A name follows a person forever until they change it.
Parents want it to have meaning, but it may not hold the meaning intended.
In that case, it would be helpful if friends warned them, right?
Case in point…
Redditor addie_maylen wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my friend she is ruining her child’s life with the name she gave her?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I (21F[emale]) have been friends with Loreen (22 F) for 17 years now, and we’re really close.”
“She recently gave birth to her daughter, and she and her husband recently told us the name.”
“They decided to name their daughter Ghiuliyette (pronounced Juliet), and her middle name is Mariya.”
“I thought the spelling was a joke until she told me they are serious.”
“I told her that with that spelling of a simple but beautiful name is just going to ruin that little girl’s life.”
“She got mad and told me to stop ‘ruining’ her mood and that I was being mean.”
“I’m completely honest.”
“The spelling is just bad.”
“Nothing else can explain it.”
“Why ruin such a beautiful name by including letters that don’t belong there?”
“I texted her yesterday and told her that the little girl will try to change her name or at least go by her middle name since it’s normal.”
“She told me to stop texting her, that I’m a bad friend, and that I’m being the a**hole for making fun of the name.”
“I don’t think I am.”
“When I told her that the spelling was just bad, she went crazy.”
“She told me that I was the worst friend ever and that I would never be able to see her daughter again.”
“After that, her husband sent me an email telling me to stop being so disrespectful.”
“He thinks the spelling is cute, and it just makes her unique.”
“Unique-yes. But that’s just going to make that little girl suffer, and she will probably be bullied for that spelling.”
“I haven’t replied and honestly, I don’t think I’m the a**hole here, but I thought I’d ask Reddit since y’all are the best to judge.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So, am I the a**hole for telling my friend that the name she gave her daughter is bad and will ruin her life?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Hi. I’m a high school teacher.”
“I’ll tell you upfront that you’re right.”
“Kids with f**ked up spellings of their names are miserable about 3/4 of the time.”
“It’s difficult to spell, people mispronounce them, and official documents? Fuggedaboutit.”
“And we definitely judge parents.”
“We don’t think their kid’s names, looking like they just picked 10 random Scrabble tiles out of the box, are cute and unique; we think their parents are stupid and immature, like contestants on an early 2000s reality show like Flavor of Love or something.”
“It’s one of the ways we clock parents as potentially difficult.”
“I keep in touch with three students who changed their names from their parent’s spelling to the actual conventional spelling the minute they turned 18.”
“That kid will be ‘Juliet Maria’ as soon as she possibly can. NTA.” ~ Astute_Primate
“I have a conventional female name with a conventional spelling, but not a top 10 name in the 80s (still in the top 50).”
“I still got teased, heard mean variations on it, and my peers deliberately misgendered me by using the masculine version.”
“It was often misspelled even though it was the regular feminine spelling.”
“Don’t spit in my face and tell me it’s raining.”
“Children are a-holes who, when determined enough, won’t be deterred by conventional, traditional, or seemingly ‘normal’ names.” ~ nikkesen
“I live in South East Asia where the education system is built on standardized testing and everything needs forms to be submitted in at least duplicate.”
“Every year at my kid’s school, the list of students taking national exams is hung outside the admin office together with the new incoming class (grade 1 and freshman would be the US equivalent).”
“I judge the parents soooo hard because the trend seems to be who can give the longest name to the child.” ~ nomad_l17
“People forget that their kid is a whole separate human who will have to live with the consequences of their name.”
“It’s no secret that people with bizarre names are more likely to be bullied as children and passed over for professional jobs as adults.”
“Is it nice?”
“No, but it’s the world we live in, and it is selfish to set your kid up for that just so you can be ‘cool and edgy.'”
“Get a pet and name it something weird if you must, but don’t do it to a human.” ~ PandaEnthusiast89
“Yes. I’m not surprised u/Astute_Primate, and her their fellow teachers have noticed that this is a sign of difficult parents.”
“These are parents who took one of the first major decisions about their child’s future and made it all about themselves.”
“They want everyone to think how clever, and creative, and unique they are as parents.”
“They’re Not Like The Other Parents.”
“They’re too wrapped up in their own egos to realize that other people look at that and think they’re selfish a**holes.”
“Not only is that poor kid saddled with all the difficulties of that name, but she’s also going to be a broadcast warning to everyone who meets her that her parents are to be avoided.”
“OP: NTA. Thanks for fighting the good fight.” ~ FigNinja
“A thousand times this.”
“Don’t be cutesy with your children’s names.”
“If they (your children) decide they want a unique name when they’re older, then you can help pay for the name change.”
“With a strange name, like with the OP’s friend’s daughter, this poor girl is going to have to spell her name out whenever she says her name is Juliet.”
“She’s going to have to explain to people how to pronounce that awful spelling.”
“She’s going to have to put that on job applications.” ~ Frogsaysso
“I don’t have a weird name, just uncommon.”
“It’s also the simplest spelling it could be.”
“Every single time I give my name I immediately say ‘it’s like this common name but with an A’ because I know that they won’t get it right because they’ve most likely never heard it.”
“I still get all sorts of weird spellings and just flat-out incorrect names.”
“This is like a daily occurrence when I’m on coffee runs or making reservations.”
“Fortunately, I like my name, and it’s a mild annoyance.”
“This poor kid is going to have it SO MUCH WORSE!”
“Like she’s going to break down crying in a Starbucks someday because she just wants a damn frappuccino, and not a single person can get her name right or even say it.”
“Or she’ll just insist everyone calls her Gigi or something.” ~ Woodnote_
“I stopped using my name years ago.”
“I cringe when I hear it.”
“I still have a lot of built-up anger and resentment towards my parents for it.”
“It’s the biggest reason I don’t use social media or speak to many people from my past.”
“I hate my name so much I don’t want to be around anyone who associates me with this name.”
“OP, you did the right thing.”
“My mom swears up and down people tell her they ‘love my name.'”
“Yeah, right. She’s delusional.” ~ physhgyrl
“It doesn’t happen as much now that I am older, but my name is a somewhat common name that is part of a very common name, and people will usually add letters to my name.”
“Like Beth, but people call me Elizabeth.”
“I then have to correct them on it.”
“I can’t imagine having a name like that.”
“My kids have unusual names, but they aren’t a bast**dized version of another name that makes it difficult to figure out what the name actually is.”
“This is a horrible trend.”
“The best advice I ever got was to put M.D. behind the name and base it on how professional it sounds.”
“People can be jerks; don’t give your kid a name a future employer is going to judge them on.” ~ Stormy261
“This. My mom named me Mandy because she figured people would call me that if she named me Amanda anyway and an M name went better with our last name.”
“People continuously called/call me Amanda anyway and my name is common as hell.”
“I can’t even imagine how this kid will be irked and screwed over down the road.”
“OP’s friend is just out here making it abundantly clear her child is some vanity accessory and she doesn’t actually give a rat’s a** about what she’s going to put that kid through growing up with that bulls**t name.”
“OP’s soooo NTA, they seem to care more about the kid’s future than her parents do.” ~ PennsylvaniaDutchess
OP came back with an Update…
“Alright, I get it.”
“For some, I’m a **shole for going after the Name more than once.”
“Sorry for that, lmao.”
“I just sent her an apology text for doing it, yet I did write how she should try to look at it from another perspective.”
“I also sent a few screenshots of the comments just for her to see what other people think of it.”
“FYI I’m supposed to be the godmother, which is why I was extra worried lmao… my bad.”
And then…
“Hello again. I’ve been asked if there are any updates, and yes, there are!”
“So I’ve been talking with Loreen a lot (over text), and she’s slowly starting to notice her ‘mistake.'”
“I apologized again, and we are good again.”
“We talked about the name and she told me that she won’t change it and really loves it, but is slowly understanding why it’s weird for others, especially me.”
“Her husband, on the other hand, is still pretty mad at me.”
“He thinks that I took it too far and that my apologies aren’t from the heart 🤷♀️.”
“I’ve been asked if I’m still the godmother, and yes, I am.”
“There were thoughts of changing it, but now that we get along again, I’m back in the role.”
“Back to the husband: He blocked me everywhere and is telling Loreen to do so, too, because he thinks I’m manipulating and lying just so we can get close again.”
“Doesn’t make sense. I don’t know.”
“Well, either way, it’s getting better with the relationship, just not with the name.”
Well, OP, Reddit was with you.
In the end, it’s their child.
You’re allowed to have an opinion, but opinions come with consequences.
Hopefully, this will all end peacefully for all.