Taking care of animals isn’t always easy.
Vet bills and food add up fast.
But love for a pet builds up faster.
That’s why people can get very territorial about ownership.
Redditor ReferenceNext644 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to give my ex-girlfriend’s dog back after she abandoned it with me for a year?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (29 M[ale] ) broke up with my ex, Chloe (28 F[emale]), about 14 months ago.”
“It was messy.”
“When she moved out, she asked if I could watch her dog, a senior dachshund- Frank, for ‘a couple weeks’ while she found a pet-friendly place.”
“I agreed because I loved that dog.”
“Weeks turned into months.”
“For the first few months, she’d text to ask about him, but she never came to visit or sent money for food or vet bills.”
“The texts slowly stopped.”
“After 6 months, I texted her and said, ‘Hey, are you getting Frank soon? His food and care are expensive.'”
“She did reply after a day, ‘I’m still looking, thanks so much for doing this.'”
“At the 10-month mark, Frank had a big vet bill.”
“I spent over $300ish on him, and I lost my job at the moment.”
“I didn’t even bother texting her; she hadn’t reached out in 4 months.”
“I paid for it, and I officially considered him my dog.”
“Last week, out of the blue, Chloe showed up at my door.”
“She’s got a new job, a new apartment, and a new [Boy]F[riend].”
“She said, ‘I’m here for Frank! Thanks for watching him!'”
“I told her no.”
“I said she abandoned him.”
“I’ve been his sole caretaker for over a year, and I paid for his bills and food.”
“She got hysterical, calling me a thief.”
“She said he was her E[motional] S[upport] A[nimal] during our relationship, and she needs him back.”
“She offered to pay me back for the surgery ‘in installments.'”
“I told her to get lost and shut the door.”
“Now, she’s blowing up my phone, and her new boyfriend is sending me threatening messages.”
“My friends are split.”
“Some say I saved the dog, and he’s mine.”
“Others say I’m being a bitter ex and stealing her property out of spite, and that I should have given her a chance to pay me back.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
NTA – Not The A**hole
YTA – You’re The A**hole
NAH – No A**holes Here
ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. You have recent vet bills in your name, so legally, the dog is yours. “
“If he has a microchip, get it registered in your name ASAP.”
“If Frank really was her ’emotional support dog,’ she never would have left him with you.” ~ tidymaze
“A chip can be the deciding factor in this, if she was paying the bill for the registry… her reaction tells me that wasn’t the case, though.”
“If she’s freaking out and having her boyfriend send threats, she probably doesn’t have ANYTHING tying ownership to her.”
“Regardless of your opinion on the situation, all existing factors heavily favor OP here.”
“Sounds like he’s the only one who could present proof of ownership if the law got involved.” ~ Saint_of_Grey
“You are NTA.”
“I actually did something similar with a relative who abandoned a dog with us and then asked to have her back a year and a half later.”
“That is your dog now.”
“Do not take her calls.” ~ EmceeSuzy
“She has not even checked in on the dog in how long?”
“Not so much as a text or a surprise shipment of treats from Amazon?”
“She abandoned him.”
“He’s your dog now. NTA.” ~ Bubbly_Chicken_9358
“NTA. She isn’t going to the police or filing a report because she knows she has no leg to stand on.”
“You could also go to the police yourself for the threatening messages.” ~ BlaqueDaliah
“NTA. No visiting, no checking in on the dog, no sending you money to pay for the dog’s basic needs and medical care?”
“You’re absolutely correct in the fact that she abandoned the dog.”
“The law in most places would agree after that amount of time as well.”
“Make sure you keep copies of all the vet care in your name, and if you still have receipts of food or other necessities spent on him as backup in case she tries to escalate this.” ~ PilafiaMadness
“YEP. My family had the same thing happen.”
“A lady dropped her young sheepdog off with us because she was going to be homeless.”
“My parents, being the animal lovers they are, agreed.”
“She ended up shacking up with a dude and moved out of town and came back over a year later to pick up the dog.”
“By then, we had gotten the dog neutered, all his shots, and fed him.”
“He was part of the family.”
“She called the cops on us, and they came over and told her the dog was legally ours.” ~ orangeunrhymed
“Ensure that if the dog is microchipped, it is registered in your name.”
“You’ve already got the vet bills, keep those handy in case you need to prove ownership.”
“Also, make sure the pup is registered with your local municipality under your name.”
“With those three things in your corner, you’ll be able to prove ownership.” ~ Accomplished_Cod7613
“Anyone who leaves their dog with someone for a year, with no visits, no taking for walks, petting or loving, or vet care has abandoned their pet.”
“Do not give this dog back to her; she is not a worthy pet owner.”
“Seek legal remedies.” ~ BGS2204
“NTA, that is your dog now.”
“I once went through something similar.”
A friend asked me to watch his gf’s dog (I didn’t really know his gf, but I had dog-sat for this amazing pup before) while they moved across the country and got settled in.”
“Weeks became months, became well over a year. No food money, no vet money, no texts checking in, no contact at all.”
“They didn’t reach out a single time until the day before they wanted him back.”
“I was weak.”
“I caved.”
“My friends and family insisted he’s now my dog, but I felt obligated to honor my word of caring for him temporarily. “
“I let him go, and it was to this day one of the biggest mistakes of my life.”
“I missed him so godd**n much.”
“They ended up breaking up, and my little man lived with his ‘owner’ in her truck for a while.”
“I tried reaching out, but she acted like I was some random guy asking to steal her dog.”
“I don’t even know how he’s doing these days, but I know she moved back home with him at some point.”
“Long story short, don’t let this dog go.”
“Your ex doesn’t care about him or his well-being.”
“If she did, she would have stayed in touch.”
“If he’s happy, healthy, and safe with you, then that’s where he should stay.” ~ stoneymcstone420
“NTA. She legally abandoned him.”
“She dropped off the face of the earth for at least half the year.”
“She’ll find that counts.”
“You’ve taken ownership.”
“You’ve taken on all of his care for a year.”
“Make sure the dog is registered under your name at the vet.”
“Make sure the dog is microchipped in your name.”
“Make sure the dog has state registration in your name.”
“Have the vet print out your receipts and visit records.”
“Print the relevant credit card bank account statements.”
“Keep all your paperwork.”
“Make sure the dog has had a recent wellness check and is up to date on shots.”
“Get receipts.”
“I’d establish ownership with a groomer, dog walker, whoever you can.”
“I’d get a camera in case she tries to steal the dog.”
“Let the vet know the former owner has suddenly turned up, and only you have access to pick up the dog or enquire after the dog.”
“Same with any carers, neighbors, walkers… anyone she might find to help her pick up the dog.” ~ YoshiandAims
“Threatening messages are wonderful.”
“Make sure you save all of them.”
“Especially if you can get them on a voicemail.”
“If they threaten bodily harm to you, I’d recommend getting a restraining order.”
“If they threaten you in front of someone, document it right away, verbatim, and have the person who witnessed it sign that it’s accurate.”
“I went through a somewhat messy divorce, and it got so much easier once my now ex-M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] left me a voicemail saying she would hire someone to off me.”
“I simply took it to the police department and said I was scared for myself and my kids, and they went and told her she wasn’t to contact me again.”
“Good luck.”
“You’re a good person for taking care of the dog.” ~ whyamionhearagain
“Wow, your ex is such a loser.”
“I mean, I would understand if she had never stopped showing up for this dog, including paying for his things like food, etc, but the fact that she totally stopped communication just says how much of a priority this dog was to her.”
“As far as I am concerned, he is your dog now, and like others said, try and register him ASAP if he isn’t registered yet, and keep receipts of stuff you purchased for him and all those vet bills, cause she might be petty and try to escalate this.”
“Good luck!” ~ noneyA10
“NTA – tell her to bring the vet bill money, plus whatever extra you think, and you will give the dog back.”
“She wants to treat you like a babysitter, then you should get paid for it.” ~ That_BULL_V
Reddit is with you, OP.
How dare your ex just show up unannounced with dog demands?
Frank is your dog now.
Getting him chipped should be a priority.