Redditor aitathrowaway566 was planning to get married in October.
But now, the bride is considering postponing her wedding after an incident involving her wedding dress and future in-laws made her furious.
She visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA For demanding my fiancé and his mom to pay for a new wedding address?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained what happened to the wedding dress.
“Me 26 F[emale] and my fiancé 28 M[ale] been engaged for 4 months, we’re planning on having our wedding on October 18th, My future mother in law kept annoying me and sending me suggestions for choosing the right wedding dress.”
“And said that she knew better and tried to get me to approve of wedding dresses that she chose and when she couldn’t enforce her decision she demanded that I take her with me to buy my wedding dress so she could have an opinion.”
“Before I went shopping I called her to ask if she wanted to come but started making excuses about how busy she was with my sister in law, I went shopping with my mom and I was able to find a really nice dress although it cost me a little over what I saved up for, but it was worth it.”
“I made some changes to it and it was perfect, it arrived to my apartment at the end of the week, I made sure it was stored in a safe place so it doesn’t get ruined.”
“Yesterday, I got back from my mom’s house, and found that my fiancé wasn’t home neither was the dress, I called him immediately knowing that he must’ve taken it to show it to his mom since she continuously asked to see it and refused to have me send her pictures of it on Facebook.”
“I was so mad when it was confirmed that my fiancé took it to show it to his mom, he said he was gonna be home in 30 minutes after he went to the supermarket I waited for longer than I had to and then when he arrived I ran to get my dress that was buried underneath grocery bags.”
“I took it to check on it and it’s zipper was broken and the dress itself (fabric) was stretched out, I was like what the f’k happened to it, my mother in law must’ve tried it on, because it looked ruined, the straps were almost loose.”
“I had to call my mother in law when my fiancé told me his mom and sister took turns to try it on, I was absolutely livid, she told me she did nothing wrong and that I was making a big deal out of it.”
“She said she’d get a replacement for the broken zipper, but I told her to pay for a new dress since it was stretched out and no longer fitting, she refused and said that I probably wasn’t happy with my dress choice and wanted to her to pay so I could get a new one.”
“I yelled at her for trying it on and ruining it, that she and my fiancé were responsible for ruining my dress so they should pay for a new one, It’s done, no longer fitting, the straps are in a horrible condition, my mom said she’d pay for fixing it but I just hate it now that someone else wore it before me.”
“I’m mad at both of them and seriously considering postponing the wedding.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
NTA – Not The A**hole
YTA – You’re The A**hole
ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors said the OP’s frustrations were warranted.
“NTA. There are so many levels of wrong here, and none of it by you.”
“First off, it’s super rude to try on someone else’s wedding dress. It’s extremely rude to try a dress on to the extent that the zipper breaks. Like, there had to have been some serious tugging and yanking and signs the dress obviously did not fit before the zipper broke.”
“But it’s really, really creepy that your fiancee’s mom wanted to wear your wedding dress. Did she imagine herself marrying her son?”
“And it’s very, very red-flaggy that your fiancee treated your wishes so cavalierly. Does he plan to put his mother ahead of you when it comes to things like kids or who he spends time with? Is there a pattern of him ignoring your wishes when it conflicts with hers? Does she make ‘jokes’ about how you’re taking her son away?” – fiveoclockmocktail
“NTA. First : your fiance took your dress without your knowledge or permission? Second :they tried it on ? Why tho!!? that goes beyond commen sense and what’s right IMO.”
“I think you should let them pay for it and get your fiance involved, if he doesn’t apologize and demand his family to repay you and apologize to you maybe you should consider all this wedding thing because stuff like that will keep happening in the future.” – reemkms
The OP responded to the above comment by identifying what had upset her most.
“This was a huge huge deal for me and I’m so damn angry, the audacity of this B*** to take the dress that I worked so hard to get and was so happy to finally find and and ruin it along with her daughter who clearly hates me and wants to take whatever I have, wether it be a new phone, job, dress etc.”
“They’re both bitter but my fiancé is the one I’m made at the most what he did was awful, he’s refusing to take responsibility for his mom’s awful behavior and is saying that the dress still looks fine.”
Given her resentment, Redditors seeing red flags gave the OP a stark warning.
“Do. Not. Marry. This. Man. Especially if he hasn’t been knocked on his ass by the realization of what he did.”
“This is not about the dress. This about your future family being willing to cross major social boundaries and your husband being perfectly fine aiding and abetting them.”
“They will stomp all over your life. They will violate every boundary and rule you set. You will never be able to feel secure at home because every time you turn your back, you will he wondering if your husband is helping them. That is no way to live. You’ll go bald with stress.”
“If you do not break up with him, the very lowest bar you should set is mandatory therapy, asap. And it goes without saying you must postpone the wedding.”
“I’m begging you, listen to reddit. Do not marry him.” – alligator124
“Please don’t marry this guy, you’ll be saving yourself years of bullsh*t and wasted money.” – Bearkaraoke
“As they say, ‘it’s easier to break up with a mama’s boy than to divorce a mama’s boy.’” – MoGeNo
“Please do not marry this person. Get the money for the dress, and take one of your friends on the honeymoon. You dodged a serious bullet.” – MsBaseball34
“NTA. What you need to do is:”
“1- request payment for the dress from both the mother in law and sister in law. Do this over text and save any and all messages where they admit what they did, even if they still refuse to pay.”
“This way you have proof they ruined it, then tell them if they won’t pay you for the dress you will be suing them for the money. If they still don’t budge serve them with papers. This will definitely get them to pay for it.”
“2- after you have all the money and they have payed you. LEAVE your fiancé. This is a HUGE red warning sign, showing you what the rest of your life with this man will be like.”
“Do you want to have kids with a man who can’t say no to his mother? What if he circumcises your kid without your knowledge? Takes your child somewhere you don’t want him to? All because of his mother? This is what your entire life with this man will be like.”
“3- once you leave him pawn the engagement ring. You deserve the money for everything they have put you through.” – SohpieBlake_
When a Redditor told the OP her fiancé basically “stole your property because his mother asked him to,” this was her response.
“The nerve of her to try to shift the blame and say that I was just trying to get money out of her because she said that I ‘no longer like the dress’ and refusing to acknowledge, refusing to take responsibility for her awful actions, along with her daughter is so damn infuriating and I can’t even look at the dress anymore.”
“I’m disgusted, I’m disappointed, mad and about to lose my mind because of what the terrible nonesense she keeps pulling, I’m done tolerating her behavior and letting her disrespect me like this, My fiancé is a 100 times worse than she is and he’s the one who started this.”
Redditors not only declared NTA, but they strongly suggested the OP call off the wedding entirely.
There has been no further update on any changes to her engagement status.