We’ve all had to throw together a last-minute meal when we’ve forgotten a key ingredient, right?
Well, a mom-to-be found herself in hot water with an overbearing mother-in-law over the meals she was feeding to her kids, side-eyed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor throwawayy8710 was pregnant and always cooked for her husband, but not always to the extravagant levels that her mother-in-law (MIL) expected.
But when her mother-in-law accused her of not even making her grandson a “proper meal” when she served them pasta, the Original Poster (OP) decided enough was enough and kicked her out.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for calling my MIL uneducated about nutrition and kicking her out of my house after she criticized what I made my son for dinner?”
The OP’s mother-in-law (MIL) regularly visited her home.
“My husband and I have one 18-month-old son, and I am pregnant with our second baby.”
“We live in a major city, and his mother lives in a suburb 45 minutes north of us.”
“Her doctor works out of a hospital located downtown in our city, and my MIL will often stay over at our place after her appointments instead of driving back to her home as her appointments usually end right around when rush hour begins.”
During a recent visit, her mother-in-law walked in just as the OP finished dinner.
“Yesterday was one of these days. She went to have some labs drawn at the hospital and then came over to our home when I was just about done cooking dinner.”
“My husband was at the gym. I had a long day yesterday, and I felt absolutely exhausted from pregnancy and chasing my toddler around all day.”
“We were running low on groceries with not a lot of dinner options, so I was planning to make a really easy dinner of spaghetti with frozen meatballs, but when I went into the kitchen to start cooking, I realized that we were actually out of the meatballs I thought we still had.”
“It was too late to go to the store to get something else to make, my kid was already acting hungry, and I was starving and exhausted. So I just thought, ‘Well, I guess we don’t need to have protein with every single meal,’ and made the pasta without meatballs.”
The OP’s mother-in-law was critical of her cooking choices.
“When my MIL saw me putting my son in his seat and serving him his food, she said, ‘Just pasta?'”
“I said, ‘Oh yeah, I totally forgot I used up all our frozen meatballs until I was already cooking, so it’s a meatless dinner night!'”
“She said that she wished I would have texted her and she would have grabbed me meatballs from the store on her way so that ‘her grandson and her grandbaby-to-be could have a real dinner.'”
The OP didn’t appreciate the criticism.Â
“This really irked me as his meal was a ‘real dinner,’ and it’s not like I don’t serve him protein. He had protein with breakfast and lunch yesterday.”
“I also don’t like how she referred to ‘her grandbaby-to-be’ getting a real meal as I’m pregnant and so it’s obviously me who has to eat in order to nourish the baby. It’s me who’s not ‘getting a real meal’ according to her logic. It made me feel like she sees me as some kind of vessel and really made me mad.”
“I told her that maybe she’s uneducated about how much protein humans need and that there was nothing wrong with our dinner.”
“She immediately got very upset that I called her uneducated when she’s ‘raised three boys and she knows what growing boys need to eat’ and told me I should ‘try and plan harder next time.'”
The OP decided enough was enough.
“This last comment sent me over the edge, and I yelled at her to get out of my house if she was just going to s**t all over my mothering abilities and that she needs to stop using our place as a home base in the city when she has her appointments if she’s going to make comments like that.”
“She left in a huff, screaming about how she couldn’t believe I was kicking her out ‘over some constructive criticism before she even got to spend time with her grandson.'”
“I told her I was not looking for any criticism from her.”
“She called my husband and said I went on a ‘hormone-induced rage’ and kicked her out because I couldn’t deal with being called out on not serving my son a proper dinner and said she wants to keep coming over after her appointments.”
“My husband wants both of us to apologize to each other to ‘make peace,’ but I told him I’m not some elementary schooler who’s going to be forced to apologize when I didn’t do anything wrong just to make the issue go away.”
“Now he’s mad at me, and I’m wondering if I actually didn’t do anything wrong.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out that the situation could have gone so differently.
“Imagine how different this could have been.”
“She could have said, ‘Do you want me to run out and get something? I’m totally happy to do that.’ A genuine offer of help without any form of criticism.” – Boeing367-80
“This mother-in-law is staying overnight, and OP works, has a toddler, and is growing a human. Why isn’t MIL helping OP out?” – QashasVerse23
“My mom would have called and asked if we needed anything she could pick up on the way.”
“It sounds like that wouldn’t have helped in this situation because OP didn’t know she didn’t have meatballs until she went to look for them, but that’s not the end of the world, and the average kid’s menu at a restaurant has ‘noodles with butter and cheese’ for a reason.” – Traditional-Panda-84
“My Italian grandmother never showed up without food. Over 50 percent of the time, it was desserts, but I never complained. I mainly ate scrambled eggs and French fries till I was 10.” – Sensitive-Iron-5269
“My parents will have my eternal gratitude for when my kid was a baby. They watched the baby one day a week, and it was a long day (as in, 10 hours of work and an hour commute on both ends, without the added commute to their house, since I drive because you don’t add free childcare to also drive).”
“The first week of doing this, my folks invited me for supper, but I explained that the only way my husband got to see the baby (opposite schedules for childcare purposes) was if I went straight home.”
“So the next week, my dad ‘accidentally’ made too much food so he could hand us enough for two adult meals and leftovers. The next week, the same thing happened.”
“Eventually, he quit pretending it was an accident. H**l, one week my mom was sick, so my dad ran out of time so he stuck a grumpy toddler and a grocery store rotisserie bird in my car before I turned it off.”
“Feeding people is showing love in my family. The OP’s mother-in-law failed to show love.” – Sequence_of_Symbols
Others agreed and didn’t appreciate the unnecessary criticism.Â
“NTA. The best parents in the world run out of meatballs sometimes. Your MIL sounds obnoxious.” – Famous-Composer3112
“My daughter is a year and a half and that is for sure a meal. Also, why make a comment? So rude. She’s a f**king guest, mother-in-law or not.”
“How about not being rude to the pregnant woman who works and takes care of a toddler and I don’t know… help instead of providing unnecessary ‘constructive criticism.'”
“Free food is free food, and I love free food-protein or not.” – blubberf**ker69
“My son has an amazing girlfriend, and I hope daughter-in-law, someday.”
“I will keep my judgmental comments to myself. OP’s MIL sounds annoying as h**l.”
“I would not apologize. Also, she should tell her husband his mother is only allowed over when he is there to manage her.” – Competitive_Sleep_21
“There are so many MILs that are… MILzillas!”
“Instead of respecting and supporting their daughter-in-law (DIL), they are critical in a nasty way, undercut DIL’s authority, and even sabotage the DIL’s relationship with their husband or child.”
“Annnd, so many guys can’t stand up to their mothers. Of course, the awful MIL traits and behavior seem to go along with an overbearing/domineering personality type, which conditions the son to be passive/submissive. But the OP’s husband and mother-in-law both have changes to make if they want to be AT ALL supportive of the OP and her children.” – Slight-Can5120
“This reminds me of when I was eight years old and my mother introduced me and my sister to fried applesauce sandwiches. Those were amazing. She would fix these for us at breakfast in the summertime.”
“When I was nine we moved into a new house, my Aunt and Uncle came to visit one evening, and my mother had fixed us some applesauce sandwiches for dinner after we begged her to.”
“My Aunt went and told our grandparents we couldn’t afford much food because my parents had bought such a big house!”
“When my mother heard this, she went bats**t crazy, and my Aunt was called out and apologized.”
“There was just no place for my aunt’s or the OP’s mother-in-law’s behavior, full stop.”
“P.S. For those asking, a fried applesauce sandwich is just like a grilled cheese. Take two pieces of bread, put applesauce in-between them, and butter the outside of both bread slices. Fry in butter until golden brown. They’re ESPECIALLY good with applesauce that has cinnamon in it.” – Chemical_World_4228
The subReddit was furious on the OP’s behalf and found the mother-in-law’s feedback to be totally unnecessary. While she could have assisted with dinner, she instead decided to treat herself as a guest every time she had a doctor’s appointment, even when the OP was pregnant, working, and mothering a toddler.
Also, there’s nothing wrong with missing protein at one meal. Especially when you’ve already had protein that day, and especially-especially when pasta or fried applesauce sandwiches are on the menu.