The gym is full of unwritten rules and expectations of polite conduct.
Wipe the machines down, don’t stare, be cool about the big wall mirror, don’t hog equipment, all of it is attached to some etiquette.
And for obvious reasons, phone use is a biggie.
A recent post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit showed just how big of a deal it is.
The Original Poster (OP), known as ConsequenceOutside64, titled the post with a somewhat provocative title.
“AITA for not letting a girl check my phone to make sure I wasn’t taking pics of her?”
OP began by providing the context of the interaction.
“I’m at the gym today and I’m walking towards an empty squat rack. 10 ft in front of, and 1 ft to the right of my rack is another rack that a girl (Belinda 20-year-old) is doing squats on.”
“While walking up I briefly noticed that her leggings are see-thru and when she bends down in her squats you can easily tell she’s also not wearing underwear.”
“Thats not my business, thats her choice. But it made me uncomfortable to take a rack that was kinda behind her.”
“I had been waiting my entire gym session for one of these racks to open up, and this was my last lift before leaving, so I went ahead and took it.”
OP did what he came to do.
“I went through my workout as normal. After every set I check my phone for 5-20 seconds.”
“I track every single set for every single lift in a spreadsheet to note how much I lifted and for how many reps.”
Sometimes I need to remind myself what I did last week to make sure I’m progressing. Sometimes I’m just checking the time. Sometimes I’m changing the song on my Spotify.”
“Tonight specifically, there was a very important basketball game being played so I wanted to keep up with the score. So I use my phone a lot at the gym.”
Then there was an unexpected development.
“I finished my 3rd set when Belinda turns around and walks up to me, with her phone up yelling ‘what the fu** are you doing? fu**ing perv stop pictures of me.’ ”
“I’m caught completely off-guard, but I explain that I’m just taking notes on what I’m lifting. That I’m not paying attention to her at all.”
“She’s being extra loud so other people are looking at me, plus she’s recording me, and she demands I go through my pics/vids to show her what I was recording and I delete the ones I took of her.”
“I try to again explain I didn’t record anything of her at all. She’s yelling that if I have nothing to hide I should have no problem showing her, so I insist on going to gym management.”
They pleaded their cases.
“Once at the front we both explain our stories (she’s still recording).”
“The normal gym attendee asks me if I’m willing to show her, a neutral 3rd party, my pics/vids. She also says if I have nothing to hide its not a big deal and we can squash it right now.
“I refuse. I have my own uncensored pics in there plus those of my gf. I’m not gonna let anyone force me to show them for some bullsh**.”
“I do show her my spreadsheet which shows its been revised over 15 times in the past 50 minutes, so that proves what I was using my phone for. That was received well, but they still expected me to prove my innocence.”
OP held firm.
“I told them they need to review the cameras. Apparently only the manager has access to them so I was told he’d call me before the end of the night (in about an hour).”
“My gf tells me I should have just let them look at my phone because she doesn’t mind and it would have cleared this all up.”
“But I mind. I get that someone wouldn’t want someone taking pics of them, but violating my privacy to prove I wasn’t taking pics of you crosses a line for me.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors agreed that OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA, you having to prove yourself by showing private photos is just absurd. Whats on your phone is private. The girl has no evidence except for what she had thought up in her own head.”
“Too be honest i would have turned the tables and say she was recording you without permission and ask the attendee if that is normal for this gym.” — Shakefoot
“At first I thought you didn’t want to show your phone because you were guilty of taking the pics.”
“Then I considered the last 5 pics I took on my own phone. 3 are of the mole that I’m monitoring, 2 are hentai. I don’t think I’d be up for spot checks with the phone police, either. NTA” — Prestigious-Tea6514
“NTA. You provided proof by showing your edits. No one is obligated to show their pictures without any more grave proof. No one. They really should just check the cameras rather than invalidating your privacy.” — unknownusername0108
“NTA. I understand why she would have this misunderstanding. But, regardless, you’re under no obligation to show your personal photos to her or the manager.”
“Yes, it probably would have cleared it up, and sure a lot of other people out there would probably have just shown the pictures. But, in this case, it’s your decision, not theirs.” — MagicalPJ
According to an update later added by OP, it appeared the gym management agreed with he and the Redditors too.
“Just talked to the manager. He checked the footage. He couldn’t see what was on my screen in the footage, but he said it looks like I had my phone pointed towards the ground right in front of me the whole time.”
“In his opinion, ‘Not high enough to even take a pic of her, and never angled in her direction.’ “
“Apparently I was gonna get banned from the gym if the cameras didn’t absolve me. And also I’m not the first person that has been accused by Brenda, but she legit had a creeper before.”
Here’s hoping OP still feels comfortable keeping track of his weight lifting metrics the next time he heads to the gym.