Pet allergies are especially difficult.
It’s unfortunate because animals bring enormous joy to many.
But for others, it’s a ton of sneezing, itching and hives.
Sometimes, there is not enough Zyrtec in the world to combat cat dander.
Redditor Serious_Reaction6980 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for refusing to house-sit for my friend after I found out they got a cat?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (28 M[ale]) agreed to house-sit for my friend Alex (30 M) while they went on a week-long vacation.”
“Alex has a dog that I’ve always loved, and I thought it would be nice to help them out.”
“I even took some time off work to make sure I could give the dog plenty of attention.”
“A few days before Alex left, I went over to get the house keys and a rundown of what needed to be done.”
“That’s when Alex casually mentioned, ‘Oh, by the way, we got a cat!’”
“This caught me off guard because I’m very allergic to cats.”
“Alex knows this—I’ve had to leave gatherings early before because of my allergies.”
“I asked why they hadn’t told me earlier, and Alex said they forgot because they’d only had the cat for about a month.”
“I told Alex I couldn’t stay in their house if they had a cat.”
“Even if I avoided it, the dander would still trigger my allergies.”
“I suggested they ask someone else or hire a sitter.”
“Alex got defensive, saying I was leaving them in a lurch right before their trip.”
“I felt bad, but I didn’t think it was fair for Alex to spring this on me last minute.”
“I offered to check in on the dog daily (if they could isolate the cat in another room), but Alex said that wouldn’t work.”
“They ended up scrambling to find someone else and left for their trip angry at me.”
“A mutual friend later told me I should’ve sucked it up for a week because Alex really needed the break and probably just forgot to mention the cat.”
“I’m starting to feel like I might’ve overreacted.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. I also have allergies to cat dander.”
“I can tolerate the neighbor’s cat that comes over and visits outside, but NOT in the house.”
“They have had the cat for a month, its hair and dander are everywhere.”
“They were not planning to make an effort to clean a space for you where the cat was not allowed.”
“Your friend who is saying you should have sucked it up for a week obviously has no idea what it’s like to have streaming eyes and nose, swollen face, and not able to breathe.”
“They knew for a month before bothering to tell you. They found someone else to do it, so any issues are on Alex and his family.” ~ ArreniaQ
“I have had this happen to me exactly when visiting a friend and their cat.”
“Other friends, if given a fair warning, I can tolerate a cat if I take allergy medicine a week or two before I visit and if they have HEPA filters, but this was a random visit for an hour, and I lived with the cat beforehand when it was a kitten.”
“Turns out kittens don’t create as much dander as adult cats and my friend didn’t run air filters or dust their home (I’m allergic to dust too) so over the course of an hour, my throat slowly closed up.”
“Luckily I left before it could get worse (and I didn’t drive luckily) but it took me days to fully recover.”
“Allergies are no joke.” ~ geenersaurus
“Exactly and Alex wasn’t even going to let OP himself OP found out ONLY cause they went to check out the house before the trip and how can they forget to mention it for 1 month probably knew OP would say no.” ~ Jaded-Lemon8415
“You do NOT suck up to allergies of any kind.”
“That sort of s**t can escalate quickly. NTA.” ~ tango421
“My dog and cat allergies got better with exposure (they weren’t horrible to begin with, though); my shellfish allergy, on the other hand… not so much!”
“I concur OP is NTA.”
“I believe the friends that they forgot, but that doesn’t change the situation that they did know OP was severely allergic and so should have understood the difficult situation their forgetfulness caused for themselves.” ~ slash_networkboy
“99% sure they didn’t tell you on purpose.”
“They figured that you’d cave in at the last minute. NTA.” ~ Aylauria
“I’m not allergic, and he is absolutely the AH.”
“I had a week-long trip right after we got our cat and felt awful for leaving my spouse and kids with him so soon alone.”
“It was fine but still.”
“These are not friends, and health always beats vacation sitting!” ~ Momof41984
“I had some ex-friends who I was going to visit for a weekend who lived 3 hours from me.”
“When I turned up I discovered that they had just bought two cats about 2 months before.”
“They admitted that they didn’t tell me because they knew I was allergic and I wouldn’t have stayed with them if I’d known.”
“I didn’t even have any anti-histamines with me because I wasn’t expecting cats.”
“It felt like such a violation of trust.” ~ TheCorgitron300
“I went and looked at a pup that I specifically said I wasn’t going to come home with (I’d already made the commitment to go meet him and didn’t want to cancel) and put a post on Facebook that said, ‘told my grandma today before I left to go look at a pup that I wasn’t going to come home with him no matter what… so it was extra embarrassing when I called her to tell her that he was a really nice pup… but she was gonna see that when I got home’ before I even got home.”
“OP, you’re NTA.”
“I can almost promise you they purposely didn’t tell you because they knew you’d back out and rightfully so.”
“Allergies are nothing to mess with).” ~ Anxious_Appy92
“NTA. Severe allergies are no joke!”
“Your friend should not be expecting you to endanger your life to house-sit for them, especially when that part was sprung on you with so little warning.”
“Make no mistake, that’s what they’re asking for if you have serious allergies – sustained contact with a severe allergen can cause anaphylaxis.”
“They made a pretty major change to the conditions of your agreement by getting the cat, so they have no one to blame but themselves.” ~ KaliTheBlaze
“I thought OP was going to say he didn’t like cats but allergies, there’s no getting around that.”
“I find it really weird the friend ‘forgot’ for a whole month that they have a cat.”
“Even if he forgot when initially asking, at no point preparing for the trip leading up did he or his wife think, forgot to say anything about the cat, let me shoot him a text real quick.”
“I think the friend actually forgot about OP’s allergy; I didn’t think informing him about the cat was a big deal since he already agreed to watch the dog. NTA.” ~ SnooMacarons4844
“NTA. Anyone who tells you to ‘suck it up’ when it comes to an allergy isn’t someone worth keeping around.” ~ Full_Pace7666
“NTA – everyone telling you to ‘suck it up’ is.”
“My brother has a pretty severe pet allergy – both dogs and cats.”
“When my family helped me move across the country, he wasn’t able to stay with us because the couch we had at the time was from a home with a dog and cat. “
“The allergens were too much, and we didn’t make it through the first night before my mom, and I got so afraid for his safety that my mom shelled out a few hundred for a hotel room.”
“They just came back to stay with me for the first time since then.”
“I have spent the 4 months since the trip was planned to try to reduce the allergens in the house.”
“I threw out our couch and bought a new one.”
“I bought allergens reducer sprays for fabric AND two for the cats.”
“I bought him an air mattress, bed sheets, and a pillow that I kept sealed until he used them.”
“The day before they arrived we bathed the cats and covered them in allergen reducers and vacuumed/dusted EVERYTHING and washed every linen.”
“He still had mild allergies but he was able to stay with us for five days without issue.”
“We took it this seriously because ALLERGIES ARE SERIOUS!!”
“If you hadn’t known, you COULD have had a serious reaction the first day if you were planning on staying there 24/7.”
“For someone to disregard a known allergy for their own benefit is vile.” ~ Main_Asparagus3375
“NTA. You’re allergic to cats!”
“Even worse… your friend knows about it!”
“They just tried to force your hand, thinking you wouldn’t back out at the last minute! “
“Stand your ground!” ~ CommunityDefiant4292
“NTA. I’m guessing since discovering this allergy, you haven’t spent multiple days in a home with a cat.”
“You have no idea how your body would respond to that.”
“It may not have been physically possible for you to do it.” ~ pottersquash
“NTA. Why have I seen so many allergy-related posts today?”
“If he knows that you’re allergic to cats and just told you right before they left, and then gets mad at you, just honestly ditch him.”
“Also, ditch your mutual friend that said to suck it up.”
“THAT’S NOT HOW F**KING ALLERGIES WORK!!” ~ lnsertRandomUsername
“NTA. You would have ‘sucked it up’ if you agreed to sit despite the cat.”
“Probably the last time in your life.”
“I’m so pissed at how people treat allergies.”
“It’s not just ‘some sneezing’ it’s our freaking body attacking itself because our immune system goes nuts.”
“Those friends are a-holes, OP.”
“Be careful with them, as even when they get back, they will be covered in your allergens and 100% be like: ‘Oh, c’mon, that’s just some hair! Don’t be dramatic!'” ~ Rare-Cheesecake9701
“He didn’t ‘forget’ to tell you – he told you last minute, hoping you’d feel bad enough not to pull out.”
“You were doing them a favor and instead of appreciating, they moved the goalposts with zero thought for you – and then had the audacity to be pi**y cause you won’t’ spend a week sneezing and itchy for the sake of their new cat.’
“Man – I hate people like this.”
“Selfish, self-centered, arrogant users.”
“NTA at all.” ~ didthefabrictear
“NTA. I have a friend with a serious cat allergy.”
“She masks up in our house and takes meds so she can stay for more than an hour (and we try to sweep up and keep a safe chair for her, etc).”
“No WAY could she care for our cats for a long period!”
“Now, maybe your friend did forget to mention it, but that’s ON THEM.”
“They changed the circumstances without informing you.”
“It made your agreement untenable, and they need to fix the problem they created.” ~ esmerelofchaos
“NTA. As someone with severe cat allergies, I immediately start sneezing and my eyes get irritated the moment I step into a household that has a cat.”
“It is not a pleasant experience.”
“Your friend should have notified you ahead of time.” ~ DirtyKoreanKush
“NTA. My roommate got a cat a few weeks ago.”
“We both dote on the cat every day.”
“I’ve told everyone I know about the cat.”
“I have a hard time believing your friends completely ‘forgot’ about the cat- something exciting novel like a new pet isn’t the kind of thing you forget about.”
“Regardless, you made the decision that was for your health.”
“You couldn’t watch the cat- it makes you have allergies.”
“It sucks they had to rush to find a new sitter, but they knowingly put themselves in that position.” ~ Kristina-Louise
“NTA. Alex isn’t a friend.”
“He knew about your allergy but figured if he didn’t tell you, then he’d be able to guilt trip you into it anyway.”
“He may have really needed the vacation, but you really need yourself in good physical health.”
“Alex and anyone who sides with him should be cut off.”
“When your health has no meaning to people, then you have no meaning except for how they can use you.” ~ wlfwrtr
“NTA. I have severe allergies, and friends know I will not pet sit unless, in the case of cats, it is to water, leave food, and change the litter box since cats are fairly low maintenance.”
“Since cats don’t require walks, etc.”
“It should be fine to check on them once or twice a day.” ~ SilverRoseBlade
“NTA… if your allergies are severe enough to leave events, she could not leave you there with a cat for days. That is insane.” ~ FairyFartDaydreams
“NTA. Your friend is not much of a friend and a huge jerk.” ~ SliceEquivalent825
Reddit is in agreement with your choice, OP.
You have to put your health first.
Allergies are no joke.
How does one just forget a new pet?
Alex should’ve told you sooner. This was his responsibility.