There are just some life events family is not supposed to miss.
But it happens.
And who is expected to not have hurt feelings?
Case in point…
Redditor weddinggifted wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for not taking down my video that was a gift from my best man?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I have a sister that’s 6 years older than me.”
“My parents for years cancel on me last minute because of my sister.”
“I have a basketball game…”
“OPs sorry sister doesn’t feel like going out.”
“I am graduating… OPs sorry sister had a bad day at work.”
“They have missed both major and smaller events in my life because of her meltdowns.”
“I met the love of my life.”
“We decided to tie the knot.”
“From the beginning, I told my parents how I am worried my sister will ruin another special moment in my life.”
“My mom told me over and over again it would not happen.”
“The day of my wedding.”
“I received a voicemail from my mom saying they couldn’t come because my sister’s dog was sick and she was upset.”
“I was hurt, my best man however is a jokester.”
“He took my phone then went to my fiancé and asked if he could post a video of our wedding as a gift?”
“On social media. She loved his idea.”
“I had no idea about it until I came home.”
“Our honeymoon was at a lakeside cabin. No cell service.”
“The post caption was ‘My best friend.'”
“‘He is an amazing person even if his parents NEVER showed up for him.'”
“Video was still pictures of us next to her parents, me on the dance floor, cutting the cake.”
“Where you would normally see both parents in wedding pictures.”
“The sound behind the video was my mom’s voicemail explaining how they couldn’t come because my sister’s dog was sick.”
“I came home a week later to hundreds of messages.”
“Family members from both sides insisting I take it down.”
“I was told my sister hasn’t stopped crying.”
“My mom is refusing to leave the house.”
“I may be the AH here.”
“I didn’t take it down when I got my messages.”
“I didn’t call my family back right away.”
“I waited until my vacation time was over at work and enjoyed my time with my wife. “
“In our new home. Before I contacted anyone.”
“My dad told me to take down the video.”
“It was ‘just a bad night for them.'”
“That they will make it up to me and my wife for not coming.”
“My reply was exactly how do you plan to ‘make up’ my wedding?”
“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing.”
“You choose to ignore my feelings on the whole matter.”
“Then he just repeated he will make it up to me.”
“I told him I would take down the video only when he made up missing my wedding.”
“Flustered we both hung up the phone before we both said things we shouldn’t have.”
“I could have just taken down the video.”
“Am I the AH here?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. The truth hurts sometimes and your parents and sister just got whammied!”
“Your friend is AWESOME. Please leave the video up!” ~ SnazzySusieQ
“Seconded! Your friend didn’t manipulate their words, your parents would have nothing to cry about if they hadn’t done anything wrong!”
“They skipped your wedding with one seriously pathetic excuse, let them feel the effects of that.” ~ BellesNoir
“Your friend is the true MVP in this story.”
“OP keep that video up until the end of time.”
“Your parents need to be reminded just how much they failed you and favored your sister.”
“Your family doesn’t like it, lucky for you, you just married into a new one. NTA.” ~ notsosimpleandsweet
“Because the dog was sick, seriously… Wow.”
“I guess the dog really needed the support of three people while he was taking a dump.”
“Also, being embarrassed by their crappy behavior is exactly how OP’s mom and sister should feel.”
“I really don’t get how a mother treats her unfavorite child so badly. NTA.” ~ gordito_delgado
“RIGHT!? Look, I’m very thoroughly an animal lover.”
“Many pets of various species, pet sitter, fosterer, etc.”
“If my parents even HINTED at skipping an event for my siblings because I was sad/dealing with a pet I would be LIVID and kick them out to go support my sibling.”
“I’d really love to see how old sister is, but honestly even if she’s 4 why couldn’t one parent stay with her and the other attend???”
“If she’s an adult? Serious side-eye to the parents who raised her and enabled her into this level of self-absorption.”
“It’s also very interesting how she’s suddenly in need of attention for OPs every milestone.” ~ Librarycat77
“OP should stick to his word and take the video down when the parents make it up to him for missing his wedding.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s going to be impossible.”
“And I’m not sure I can think of anything that would actually make up for it.”
“But his father seems to think it’s doable so he should be perfectly fine with it.” ~ Astra_Trillian
“NTA. They were finally called out on their blatant favoritism and they obviously didn’t take it well.”
“I’d hold off inviting them anywhere or to anything, OP.”
“At least for a while.”
“Don’t make them your first priority when you clearly aren’t theirs.”
“Focus on your new wife and your absolutely awesome best friend.”
“They both sound like keepers!” ~ Pinetree218
“NTA – I know right??”
“Man that was icing on the cake and where I lost it was when I read that the voicemail played in the background, freaking genius!”
“Dude OP, live your life with your wife and their family: sounds like you don’t need that unsupportive negativity in your life!”
“It hurts more because it’s family obviously, unfortunately, but look at the positives: everyone showed you what their priorities were that day (and others).”
“I wouldn’t be leaping to include them in the rest of my life if I were you.” ~ mr_remy
“So, typically, when someone asks you to take down a video of them because it’s embarrassing, you do it because it’s polite.”
“But in this case? Hard NTA.”
“They didn’t have a good reason to miss it, and they’re rightfully mortified.”
“They made the bed, they can lie in it.” ~ NotTwitchy
“NTA. It was ‘just a bad night,’ out of many, many other ‘bad nights’ where they ignored you in favor of your sister’s whims.”
“See if your best man can pull up footage of your graduation.”
“And maybe pictures from games they missed, and produce a ‘greatest hits’ compilation video to post right next to the wedding video.” ~ big_bob_c
“NTA. Every single person at your wedding saw that they didn’t show up.”
‘So, what exactly are they hoping to hide by taking it down?”
“If they felt justified not coming, stand by that decision, defend it.”
“If you can’t, then you KNOW you did something wrong.”
“They deserve it. They can’t make up for missing your wedding for no good reason.” ~ Sel-Reddit
“There are legitimate reasons for missing your kid’s wedding.”
“Anthrax exposure, caught in a hurricane, deathly ill due to rabid weasel bite.”
“Your favorite child’s pet being sick is not one of them.”
“They were hoping to hide the fact that they’re garbage parents who don’t love their child.”
“Thanks to the greatest friend ever, that’s no longer possible.” ~ HardRainisFalling
“Personally before going no contact.”
“I would make a list of every event and big moment they missed along with the excuse they gave OP and show them and ask when and how will the parents ever make up for it all.”
“But I admit to being petty and willing to go scorched Earth.” ~ StylishMrTrix
“NTA is your sister developmentally disabled in any way?”
“Is this a diagnosed mental issue?” ~ ZestyShoePrint
OP responded…
“No she is just super spoiled.”
“She cries on demand.”
“Big crocodile tears whenever she doesn’t get her way.”
“Or when she isn’t in the spotlight.”
“My wife thinks my sister did this because she asked her own sisters to be bridesmaids and not my sister.”
“My sister has done it so many times I think she is just jealous I got married.”
Reddit continued…
“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that.”
“You deserve to be celebrated.”
“If you and your wife do a vow renewal in ten years and your parents make it to that then I would consider taking the video down if I were you.”
“Congrats on the marriage.” ~ ZestyShoePrint
“NTA – They weren’t bothered about missing your wedding.”
“They were bothered they got exposed.”
“If exposing their behavior bothered them, they knew what they did was awful.” ~ wehav2
Well OP, this is a crappy situation.
So sorry you had to endure this heartache.
Hopefully one day you can all find a way to a better place.
Congratulations.