Even the most adventurous eaters have certain foods they tend to resist when offered.
Certain people, however, are such picky eaters that they refuse to try foods that are unfamiliar to them.
With some even eating the same exact thing every day.
The boyfriend of Redditor makeme_f4f_pdx fell into the latter category.
This was somewhat of a problem for the original poster (OP), as they were a bit more adventurous eaters. With this in mind, the OP seriously questioned if their boyfriend fit in with some of their upcoming plans.
Wondering if they would be wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not letting my boyfriend come on vacation with me because he’s a picky eater?”
The OP explained why they didn’t think bringing their boyfriend on their upcoming vacation was a good idea:
“My boyfriend has tons of food restrictions and is picky in general.”
“He basically can only eat chicken fingers, grilled cheese, Mac and cheese, and pad Thai.”
“I’ve never seen him eat a vegetable.”
“We just started dating a few months ago, and I love him, but I eat everything and am very laid back.”
“I know I will have to plan my entire day around finding food he can eat, on top of listening to him complain that things aren’t the same.”
“Even if a restaurant does have chicken fingers or Mac and cheese, it won’t be the same as what we get at home, and I just don’t want to hear about it while Im on vacation.
“AITA? I feel bad.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community mostly agreed that the OP would not be the a**hole for not including their boyfriend on their vacation:
Many agreed that if the OP’s boyfriend was going to complicate the OP’s vacation to the point that they would no longer enjoy it, then they definitely shouldn’t include them, with some even wondering if this relationship was even compatible:
“NTA.”
“Told myself NEVER again with the picky eaters after dating a chicken finger man lol.”
“Somehow, it will always be you who is expected to plan the meals, too.”
“I understand not liking some things, but unless this is medical/allergies, there’s a point where this is just stuck up and annoying as a fully grown man.”- Savvy-Snail4112
“‘He basically can only eat chicken fingers, grilled cheese, Mac and cheese, and pad Thai’.”
“He *can* only eat those things, or he will only eat those things?”
“I have a friend with an unusual disease such that she literally can only eat three things, but that’s a fair cry from being a super picky eater who *will* only eat a few things.”
“Assuming from your description that this is a pickiness issue, not a health issue, I wouldn’t take him with me either.”
“He would definitely bring down your enjoyment in the trip.”
“NTA.”- WestCovina1234
“NTA.”
“But I would reconsider the relationship in your shoes unless you want this to be your life forever, always planning around the five foods he’ll eat.”- nuggets256
“NTA.”
“As someone who has ARFID, I do my best to never make my issues with food someone else’s problem.”
“I will either find something on the menu that I think I can tolerate, or I will eat something that I know I like later.”
“I don’t let it hold my partner back from trying new things when we travel.”
“I would NEVER whine about my safe foods not being available, especially in a completely different country!”- takethepain-igniteit
“NTA.”
“I wouldn’t want it deal with that and I find that level of food pickiness a huge turnoff in general.”- Glittering_Joke3438
“OP no picky eater wants to be like this – it will probably be a huge source of shame for him, not being able to eat normal things, and will likely take years of therapy to work through it.”
“You’re NTA for not wanting to deal with this, but you might just be incompatible if it’s such a deal breaker for you.”
“You shouldn’t be with this man if you’re so ashamed of this part of him, that’s not good for either of you.”- CaptnCocnuts
Some, however, didn’t think there was anything wrong with the OP being a picky eater, even if they still didn’t think it was wrong for the OP not to include him on their vacation:
“NAH.”
“His preferences are very limiting and you are not his parent.”
“These aren’t allergies or digestion-altering sensitivities, it’s a restrictive diet based on food he knows he enjoys and it sounds like he’s not interested in trying new things.”
“But you may want to consider the future of the relationship unless he can manage his diet without whining.”
“It’s likely not just during the vacation that it will annoy you.”
“Enjoy your holiday though, it sounds amazing.”- Sudden-Draft-887
“He’s prob undiagnosed neurodivergent, ocd, or has food-related trauma.”
“There are lots of reasons why people struggle with foods.”
“You can choose to opt out of his company on your holiday or his companionship entirely if it is a problem for you.”
“That’s so understandable.”
“But.. the bulk of commenters here don’t have to judge him quite so harshly.”
“It should absolutely be a dealbreaker to have your enjoyment of a foodie holiday ruined (completely relatable to me, food tourist and gregarious palate) but why ‘letting’ him come on holiday?”
“Why ‘childish habits’ and not? “We talked about it like adults and can both agree that he has comfort needs that will be extremely difficult to meet in this locale, so he is staying home for this one, BUT in August, we are going to Vegas together!”?”
“Why ‘he needs to grow up’ like he is deficient or broken?”
“So I guess it’s NAH for me, unless you are a jerk about it.”
“It would be nice if you were going to end it for you to come to it from a less judgemental place.”
“If your lifestyles or needs or future hopes don’t align because of his food issues, that’s 100% OK, and frankly, this is a good time to find that out!”
“But his restrictions are almost certainly not a choice he is making, or at least not one he is aware he is making- and will prob require support and therapy to overcome.”
“However you decide, good luck with it and enjoy Turkey I am SO jealous!”
“Ugh eat everything twice plz.”- The-Oxrib-and-Oyster
“NAH at this stage.”
“People are allowed to be picky or have food restrictions for any reason, but it’s not okay for that to control everyone else’s shared experiences.”
“But this is hypothetical.”
“Don’t take him with you and if how he handles it is to make his food someone else’s responsibility then I would advise ending it now.”
“Having food restrictions that you take full ownership of managing is one thing.”
“Controlling and ruining everyone else’s diverse eating experiences and enjoyment of these is not ok.”- lobsterp0t
While others had trouble sympathizing with anyone, feeling the OP’s boyfriend needed to broaden his horizons, but that his picky eating also shouldn’t be a dealbreaker for him to join the OP on their vacation:
“ESH.”
“You ‘love him’ but want to leave him behind because he annoys you, and you snidely insult his chosen foods here to strangers.”
“It’s clear you wish he were different and find him embarrassing.”
“So why are you staying with him instead of putting him down and leaving him out of situations where you think he’ll embarrass and annoy you?”
“He’s one too because that is a very limited diet, and you are suggesting he doesn’t handle it well — no attempts at anything else, and complaining if the world doesn’t produce what he wants.”
“He needs to take some responsibility for his limitations: try to stretch them by trying new things sometimes, accommodate them by packing his safe foods and taking supplements to help him stay healthy, get with a therapist to find out why he is so restricted in diet, and to stop complaining to others about not bringing catered to.”- quats555
The OP later returned, sharing an update as to where things currently stood between her and her boyfriend:
“I am breaking up with him.”
“After seeing a glimpse into my future via your responses, I realized I cannot do this, and it will eventually wreck us.”
“Thank you.”- makeme_f4f_pdx
If there’s one thing everyone deserves the right to be picky about, it’s the partner they plan on spending the rest of their lives with.
All it can take is one tiny thing to make it clear that a relationship isn’t going to work.
In the case of the OP, that would seem to be having an adventurous palette.