It is important to keep precious items.
Especially if these items are difficult, if not downright impossible, to replace.
This is especially true when we are tasked with taking care of something that doesn't belong to us.
Should these items go missing under our watch, there is a certain amount of responsibility to cover the cost of these missing items.
Or at least half.
A recent Redditor recently gave his partner a very important gift.
A gift she sadly lost a short while after being given it.
Of course, the original poster (OP) wanted to replace what was lost.
But they didn't feel they should foot the entire bill this time.
Wondering if he was wrong for feeling this way, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for wanting my partner to help pay for her engagement ring?"
The OP explained why he felt it was only fair that he go "halfsies" with his partner to replace a lost item:
"I proposed to my partner about a year ago."
"I bought her a ring I thought fit her style and taste perfectly, and she was thrilled with it."
"The proposal itself was in Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland (highly recommended if you've never been), and the whole thing was really special."
"There was just one small issue: the ring was a bit loose."
"Since I had bought it abroad, I couldn't bring it back to the same jeweller for resizing."
"We agreed we'd take it to a local jeweller, but almost a year went by and she never actually went to get it adjusted."
"Fast forward to a few weeks ago: while playing with our dog in the woods, the ring slipped right off her finger and disappeared."
"We spent days searching with metal detectors and every tool we could think of, but it was gone."
"Naturally, I want to get her a new ring."
"She misses it, and I don't want her to go without something that holds that kind of meaning."
"But here's the problem: she seems to expect me to cover the entire cost again."
"From my perspective, I was hoping she'd at least offer to contribute this time."
"On top of that, her friends keep asking when she's 'getting another ring', which adds more pressure and paints me like this selfish a-hole."
"I know part of this is on me for not nailing the size in the first place, but I couldn't exactly be obvious since she already suspected a proposal."
"Plus, buying abroad complicated things with sizing differences."
"Honestly, we are not very much into bling or expensive jewelry."
"Although this is probably the most expensive piece of jewelry she ever owned, I think some people might be overestimating how much money I spent on it."
"Insurance therefore never crossed my mind, considering my inexperience when it comes to jewelry combined with it not being 'crazy expensive'."
"So AITA for expecting her to share in the expense? "
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community largely agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for requesting his fiancée cover half the cost of her new engagement ring.
Nearly everyone agreed it was the responsibility of the OP's fiancée to get his engagement ring re-sized, and she shouldn't have waited over a year to do so:
"NTA."
"Who keeps wearing an expensive ring that is too loose?"
"She should have gotten it resized as soon as she got home."
"This is on her."
"She should at least pay for half, since you and she are supposedly about to mingle your finances and be a team when it comes to expenses."-T_G_A_H
"NTA."
"If I lost my ring, I would feel so guilty and mortified I would definitely offer to split the cost (if not pay for the whole thing)."
"She had a year to get it adjusted or even buy a 3$ ring adjuster off amazon as a temporary solution (which incidentally is what I have done)."- tawny-she-wolf
"I personally would have offered to help with it if I chose to wear a ring that didn't fit and never got around to resizing it."
"That's just me."
"NTA."- Maggiemoo621
"NTA."
"I personally wouldn't even expect a replacement immediately."
"I'd probably buy something cheap as a place holder and maybe get a nicer ring way down the line as an anniversary gift or something."- keesouth
"I guess this is the minority opinion - but I don't understand why this is on OP at all?"
"Am I responsible for perpetually replacing every gift I give someone if they ever lose or break it?"
"Once you give a gift, it's theirs."
"If they lost it, they can replace it or live without it."
"I understand replacing a ring yourself won't have the same 'he gave me this' sentimentality, so I understand OP being involved, but it seems like the default is for the owner and responsible party for the loss to pay the replacement cost and any other division is a nice gesture on the part of OP."
"And no, I don't see not getting the correct size as being responsible for the loss a year later."
"She decided it fit well enough to wear for a year, she took the risk knowingly."
"She could have kept it safe in a box until it was sized correctly."
"Also, even correctly sized rings get lost all the time."
"NTA."- SummitJunkie7
"NTA."
"My husband tried his best to size my ring before proposal (planting a ring sizer in a hotel room on vacation because he knew I would try it on!) and it was still a size too large."
"I was super aware it was a bit too big and put it on a chain for a while before getting it resized."
"Was the ring insured?"
"As that could sort the whole issue out."
"But if your partner was aware it didn't fit and didn't act on it's kinda on her."
"But hopefully you guys can work things out together as a team!"- Actual-Smoke1742
"NTA."
"That is a household expense."- BreqsCousin
"NTA."
"She lost it."
"Unless she has no job and you are her only source of income she damn sure is gonna be paying for some of it."
"It's her fault."- flippityflop2121
"NTA."
"At all, but y'all - insure your rings."
"You can add them to your home insurance policy."- ptheresadactyl
"NTA."
"It would have been exponentially cheaper to have it resized and even more affordable to get one of those ring snuggies so it fit."
"I would never wear something like that without making sure it couldn't fall off my hand."
"That sucks but she's gonna have to figure out how to replace it."- PlumpQuietSoup
"NTA."
"The ring being lost is entirely due to her laziness and carelessness - she knew it was too large, and chose to wear it anyway, rather than getting it resized or wearing it on a chain or some other suitable alternative."
"Because she wore it anyway, she lost it."
"You do not owe her an endless chain of replacement rings when she loses them - you are not an insurance policy."
"If she bought you a nice gift and you lost it, would you expect her to dive straight in and offer to replace it for you, or be annoyed about your carelessness?"- Nrysis
"NTA."
"But you need to be able to openly discuss finances with her if you want to have a successful marriage."
"Soon your assets will combine, so the 'my money' vs 'her money' thinking will need to change."-ThrowRA-gruntledfork
"NTA."
"She should've gotten it sized asap."- Longhairjoe99_
"NTA."
"She didn't do anything to keep that ring safe."
"Only you can decide if her lack of care with this symbol of your love is worth replacing."
"If you decide that's what you want, might I suggest a lab grown diamond?"
"They cost so much less."- coreysnaps
Others, however, couldn't understand not only why the OP's fiancée didn't resize the ring, but why the OP didn't insure the ring:
"ESH."
"Any jeweler can resize a ring."
"She should have had it sized, and you should have insured it."
"Now you should both share in the replacement cost."- DidAnyoneFeedTheDog
"ESH."
"Why are you 2 getting married if you can't even sort out this little situation?"
"It's been over a year apparently and none of you manage to secure the ring size."
"Now it is lost, and you are both petty about it."
"You both don't sound mature enough and ready for the commitment that a marriage requires."- LylyO
Many hope that an engagement ring is something you're gifted only once.
Hence why it's important to keep track of it as best you can.
Seeing as the OP should have probably gotten the ring insured, despite all the reasons he gave, and their fiancée shouldn't have waited to get the ring resized, splitting the cost halfway seems like a fair compromise.















Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.