Servers are constantly faced with the challenge of servicing many patrons simultaneously, so it’s not surprising if things don’t operate smoothly.
But what is the statute of limitations on punishing a hard worker who made an honest mistake?
A woman who confronted and had a fallout with her friend about how she dealt with a dining inconvenience visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITH) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor bittergoblin- asked:
“AITA for telling my pescatarian friend it’s her fault she ate meat?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (23 F[female]) went out to dinner with my friend (25 F[female]) over the weekend at a restaurant in our town. She’s been pescatarian since she was 14 and is a huge advocate for eating less meat. I am an omnivore, but I respect her lifestyle choices, especially as she doesn’t shame me for my decisions.”
“We’ve never been to this restaurant before so we were excited to try something new. She ordered a squid dish and I ordered a beef dish. When our food arrived, we noticed her squid looks a little strange as it has pieces of what seems like dark meat in it.”
“She takes a bite and then calls the waiter over, asking if there’s meat in it. The waiter confirms the wrong item was given to our table and apologises profusely (he didn’t serve us), taking the dish away and promising the food will be remade correctly and taken off our bill.”
“My friend, at the time, accepts this and says that she understands mistakes happen.”
The OP continued:
“I asked her if she was okay as she seems a little thrown off (understandably), and she says she’s fine but obviously disappointed. Her correct dish arrives and the waiter again apologises to us and she seems okay from this point on.”
“At the end of our meal, the restaurant brought us complimentary deserts as an apology and, when we pay (just for my dish and drinks), she leaves a tip.”
“The next day, I have a look at the restaurant on google and can see she’s left a bad review (1/5 stars) where she details how they brought the wrong item, how distraught she is as a result of their mistake, and demanding compensation (even though the item was taken off our bill and we got free cake).”
“I’m not defending the restaurant as this lack of care is definitely a serious fault, but when the waitress who seated us asked us for any allergies or dietary requirements, she didn’t mention she didn’t eat meat. She only brought it up after the wrong dish was made.”
The OP decided to have a word with her dissatisfied friend.
“I texted her, asking why she left such a poor review and she said that the mistake was ‘unacceptable’. I then told her that it’s partially her fault that she ate meat because we both noted that her dish looked like it had meat when it was first brought out and that she should’ve asked the waiter first before eating it.”
“She then retaliated and said I was being insensitive and is no longer replying to me.”
“I just think it’s odd that she said everything was fine AND left a tip to then complain on google. Am I the a**hole?”
“I also want to add that we are in the UK where tipping is optional. There was no service charge already added to the bill, so the tip was entirely her decision.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“NTA. I’ve been a vegetarian my whole life. Not that it gives me authority over how other people feel, but anyways.”
“From your description, the wrong dish was a simple mistake. If she suspected there was meat, she should have asked beforehand, or heck (what I usually do), asked a meat-eating friend to try it first.”
“It does feel really sh**ty when I get accidentally served meat, but people are just people, and mistakes happen. The restaurant immediately apologized and tried to make up for the mistake. I’d feel differently if they tried to make her feel guilty about the situation, but it doesn’t seem like they did.”
“If she was not satisfied with their resolution, she should have communicated it then and there to give them a chance to fix it, before trying to damage their reputation.” – Catracas
“NTA. You just learned that this person is a jerk- and maybe an ex-friend. I’d leave the restaurant a good review- they made a mistake with our order but promptly fixed it, comped the dish, and threw in a free dessert – very classy.” – capmanor1755
“NTA, I’ve been a pescetarian since age 7. If she thought the dish might contain meat, she should’ve checked with the waiter first instead of checking with her mouth. Mix-ups like these happen. It sounds to me like the restaurant did perfectly fine in terms of compensation.”
“If your friend is upset about having eaten one bite of meat because of a mistake, when she noticed and yet didn’t ask before tasting, then that should be a learning experience for her. Next time, if something about the order seems off, ask the waiter before eating.” – Starsisms
“NTA. She thought it was meat, and she ate it. Accidents happen, and the restaurant went out of their way to fix it. I myself would write a review of what actually happened and put it online. Your friend has little empathy, and I’m sure she has never made a mistake. I say good riddance to her. “ – Any_Dragonfruit4130
“NTA.”
“As someone who was formerly in the food service industry, I’m the first to admit that mistakes happen.”
“However, you’re correct that she should have asked if she was unsure because it looked different than she expected.”
“Also, the waiter/restaurant did the right thing in apologizing and comping the meal.”
“To me it seems as if the review is just seeking attention. The problem was addressed at the time it happened, so there was no need to make it a thing again with the review.”
“Honestly? Be glad she’s stopped replying. This is not the type of person to be friends with.”
“ETA: maybe leave a positive review to counteract hers. Something about how you were present when a mistake was made and they handled it in the appropriate manner.” – Strange_Jackfruit_89
“NTA your friend is. She considered the possibility it was meat, because it was obvious to you both, and she accepted that risk by eating it to check instead of checking with the waiter first. She was compensated with free food and apologised to. Come on now.” – Outside_Guidance4752
“NTA. It was the restaurant’s mistake, and they did try to make it right. You both noticed it looked wrong and she tried it anyway. Her fault.”
“She’s TA because she left a bad review for something so minor. This is why I take bad reviews with a grain of salt. They are probably not as bad as they say. People can be entitled little nincompoops and can’t be trusted with real reviews.” – crankoy62
“NTA.”
“I’m a vegetarian. I scrutinize almost everything I don’t make for myself. It sounds like she could tell something was off before taking a bite. She’s been pescatarian for over 10 years and should have known better.”
“Plus, mistakes happen. Would I be happy if I took a bite of my food and there was meat in it? No. In fact I would be a little nauseated after speaking from experience. And if I suspected something off, I would ask whoever I was eating with if they were up to trying a bite to confirm, not take the bite myself.”
“But I wouldn’t hold it against the restaurant in this case. You told the waiter about the mistake, and they fixed it. What’s done is done. If they didn’t correct it or gave an attitude about changing it, then yes, by all means, write a bad review. But that’s not the case here.” – NoAppointment3062
“NTA, and if your friend is not responsive, I would suggest you leave your own review. The restaurant took reasonable steps to make restitution – comping her meal and giving you both free dessert.”
“FWIW, I was a vegetarian for a decade and am now a pescetarian. I take responsibility for informing the server that I don’t eat meat and asking to be alerted if a dish I order might have meat in it. If, after that, a meat-containing dish is mistakenly served to me and I take a bite before I figure it out, I would look at whether there was any other personal responsibility I could have taken to prevent the mistake and then move on.”
“Even religions that have strict dietary requirements don’t punish someone who is making a sincere effort to keep the dietary laws but eats food that breaks them without intent because of a mistake. Sincere repentance is all that is asked.” – Constant_Host_3212
Overall, Redditors thought the OP’s friend was out of line for leaving a negative review despite being compensated for the understandably egregious mistake.
They supported the OP for calling her friend out on not questioning her suspicious-looking meal but eating it anyway before raising a fuss.