Having a roommate is such a common part of life these days.
Rent and utilities prices are out of control.
So splitting finances can be a lifesaver.
And when people find a perfect setup financially, they’ll often fight tooth and nail to keep it.
Redditor Aitabeki wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for refusing to move out even though my roommate is 7 months pregnant?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Hi guys, last week my roommate Becca found out she is not only pregnant but seven months along.”
“She texted me that we had to talk today, and I assumed she would be moving out soon for more space when the baby comes.”
“Instead she told me I have to move out to make space for the nursery and her B[aby] D[addy] to move in.”
“I’m on a terrible salary and cannot afford to live anywhere else. Plus, she wants me to move out right now so she can prepare for the baby.”
“Even if I wanted to move out now, the apartment rentals in my area are either too expensive or well below living standards so I don’t want to move.”
“She went absolutely crazy the moment I told her I wouldn’t move out, because I’m ruining her motherhood experience by not letting her family live together.”
“I pay rent here, and my name is on the lease until at least the end of the year.”
“I’m not gonna pull out of the lease, and I told her that if she wants her little family together, then she should move, and I’ll find someone to half the cheap rent with.”
“That made her start crying and saying how I just want to ruin her life to the point her baby daddy had to console her and tell me to get out of their way already.’
“I’ve not heard her stop crying since, but I think I’m totally valid, and I don’t want to leave.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for not wanting to move out?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. You’re on the lease and pay rent. She can’t kick you out whenever she feels like it.”
“You should definitely report her to the landlord or leasing office for trying to evict you illegally and also make it clear that you don’t plan to move out in case she tries to go behind your back to tell them you said you’re leaving so her baby daddy is taking over the lease.”
“I’d also complain about her essentially moving in her baby daddy without your consent.”
“You may have a clause about excessive overnight guests.” ~ Zealousideal-Divide6
“At 7 months, you’re showing there is no way she did not know, so she’s lying, or she’s lying.”
“The only question is which lie is she telling, NTA.” ~ mdigi31
“NTA. Your name is on the lease, and you both live there.”
“The audacity to tell you to move out is outrageous. 😭” ~ REDDIT
“1- Seven months pregnant and no baby bump?”
“2- Baby Daddy still living at home?”
“3- Baby Daddy spending half his time sleeping in your apartment?”
“4- Cheap rent?”
“Sounds like Baby Daddy hates living with mommy but can’t afford a place of his own.”
“He’s got a girlfriend who has a place where he spends most of his time rent-free.”
‘If they make your life miserable enough they push you out and he moves in with the benefit of rent cheap enough he no longer has to live with mommy.”
“I doubt she’s pregnant, and he’s tired of living at his mom’s house.”
“Stay your ground.”
“She can’t evict you. Your name is on the lease.”
“‘Is her name on the lease?”
“Who moved into the place first?”
“In any event, you’ll find out if she’s really pregnant before your lease is up at the end of the year.”
“Seven months pregnant and not showing yet?”
“What took her so long to tell you?”
“You’d think she would’ve told you at least four months ago or at least when she decided to keep the baby.”
“It’s she who has a need for space, so she should move her little family into their own place and let her deal with paying the landlord when she breaks the lease.”
“Just tell her, ‘Sorry about your luck, but I’m not going anywhere. Not my problem.'”
“As they say No is a one-word sentence.”
“Let her deal with HER problem.” ~ ExplanationNo8707
“I encountered a woman who presented with what she thought was appendicitis.”
“Turns out she was in active labor and delivered at 35 weeks (timing based on certain markers).”
“She had no clue she was even pregnant.”
“Always had irregular and light periods.”
“She thought, based on her typical diet, she had a long-term case of bloating.”
“It can happen.”
“Now with that out of the way.”
“Yes, some women fake pregnancies as a power move: make the believing baby daddies cough up money for ‘maternity care’ or future baby access, try to make people like OP move because they want the home to themselves.”
“Pretty trippy s**t.”
“NTA for OP for staying put and not letting the roommate take advantage.” ~ Vispartofmyname
“NTA. This is a ‘her’ problem, not a ‘you’ problem.”
“She wants the cheap rent for her and her BD.”
“Your name is on the lease, you pay rent, she can’t kick you out.”
“However, be prepared for a very uncomfortable living situation from now on.”
“Where does the BD live now?”
“If she wants to move him in, he has a place already.”
“Can she not move in with him?” ~ Discount_Mithral
“If she’s ‘just finding out’ she’s 7 months pregnant, and isn’t showing any signs, I’d be very leery of her telling you the truth.”
“Tell her that if she wants to start a life with him, she can move in with him.”
“Stand firm on this – there’s a good chance she’s lying to get you to move out.”
“Is there perhaps something you could report her to the landlord about?”
“Is BD staying over a lot?”
“That’s usually in violation of a lot of lease agreements.” ~ Discount_Mithral
OP had a few answers…
“BD lives with his mom, it’s been a bad roommate situation for years but the rent is super cheap for where we live so I’ve dealt with her.”
“Honestly, I don’t even know for sure if she actually is pregnant and just wants me out.”
“He does stay over like half the week.”
“She has done weird things before.”
“I might report her to the landlord, but I honestly would just like to keep my apartment in the long run with a new roommate.”
Reddit continued…
“This is perfect, especially if she’s been the longer-term renter.”
“He knows her.”
“Let the landlord know there may be some roommate drama, but no matter what he’s told, you have no intention of moving at the end of the least.”
“Also, give him a heads up on B[oy]F[riend] and baby.”
“He didn’t rent to the boyfriend, so he has no right to move in.”
“Your landlord can back you up on that.”
“It also lets him know that you aren’t the problem in case she makes something up.”
“Being pregnant doesn’t mean you get to kick your roommate out.”
“Lock everything of yours into your room, even kitchen things, if you think she might retaliate.”
“And, don’t hesitate to call the police if she harasses you at all. NTA.” ~ babcock27
“Another vote that you should make your intentions clear to the landlord you wish to renew your lease, and ‘while I’m here, I’d like to ask about the guest policy.'”
“‘My roommate has been having someone stay over quite a bit, and I want to make sure I understand the rules on this clearly. It’s a small space to have a third person in all the time.'”
“If she’s doing shady s**t that might cost you your deposit or damage the property, that is fully justified to be reported to the landlord.” ~ Discount_Mithral
“NTA. Your roommate is living in a fantasy.”
“In her mind, you’d move out and she’ll live happily ever after with her new little family.”
“And your refusal to move out burst her bubble.”
“If she’s upset, oh well, the world doesn’t revolve around her or her pregnancy.”
“She’ll just have to make do until the lease is up or find someplace else to live.” ~ Peony-Pony
“She ruined her own motherhood experience by being ill-equipped, and lacking the resources to have the Hallmark motherhood journey she wants.”
“NTA – and I would reach out to the landlord to get ahead of any opportunity for you to be pushed out of the space at the end of your lease.”
“You are not in the way of this ‘happy family’ by living in the space you pay for and rent.”
“Your roommate’s lack of birth control/funds seems to be what’s in her way.”
“That’s not your fault.” ~ gurlwithdragontat2
“NTA. This is crazy-level entitlement with a side-order of toxic baby daddy.”
“Do whatever you need to protect yourself, i.e. if it’s legal to record her and him with you as single party consent (this means you have to be part of the recording).”
“Get a camera for your room aimed at the door.”
“If allowed by lease/landlord get the lock for the bedroom.”
“Have an action plan in place in case they try to lock you out or move you out.”
“If their behavior escalates, take all evidence to police.” ~ Funny_Zebra1037
“NTA when it’s your name on the lease.”
“Why would you be the one to move out?”
“If the current space doesn’t work for her, then she needs to be one to go out and find a space that does and then lease that one in her name.”
“Then she can make decisions like this.” ~ im-gwen-stacy
“NTA. Tell her to pound sand.”
“If the living situation becomes intolerable (very likely) tell the landlord there’s an authorized male and baby living in the apartment.”
“Larger complexes tend to not like this.” ~ maricopa888
“NTA. You are on the hook for rent until the lease is up so you are not going anywhere.”
“Tell the landlord she wants baby daddy to move in and will have an infant shortly.”
“Ask for the landlord’s take on this.”
“The Landlord may choose to only renew your lease with another qualified renter because I do not think BF may be qualified as a renter unless he is worried about discrimination.”
“She is not allowed to move bf in without the landlord’s consent.” ~ Ok-Sector2054
“NTA… sounds like it’s your apartment just as much as it is hers.”
“She should move in with her baby daddy.” ~ sicilianique
Reddit understands your reasons for staying put OP. This is on your roommate and her BD to figure out.
Protect yourself and keep records of everything you can.
Reaching out to your landlord immediately could be a great idea.