Maintaining a healthy relationship with one's neighbors can be a challenge.
It is for this reason that many people only make contact with their neighbors when absolutely necessary.
As sometimes, even the tiniest, most inconsequential things could result in an eternal grudge with one's neighbors.
One we're reminded of every time we see them.
The neighbors of Redditor Ambitious-Divide-624 recently paid a visit, asking a favor of the original poster (OP)
A favor the OP was unwilling to oblige, not out of malice, but out of concern.
Even so, the OP's neighbor did not appreciate this decision, even going so far as to accuse the OP of "withholding happiness from her son".
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for NOT bringing my indoor cat outside to meet the neighbor's kid?"
The OP explained why they, and their cat, set their neighbors off:
"I 22F still live in my parent's home."
"I'm about to graduate and have an agreement to be here, so I can (hopefully) pay off a chunk of my student loans."
"Anyway, I have my own cat, her name is Lily."
"She's very sweet, but it solely indoors."
"She's also very skittish."
"About 3 years ago, we got new neighbors."
"Millennial couple with young kids."
"The oldest, is probably around 4 now."
"My cat's favorite spot in the house is in a sunroom that faces the neighbor's yard."
"Very big windows."
"These neighbors also have 2 huskies, who often get out of their yard and end up in the street (or in our yard)."
"Lily loves watching 'stalking' the dogs and I guess overtime the little boy noticed."
"So the other day I came home and the mom, Jessica, (fake name) approached me."
"Asked if I could bring my cat outside to meet her son."
"Jessica doesn't know that it is just 'my' cat, but she probably asked me because it's a ridiculous request to ask, and figured that I'd say yes."
"Obviously, I said no and that Lily was an indoor cat and doesn't like strangers and I wasn't sure how she'd react to her son."
"Jessica then asked if they could come inside....completely ignoring the part about Lily not liking strangers."
"I said I wouldn't be comfortable with that either, because it's technically not my house."
"At this point the boy came out and was upset he couldn't meet the cat."
"So I showed him some videos and offered to bring Lily to the window."
"This wasn't good enough and Jessica told me that it was 'wrong to withhold happiness from her son'."
"Ever since, my whole family gets death glares from her and she has been posting on the neighborhood Facebook page that our association should ban cats."
"Nobody is talking her seriously because her dogs always escape."
"I do feel bad, because the kid really was sad."
"But also, the mom is really overreacting."
"So AITA for not bringing my cat outside to meet the neighbors kid?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community overwhelmingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to bring her cat outside to meet her neighbor's son.
Everyone agreed that the OP was not "withholding happiness" from anyone, and that the OP's neighbor needed to teach her son that he couldn't always get what he wants:
"NTA."
"What an unhinged woman."
"No is a complete sentence and your cat is not a toy."- Saffron-Kitty
"NTA but let your parents know."
"Their child's whim of wanting to meet the cat does not overrule the healthy and safety of the cat."- javel1
"Definitely NTA but it’s gonna be fun to watch Jessica every time someone dares to 'withhold happiness' from her little cherub."-Relative_Bluejay6694
“'Wrong to withhold happiness from her son' …"
"Your kid isn’t the main character of the universe, he has to learn no."
"NTA."- Sea_Roof3637
"NTA."
"And Lily thanks you."
"She doesn't wanna meet him."
"She's seen enough from the window."
"Thanks."- ChocLotInvestor
"NTA."
"Entitled adults raise entitled kids."
"The kid would have handled it better if she bothered to explain that kitty is scared."
"Unlike dogs, cats enforce boundaries when their consent is not respected."
"I doubt she would have been happier if her kid got swiped with claws for ignoring your cat’s warnings."- dogatthewheel
"No, you are NTA."
"That is ridiculous lol, you are allowed to have boundaries just like everyone else."
"Also, you are not responsible to give her son happiness."
"NTA."- ComfortableTour7311
"NTA at all."
"What part of 'my cat doesn't like strangers' did your neighbor didn't get?"
"Or the world turns around her family only?"- Odd_Tea4945
"NTA, she's being weird about it."
"Bringing the cat to the window was a nice compromise."
"Imagine the tantrum she'd throw if you brought her son in to meet the cat and she bit and scratched him."
"If she hasn't kept cats and hasn't introduced her son to cats before, it's unlikely that he understands that cats and dogs usually need to be approached differently."
"Playful energy that dogs love can freak cats out, especially if they're already skittish."
"Maybe emphasize that you didn't want to risk the kid getting scratched."- dorkysomniloquist
"NTA."
"Her kid isn't entitled to meet your cat."
"Sorry it makes him sad but consider it his first lesson in not always getting what you want."
"Don't feel bad, you're just looking out for your cat."- whataf*cker91
"NTA and I think i'd be posting it is a pity other people can't trust their pets outside due to large, out of control dogs."- Timely_Egg_6827
"NTA oh my god."
"The mom is such an entitled AH."
"No one is entitled to other people’s animals or property."
"Also her complaining about how cats should be banned (Lily isn’t a problem, she’s INSIDE your house) when her dogs are a huge problem is outrageous."- Pink_lime1210
"NTA."
"Not wanting to bring your indoor cat outside is completely reasonable."
"As for the not reacting well to strangers, you know your cat best."
"No means no."
"They should've been happy you were willing to share videos and pictures."- AgentFrogFace
"Of course you're NTA."
"Mom needs to accept that the rest of the world doesn't owe her kid 'happiness' and that he's going to not get what he wants in life many, many times."
"You protected your cat."
"That's your job."
"Mom's job is to teach kid how to handle disappointment."
"You're doing yours, she's not doing hers. Ignore mom."
"Although HOAs can be stupid, I very much doubt anyone else is falling for her nonsense and you have nothing to worry about."- Puppylover10002
"WTF?"
"Obviously NTA."
"Say you did bring your cat outside."
"She'd most likely become spooked, claw you in her struggle to escape the situation, and run off."
"Then you'd have to deal with the panic and heartache of trying to find your missing, terrified cat."
"Absolutely not."
"You and your baby deserve better."- PuzzledKumquat
"NTA - but the mom is."
"It’s not someone else’s responsibility to provide for her kids happiness."
"She could also use this to teach him about consent and how people don’t have to do what you ask just because you want it."
"But instead she’s likely teaching her kid to be as entitled as she is."
"Going on Facebook to complain about you and your cat indirectly is also prime Karen behavior."- Vyckerz
"NTA."
"Is she stupid?"
"Is this her first day on earth?"
"Your cat lives indoors and is not a fan of strangers."
"You're not withholding anything, and she's wildin."- ranselita
"NTA."
"I'm so dumbfounded by people's reactions/behaviors when they're told 'No'."
"No means no."
"And when they get nasty, my next step would be along the lines of 'f*ck off'."
"But, I'm older, and I don't have patience for the entitled brats anymore."- phyrre58
"NTA."
"She's entitled."
"Also beware the HOA."- Blavkh
"NTA."
"She is very entitled."
"She needs to teach her kid they don't get everything they want."
"My oldest is 3 and I would never dream of asking that."
"I would say the cat stays in their home and we can wave theough the window."
"Child needs to learn boundaries."- axels_mom
"NTA."
"My child LOVES cats, and I would never expect them to be entitled to meeting anyone’s pet."
"Especially since you said that your cat isn’t good with strangers."
"Cat bites and scratches can be very serious."
"Not putting a child in that situation is more than fair."- crimpgirl1234
Had the OP's cat been an outdoor cat that liked people, chances are they would have probably introduced their neighbor and her son to their cat.
Nor did the OP say no out of malice; they were instead protecting both their cat and their neighbor's son.
Seeing that this neighbor's oft-escaping dogs continue to be a problem, one imagines she might eventually come to understand the OP's decision.















Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.