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New Mom Refuses To Let Sister Keep Holding Baby After Discovering She May Have Bronchitis

woman coughing

People love babies.

Everyone always wants to hold a newborn and kiss it and play.

But sometimes there maybe some boundary pushing that makes parents uncomfortable.

What then?

Case in point…

Redditor The_end_of_mine wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for not letting my sister hold my baby?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (20 F[emale]) had a baby four months ago and obviously all my family was incredibly excited since he’s the first nephew/grandchild.”

“I have eight siblings so he has plenty of aunts and uncles to love on him.”

“Well, we’ve visited my family a few times since his birth and the oldest of my sisters (I’ll refer to her as Sis) has always been a ‘baby hog’ so she was the first to hold him.”

“We recently had a party at my parent’s house for friends and extended family to meet my son.”

“During the party Sis wouldn’t let anyone else hold him.”

“At one point I couldn’t find either of them for over an hour and it turned out she had locked herself in my parent’s bedroom with my son.”

“Then I found out that the whole time she was holding him she was sick with some sort of cough (she thought it might be strep or bronchitis).”

“I was furious and told Sis that if she can’t respect my son’s safety and my boundaries, she won’t be allowed to hold him anymore.”

“Now whenever I visit she follows me around begging to take a turn holding him and telling me that “this is the only way I can be happy.'”

“She is currently pregnant and miserable.”

“She has started complaining to my family about how unfair I’m being by not letting her bond with her nephew.”

“Everyone except our mom, who has refused to take sides, agrees with her and says I should let it go.”

“Am I overreacting?”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“She had strep or bronchitis and locked herself up with baby??”

“No way is that okay.”

“NTA those illnesses could kill a small infant.”

“His lungs are not strong enough.”

“She put your baby at risk.”

“If she’s pregnant she can wait to hog her own baby and pass illnesses to her child.” ~ Amethyst-talon91

“I came here to say exactly this!!”

“OP…. you are NTA.”

“She endangered your son’s health, safety and well-being! Infants have vulnerable immune system and a tiny cough could seriously harm them.”

“Especially now with all sorts of viral infection going around.”


“OP… bring out the mama-bear in you to make sure your son is safe!”

“Do not apologize for doing your job as a mother!”

“PS. I hope your son is okay and that he didn’t catch anything from her!” ~ silly_vengeful_sloth

“YUP. NTA. And sis’s behavior is a bit excessive.”

“I know her pregnancy hormones might be playing a role here, but she seems obsessive in a way that’s bizarre.”

“OP nothing wrong with setting and enforcing boundaries.” ~ EmeraldBlueZen

“NTA. Someone who is so obsessed with babies that she’s willing to risk their life just so she can hold them is not someone who can be trusted.”

“Have you told her partner about this?”

“She sounds like she’s not in a good place mentally and may need extra support from her loved ones, and unfortunately given her obsession that cannot be you.” ~ annedroiid

“WHAT?!?!?!?! With R[espiratory] S[yncytial] V[irus] flooding hospital E[mergency] R[oom]s right now??”

“I don’t see why you should be sending your child off on the S[ailing] S[hip] Bronchitis because it will make everyone else’s feelings but yours better.”

“It is not your job to make everyone else (including your sister) feel better.”

“It IS your job to protect and keep your baby healthy.”

“Your baby isn’t your sister’s emotional support animal, and if you can’t confront your family as they have such large numbers, then you need to make yourself scarce and ‘be busy.’ NTA.” ~ Straight-Singer-2912

“Let’s pretend that OP’s sister didn’t have an illness that could seriously harm an infant. (Because she did).”

“Forcing the entire family to let you hold the baby first every single time is weird.”

“Not ‘letting’ other family members hold the baby is weird.”

“Locking yourself in a room with someone else’s baby is weird.”

“Disappearing with someone else’s baby for over an hour is weird.”

“Saying that holding someone else’s baby is the only way they can be happy is weird.”

“OP’s sister is not mentally well. NTA and be careful!” ~ grey-skies

“NTA. She is obsessed with your son.”

“Honestly that is so f up that she locked herself in a room with him without your knowledge.”

“She sounds unhinged.”

“And let’s not even start with her being sick.” ~ Prudent_Border5060

“NTA. I call myself a baby hog, because I will hold a baby for as long as I can.”

“What I don’t do is refuse to hand the baby to anyone else.”

“I ask the parents to hold the baby, I don’t leave the room, and I don’t lock myself and the baby in a room.”

“Any person who takes someones baby and locks herself in a bedroom, who also says ‘this is the only way I can be happy,’ isn’t just pregnant and miserable, she sounds mentally ill.”

“Your baby isn’t her emotional support animal.”

“Her behavior after shows how unhinged she is.”

“Almost makes me think she really isn’t pregnant or there is something really wrong with her and I wouldn’t even have my baby around her period.”

“You’re not overreacting, you are underreacting.”  ~ McflyThrowaway01

“Who the hell holds a 4 month old with a lung infection knowing full well they could infect them?!”

“Who the hell keeps a baby from their mother for over an hour without even telling them where they’re going.”

“Who the hell locks themselves away with a baby when no-one knows where they are?”

“Who the hell thinks they have the authority to stop anyone else holding SOMEONE ELSE’S baby?!”

“And who the hell goes to bat for someone who does all these things, like it’s nothing to risk a baby’s health because holding a baby makes them happy?!”

“Let alone stomping on the mother’s boundaries!”

“It’s so unbelievably selfish!”

“Don’t listen to a single one of them and keep your baby safe. NTA!”  ~ nursewithnolife

“She actively KNOWINGLY endangered the life of your child.”

“I’d refuse to ever have them in the same room again much less let her hold him!”

“Edit: Heck I’d also consider it kidnapping with how she locked herself away from you with YOUR BABY!”

“No playing the innocent card from her!”

“There was 0 way she didn’t know what she was doing was wrong.”

“Screw her! NTA.”  ~ Doomhammer24

“NTA. YOU decide who gets to hold your baby!”

“She crosses your boundaries and frankly acts really weird when it comes to your baby.”

“You nor your baby are responsible for making her happy.”

“Stand your ground OP and congrats!” ~ Lady_Dai

“NTA. The fact that she was sick is just icing on the cake: she says that holding him is the only way to be happy and she hid from his parents with him in a locked room.”

“That’s really disturbing.”

“She needs a mental health check, but that’s not on you.”

“Your job here is to protect your child.”

“Please keep doing that.”  ~ thievingwillow

“NTA, she had 2 strikes at once : never ever go with any disease symptoms near a small baby and never ever take the baby somewhere that mom and dad don’t know where it is.”

“I would have freaked!”

“She seems to use the baby as a feel better plushy, it’s a little human and no Xanax.”

“She can bond with him once she gets better and learns to accept boundaries.” ~ Random_user_of_doom

“NTA. She seems oddly obsessed with babies to the point of being unbalanced.”

“The fact everyone says they are on her side is a massive red flag, and it sounds like your sister is overly enabled/coddled by everyone.”

“Is there a reason they may be giving her so much leeway?”  ~ Ziopiodio

OP responded…

“Well she was always the ‘trouble child.'”

“My aunt and I have suspected for a while she may have N[arcissistic] P[ersonality] D[isorder].”

“This type of thing (outlandish behavior caused by her selfishness) has been happening for years.”

“And my dad had a huge soft spot for her despite their constant fights.”

“He thinks I may be exaggerating and that she ‘probably just walked away for a minute to change his diaper.”

Reddit continued…

“I had a N[eonatal] I[ntensive] C[are] U[nit] preemie in December of frickin’ 2020.”

“If one of my siblings LOCKED themselves in room with my tiny fragile child while they were actively sick with something as DAMAGING as strep or bronchitis, I’d immediately go no contact.”

“Not even low contact.”

“No Contact straight up.”

“I’m sorry OP.”

“You’re a good parent and keep sticking to your boundary!!!! NTA.” ~ Willing-Panic1908

“Strep can cause scarlet fever which can very easily lead to coffin use or permanent extreme disability in small humans.”

“This includes but is not restricted to, deafness, brain damage, and epilepsy.”

“Also kinda worried she’d do something to the kid.”

“Family doesn’t seem to be concerned enough. NTA.” ~ Hetakuoni

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

Sounds like it maybe time for a discussion about boundaries.

You’re a good parent.

Keep up the good work.