We'd like to think that we, as a society, have outgrown the expectation that men belong in the office and women belong at home.
Or, for that matter, we no longer look down on mothers or fathers who make the decision to be stay-at-home parents.
Sadly, far too many people still carry those tragically antiquated views.
What's worse, they assume that stay-at-home parents have it easy.
The husband of Redditor ClearCoffee7140 certainly thought his wife had it easy, even though she worked from home while also taking care of their children full-time.
Yet, in the eyes of her husband, it seemed the original poster (OP) wasn't doing nearly enough.
So little did he value her time and effort that he even offered to work from home to prove his point.
An offer the OP accepted with glee.
Having doubts about everything that transpired after this, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for letting my kids disturb my husband during an important work meeting, after he said he would handle them for a day to prove how easy my job is?"
The OP explained why her husband was left fuming after working from home to prove a point:
"I'm 31 F[emale] and my husband is 36 M[ale]."
"We have two boys, a 5yr old and a 7yr old."
"My husband works in an office and he has the option to work a few days a week from home, but he prefers not to because he says it's easier to focus in the office."
"I run a small business from home."
"I don't have a lot of daily work, just some emails and planning (maybe 3 hours a day?) but the business does make about a third of our household income."
"But my younger son is home all day and just dealing with him takes a lot of energy."
"He's really high energy and will probably wreck something if you leave him alone for an hour."
"And then the older one comes home at 3 and both of them are with me until 8 or 9, which is when my husband usually comes home."
"A few days ago, I was really tired and I didn't make dinner."
"When my husband came home I asked him if we could just order something."
"He was also tired and we were both short tempered so we ended up snapping at each other."
"He said I should have at least ordered before he got home and he was hungry, I said I forgot and it's not fair that food is always my problem."
"He said that I'm home all day and I even admit I don't have much work to do, so I'm basically a SAHM and should at least take care of dinner."
"I said he has no idea how much I do everyday, and he said he'd handle the kids for an entire day while also working from home just to prove it should be easy for me."
"I said sure, so he made the arrangements to work from home yesterday."
"I slept in, and when I woke up he was already frazzled from getting the older one ready for school."
"He ended up having to cancel a meeting to make breakfast, and was worried about that."
"Then when he took another meeting later on, the boys went out to play in the yard and got super muddy and left footprints all over the house."
"Which he then had to mop, and I didn't help at all."
"By this point I did feel sort of guilty because it was definitely harder for him to take care of work at the same time, but all I wanted was an apology."
"He said he was doing this to show that I do nothing all day, and if he just admitted he was wrong I would have helped out straight away."
"Later on he had another meeting, and he told the boys not to bother him for an hour."
"But about 20 mins in, they got in an argument about something and our younger one went into my husband's room to complain."
"He was really loud and my husband's video was also on, then he told the kid to leave him alone but he was upset and crying and wasn't listening."
"After a few mins my husband went back to the meeting and apologized to the other people."
"when it was finished, he was really angry at me. he said I could see what was happening and I just watched him struggle without helping."
"I said all you had to say was please help, he said I shouldn't be so petty and prideful."
"This probably made him look a bit stupid in front of his manager, but it was only a few minutes and I don't think It was the huge deal he made it out to be."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for letting her children disrupt her husband while he was working from home.
Everyone agreed that if the OP's husband wanted to prove how easy she had it working at home with the kids, then he should experience it just as she does, with the children running amok and potentially interrupting his work:
"Him saying you can see him struggling but you did nothing is the whole problem."
"He sees you struggling and does nothing to help take things off your plate, he piles more stuff onto it."
"Maybe you could have helped out during the meeting but honestly I say NTA."
"When he calms down point out that he experienced a fraction of what you have to handle on a daily basis."- Secret_Double_9239
"He's seriously saying you 'shouldn't be so petty and prideful'?"
"While you are being petty (with reason) *he* is the one being prideful, all he had to do was admit he was wrong and you'd have helped but he chose to screw up in front of his manager rather than admit fault."
"NTA."- RamblingManUK
"NTA."
"He deserved a little comeuppance."
"If he doesn't come home until 8-9?"
"You are basically a single mother, working part time, while taking full care of two small children, and maintaining an entire household… with little-to-no help from him."
"You're allowed to occasionally be exhausted."
"He was an @ss for making you feel guilty about one dinner."
"He was an even bigger @ss to insinuate that what you do is no big deal."
"The icing on his a**hole sh*t cake was claiming he could easily do it."
"F*ck around and find out."
*With so many people working from home now?"
"People obviously understand there's a slight possibility a kid will interrupt something."
"It was likely no big deal to his meeting."
"And he deserved it."- Desperate-Film599
"You're NTA."
"Automatic A-H energy there."
"What you could see was what your day to day life is like, just starring him for a change."
"Look who's talking!"- Dittoheadforever
"NTA."
"And if I'm not reading the post completely wrong, they're your husband's kids as well?"
"So not sure why point 1. is worded as it is with the 'I didn't step in to help when *my* kids were disturbing him'."
"He said he could handle it, he couldn't - that's on him."- KarinmedQ
"NTA."
"Has he apologized yet?"
"Tbh, if I were you, I'd make sure he has them on his own far more often from now on."
"I'd be booking weekends away."- alwaysright12
"NTA, you need to stand your ground."
"The facts are he asked for this, so he got what he wanted."
"You gave him a day with the kids whilst working, and he couldn't do it."
"The worst kind of people are those that can't admit they are wrong; he is being wrong and loud, trying to turn this into you being petty; he made the rules, and now he's mad that you've followed them."
"No, he is an ungrateful husband."
"It sounds like you're a single married woman, you're doing everything whilst also working."
"Why does he come home around 8-9?"
"It also means he isn't calling to check in because he could have known to order food before coming home."
"You're doing everything and he also wants you to anticipate his thoughts which contradict his words."
"You need to stand up for yourself, he should become an equal partner, active parent and respect your contributions, because, honestly, you seem to be managing fine without him, he needs to realize that."- Ok_Boat_1243
It's pretty bold of anyone who spends the majority of their day out of the house to act like they know what goes on while they're not there.
This is particularly true if these same individuals make a point of choosing to head into the office rather than work from home to avoid distractions.
Needless to say, it seems that the OP came out on top of this rather petty bet her husband made.
















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.