything that transpired after this, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for letting my kids disturb my husband during an important work meeting, after he said he would handle them for a day to prove how easy my job is?”
The OP explained why her husband was left fuming after working from home to prove a point:
“I’m 31 F[emale] and my husband is 36 M[ale].”
“We have two boys, a 5yr old and a 7yr old.”
“My husband works in an office and he has the option to work a few days a week from home, but he prefers not to because he says it’s easier to focus in the office.”
“I run a small business from home.”
“I don’t have a lot of daily work, just some emails and planning (maybe 3 hours a day?) but the business does make about a third of our household income.”
“But my younger son is home all day and just dealing with him takes a lot of energy.”
“He’s really high energy and will probably wreck something if you leave him alone for an hour.”
“And then the older one comes home at 3 and both of them are with me until 8 or 9, which is when my husband usually comes home.”
“A few days ago, I was really tired and I didn’t make dinner.”
“When my husband came home I asked him if we could just order something.”
“He was also tired and we were both short tempered so we ended up snapping at each other.”
“He said I should have at least ordered before he got home and he was hungry, I said I forgot and it’s not fair that food is always my problem.”
“He said that I’m home all day and I even admit I don’t have much work to do, so I’m basically a SAHM and should at least take care of dinner.”
“I said he has no idea how much I do everyday, and he said he’d handle the kids for an entire day while also working from home just to prove it should be easy for me.”
“I said sure, so he made the arrangements to work from home yesterday.”
“I slept in, and when I woke up he was already frazzled from getting the older one ready for school.”
“He ended up having to cancel a meeting to make breakfast, and was worried about that.”
“Then when he took another meeting later on, the boys went out to play in the yard and got super muddy and left footprints all over the house.”
“Which he then had to mop, and I didn’t help at all.”
“By this point I did feel sort of guilty because it was definitely harder for him to take care of work at the same time, but all I wanted was an apology.”
“He said he was doing this to show that I do nothing all day, and if he just admitted he was wrong I would have helped out straight away.”
“Later on he had another meeting, and he told the boys not to bother him for an hour.”
“But about 20 mins in, they got in an argument about something and our younger one went into my husband’s room to complain.”
“He was really loud and my husband’s video was also on, then he told the kid to leave him alone but he was upset and crying and wasn’t listening.”
“After a few mins my husband went back to the meeting and apologized to the other people.”
“when it was finished, he was really angry at me. he said I could see what was happening and I just watched him struggle without helping.”
“I said all you had to say was please help, he said I shouldn’t be so petty and prideful.”
“This probably made him look a bit stupid in front of his manager, but it was only a few minutes and I don’t think It was the huge deal he made it out to be.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for letting her children disrupt her husband while he was working from home.
Everyone agreed that if the OP’s husband wanted to prove how easy she had it working at home with the kids, then he should experience it just as she does, with the children running amok and potentially interrupting his work:
“Him saying you can see him struggling but you did nothing is the whole problem.”
“He sees you struggling and does nothing to help take things off your plate, he piles more stuff onto it.”
“Maybe you could have helped out during the meeting but honestly I say NTA.”
“When he calms down point out that he experienced a fraction of what you have to handle on a daily basis.”- Secret_Double_9239
“He’s seriously saying you ‘shouldn’t be so petty and prideful’?”
“While you are being petty (with reason) *he* is the one being prideful, all he had to do was admit he was wrong and you’d have helped but he chose to screw up in front of his manager rather than admit fault.”
“NTA.”- RamblingManUK
“NTA.”
“He deserved a little comeuppance.”
“If he doesn’t come home until 8-9?”
“You are basically a single mother, working part time, while taking full care of two small children, and maintaining an entire household… with little-to-no help from him.”
“You’re allowed to occasionally be exhausted.”
“He was an @ss for making you feel guilty about one dinner.”
“He was an even bigger @ss to insinuate that what you do is no big deal.”
“The icing on his a**hole sh*t cake was claiming he could easily do it.”
“F*ck around and find out.”
*With so many people working from home now?”
“People obviously understand there’s a slight possibility a kid will interrupt something.”
“It was likely no big deal to his meeting.”
“And he deserved it.”- Desperate-Film599
“You’re NTA.”
“Automatic A-H energy there.”
“What you could see was what your day to day life is like, just starring him for a change.”
“Look who’s talking!”- Dittoheadforever
“NTA.”
“And if I’m not reading the post completely wrong, they’re your husband’s kids as well?”
“So not sure why point 1. is worded as it is with the ‘I didn’t step in to help when *my* kids were disturbing him’.”
“He said he could handle it, he couldn’t – that’s on him.”- KarinmedQ
“NTA.”
“Has he apologized yet?”
“Tbh, if I were you, I’d make sure he has them on his own far more often from now on.”
“I’d be booking weekends away.”- alwaysright12
“NTA, you need to stand your ground.”
“The facts are he asked for this, so he got what he wanted.”
“You gave him a day with the kids whilst working, and he couldn’t do it.”
“The worst kind of people are those that can’t admit they are wrong; he is being wrong and loud, trying to turn this into you being petty; he made the rules, and now he’s mad that you’ve followed them.”
“No, he is an ungrateful husband.”
“It sounds like you’re a single married woman, you’re doing everything whilst also working.”
“Why does he come home around 8-9?”
“It also means he isn’t calling to check in because he could have known to order food before coming home.”
“You’re doing everything and he also wants you to anticipate his thoughts which contradict his words.”
“You need to stand up for yourself, he should become an equal partner, active parent and respect your contributions, because, honestly, you seem to be managing fine without him, he needs to realize that.”- Ok_Boat_1243
It’s pretty bold of anyone who spends the majority of their day out of the house to act like they know what goes on while they’re not there.
This is particularly true if these same individuals make a point of choosing to head into the office rather than work from home to avoid distractions.
Needless to say, it seems that the OP came out on top of this rather petty bet her husband made.