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Woman Won’t Host Sister’s Baby ‘Sprinkle’ After Guests Ruined Her Garden At Gender Reveal

women at baby shower
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Sibling rivalries can either be discouraged or enabled by parents. There are healthy rivalries in life—around inherently competitive activities like sports.

But siblings constantly pitted against each other is toxic. There’s always a winner and a loser.

A self-described black sheep in a rivalry with the golden child turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Broken_Angel729 asked:

“AITA for not hosting a party for my sisters baby sprinkle after my home was damaged by her gender reveal party?”

The original poster (OP) explained:

“I (36, female) have a sister (34) that is calling me selfish and rude for not allowing her to have her baby sprinkle at my home. She lives in a small 2 bedroom apartment so she doesn’t have the room.”

“A baby sprinkle is when you’re having a second baby. It’s a smaller version of a baby shower to just help with a few smaller newer items.”

“For some background, my sister and I have a love-hate relationship. She is my mother’s golden child.”

“I do not get along with my mother, but that’s for a whole other post. My sister always had things handed to her and due to that she has become entitled.”

I have always been the black sheep because I don’t give her want she wants the way everyone else does.”

“Now to the point of this post.”

“My husband and I have opened our home for parties and gatherings for friends and family. Events such as our kid’s birthday parties to hosting a surprise engagement for 2 of our friends to allowing my sister to use it as a ‘hall’ for her gender reveal last month.”

“The issue is that after the reveal I realized that he r guests broke my vegetable garden box by sitting on it, allowed their kids to mess up my garden, and left a mess in my house. My husband and I decided that was the last time.”

“Jump to today. My sister wants to have her sprinkle at my home once she found out I wasn’t paying for her to have it anywhere else due to funds.”

“Which kinda pissed me off. So in her mind I won’t pay for her and her guests to eat and be merry somewhere else, so she can use my house to have it knowing the kind of host I am.”

“When I told her no, that my house was not an option, she started being nasty to me. Telling me that I was punishing her for others’ actions and that she’s my sister and it’s not right.”

“She went as far as trying to guilt me by saying that I don’t care about her and the baby and for me to have a good life. I’m stressing her out.”

“And she regrets asking me and this is why she doesn’t ask for help. She doesn’t want to understand my feelings and reasons. 

“So am I wrong for not wanting a bunch of people here again that disrespected my home before?”

The OP summed up their situation.

“I refused to host and pay for my sister’s baby sprinkle because the guests from her last party she asked to have at my house caused damage.”

“She thinks that I am punishing her for their actions.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

“NTA. Shine up your spine girl. You have been trained your whole life that ‘golden girl’ is to get what she asks for.”

“It is YOUR HOME, YOURS, not your sister’s party hall. And she says you have to because you won’t pay for a venue‽‽ Heck NO. Your home, your rules.”

“If she didn’t jump to help take care of the damages, then she is no longer entitled to EVEN ASK to use your HOME. And the guilting just shows that she knows how to push your buttons to get her own way.”

Oh, and WTF Is she even doing? Demanding you pay for a venue or let her use your HOME when she already got you to up for the reveal‽‽”

“Sounds like ‘golden girl’ is using baby to milk you and everybody else for everything they can get.” ~ SeamStressed1

“NTA—good for you, standing up and putting yourself before GG (golden girl). She can make other arrangements and will either get over this or not.”

“One of my siblings kept bringing up having holiday events at my home, and I would either walk away or change the subject. When I refused to engage her, she finally gave up.” ~ Shutupandplayball

“Yes, she’s your sister…as you are her sister—yet she couldn’t care less that your vegetable garden you painstakingly created and nourished was destroyed. Sisterhood works both ways. NTA.” ~ sundaymusings

“NTA. They act like you are the black sheep because you are rocking the boat. Maybe it’s time to go low contact with her.”

“I learned that life can be so much better when you hold entitled people at arm’s length away. Saying no will be easier every time after you see through their bullsh*t.”

“Stay strong and defend your own home. She can rent a venue or try to strongarm someone else into submission.”

“You are showing your spine, and now it’s time to polish and strengthen it with steel and chrome!” ~ UnhappyCryptographer

“Listen, you have to stand up for yourself because she’s the golden child. I’m speaking from experience, because at some point it’s really going to stick.”

“Because no matter what you do or what you achieve, the one that’s going to be getting the support, the money, the help, etc… is going to be her. At least in my experience the only thing you’re going to have in your life is what you earn regarding your family.”

“Any possible inheritances, gifts, mementos, recognition and the like is only going to come from yourself except for those rare gifts ‘to show you how much you matter’ when guilt strikes your mom or other family members.”

“NTA. Tell her to have her gift grab somewhere else, but make sure your husband’s fully on board because he has to help you break those lifetime habits trying to satisfy other people.” ~ krakh3d

“NTA—why on earth would you loan her your home or pay for a venue? It’s HER baby, she can pay and organise it! I’d be slowly evicting myself from her entitled life.” ~ dracona

“Honestly, the less time you spend with your family, the more time you can put into building a community that supports you and doesn’t expect you to always serve your sister. NTA.” ~ Office_Desk906

“My sister asked me to host her shower for baby #2. I live across the country now & didn’t mind.”

“She adamantly refused to give me addresses to send invitations, wouldn’t provide me with any guest info or what her nursery theme was, wanted it to be held at an upscale restaurant because she lived in a 600sqft 2 bedroom house. You can imagine the list goes on.”

“I put the deposit down for the weekend she wanted, got my plane tickets for me & my kids and then she tells me she no longer wants me to host and her bff/frenemy was doing it for her. I canceled everything, and she flipped her absolute sh*t, and we stopped talking.”

“Mom received an invitation a couple days later from the frenemy and sat in my kitchen—I moved to live close to my parents shortly after they moved—and told me, ‘you know how your sister is… you should have just paid for the venue & maybe Teresa would have told Ashley to invite you…’.”

“NTA—it’s ok to say no! Golden children can learn to handle rejection, too. And parents can suck.” ~ ExIsATool

The OP provided an update.

“First, I want to thank everyone for their comments and support. If feels wonderful to have you all behind me on this.”

“Well where to start. My sister has gone to my whole family regarding this matter and twisted it. I am so not shocked about this.”

“Yesterday was her and her husbands 1 year wedding anniversary. I sent them a group text (I have no issues with him) and surprise, he was the only one that responded.”

“I was talking to family regarding this and found out a few more things. She thinks that because she helped me co-sign a loan for me to get a new water heater, she should be allowed to have her party at my house.”

“Yes, I know I had to finance my water heater, which sucks, but when you have two kids and your savings took a hit due to car repairs, you do what ya gotta do. But that alone gives her the thought that she should get what she wants.”

“I put a group message out to my family about my son’s senior prom and that we are doing pictures. Even though I am not speaking with them, my son has a right to have them there and take a wild guess.”

“No response. If she takes this out on my son then that will forever be the end of our relationship.”

“I did cut ties with her a few years back because of this and over time she changed, but now has gone back to her true colors.”

“After this I am back to cutting her off, which hurts because I am so close with her first and she is the type to not let me see him because she and I aren’t speaking.”

“I had cut my mother out of my life almost a year ago. I will say it’s the greatest thing I have ever done.”

It seems like there’s a lot of scorekeeping going on here.

Maybe these sisters taking a break from each other isn’t such a bad idea.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metís Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. A member of the Indigenous Journalists Association, she considers herself another proud Maineiac.