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Mom Gets Lost In The Woods Only To Stumble Topless Into A Middle School Graduation Ceremony

JGI/Jamie Grill via Getty Images

A mother of two recently took her kids to explore the great outdoors at a nearby park. It was a long, disastrous outing.

We’re talking extreme physical exertion, the fear of death, full blown nudity, and the watchful, judging eyes only middle schoolers possess.

The mom, known on Reddit as buckshill08, recounted the entire ordeal in a post on the “Today I F***ed Up” subReddit.

Before things took a turn, she had all the trappings of mother of the year. 

“I (32f) got lost in my favorite hiking park (it’s huge). I thought I was deep in the woods.”

“I was pulling my two toddlers behind me in one of those cart things you can hitch to the back of a bike for kids to ride in. I rigged it like a stroller but it got too hard to push… so I used the wrist strap and tied it to my back belt loop.”

“Had just climbed a huge hill 3x going back and forth (lost). I had tracked through a swamp and was covered in mud. Again, I thought I was deep in the park and hadn’t seen another person all day.”

Faced with the dire circumstances, she went full pragmatic. 

“So …..boob sweat is a thing. I ditched my bra and was wearing a loose tank with buttons all the way down the front. I undid them all.”

“Was at a level of ‘f*** it we are all going to die here.’ GPS was not working.”

That worked for awhile, until she discovered civilization again. 

“And then ….I stumbled into a field adjacent to a parking lot I’d never been to before. Into a crowd of 14yos and their parents. Some had grad gowns.”

“I had my t*ts flapping in the wind, my progeny hauled behind me (tied to my butt, like the banana boat girl), and mud almost to my elbows.”

At least there was one understanding soul in the gaggle of victims she had flashed.

“A nice gentlemen offered me directions. I was less than half a mile from my car -_-“

“F***. My. Life.”

Many Redditors assured her that, in this case, the graduating tweens had ZERO problem with her topless entrance.

“Parents at graduation ceremony: what in the actual f***?”

“14-year old boys at graduation ceremony: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F***?” — cheeseshrice1966

“You gave those kids a gift that almost no parent or school can provide: an interesting middle school graduation.”

“Seriously, they’re going to be telling the story of the crazy mud monster throwing her t*ts around their graduation ceremony for years to come.” — thefrozenfoodsection

“Not to sound creepy but you know if anyone was mad about it, it was only parents lol. You know how teenagers are.” — ThanosPizzaCrust

“As a former 14 yo boy, the sight of any t*ts, be they covered in sweat, mud or any other substance, is a godsend. I can assure you those boys won’t ever forget the sight of your boobies.”

“They’ll remember at least once a day when they’re alone…” — medicman77

Some comments picked up on that last train of thought, shedding light on the long-term implications of the grand entrance. 

“And now you’re in the spank bank of all of those jr high boys. No matter what happens, you will be the first t*tties many of these boys have seen.”

“10 years from now, someone on reddit will post to r/askreddit about first t*tty sightings and at least one young man will post this encounter from his perspective.” — RainbowDarter

“Some of those kids are gonna have very specific fetishes because of you” — JabaDaBud

“You’ve given those children a kink that will last a life time” — Jonty_Grills

Others chose to focus on her motherhood and/or survival chops. 

“I just wanna commend you on carrying around a caboose on your hike the whole time. Stronger than most people i know after that feat…” — kiimo

“I love the fact that when things got rough you decided the bra had to go” — Blahblahblah34574

“I’m going to use the ‘f*** it, were all going to die here so my t*ts are coming out” as my new motto in bad parenting moments. You’re amazing.” — Fi_is_too_much

“It’s sad we have to feel bad for relieving ourselves from heat as women yet men can do it all damn day. Just boobs. I have giant boobs and ditch the bra all day long. Screw that.”

“You’re a saint to all us big boobed women” — kida27

Reddit assurances aside, this may be a good time for her to buy a few paper maps of the much-loved park.

Eric Spring

Written by Eric Spring

Eric Spring lives in New York City. He has poor vision and cooks a good egg. Most of his money is spent on live music and produce. He usually wears plain, solid color sweatshirts without hoods because he assumes loud patterns make people expect something big. Typically, he'll bypass a handshake and go straight for the hug.