Puberty is something we all go through, and some of us try to forget the experience more than others.
But there are ways to make the situation even more painful, like parents who are far too involved.
One guy witnessed the effects of this recently on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
The Redditor, who has since deleted his account, stood up against his parents after they became disturbingly involved with his younger sister’s physical development.
When they pushed back, the Original Poster (OP) questioned if he should have said anything.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for criticizing my parents’ treatment of my sister?”
The OP’s parents were preoccupied with his sister’s opinion.
“I have a younger sister. I am her older brother.”
“She is an early bloomer and our parents have been very controlling about her clothing.”
“They are obsessed with hiding her chest now that it’s growing.”
“They tell her she can’t wear tank tops at home. They tell her at home that she needs to put a bra on and that they can see her nipples.”
“They tell her to change out of form-fitting tops because her boobs are too noticeable.”
“We have a pool and she went to it in her swimsuit. They saw and told her that she is showing cleavage and needs to change.”
“They tell her a lot that she needs to be more modest and cover her boobs better.”
“I don’t know what the big deal is when she is at home anyway.”
The OP’s sister later confided in him about it.
“She has grown very self-conscious about her body and chest. She compares her chest to her peers.”
“She told me that she is always worried that people are looking at her boobs.”
“She says she needs new bras but doesn’t want to tell our mom because of the comments she will make.”
The OP decided to speak up.
“I told her that her body is normal and she shouldn’t be ashamed of being a girl and having boobs.”
“I told my parents they should knock the comments off and stop being obsessed with her body and chest.”
“They got angry with me for telling them how to do their job.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some complimented the OP for being a great big brother.
“Poor girl! I was also an early bloomer. Nobody at home ever commented anything on that, yet I was still so self-conscious and shy. I wore baggy clothes to hide my boobs, just because I was comparing myself to the other girls at school.”
“I can’t imagine having my parents add further “shame” on top of that, it probably would have destroyed what little self-esteem I had. NTA and you’re a wonderful brother!” – bigmamma0
“NTA. Your parents are body shaming your sister and, frankly, that’s disgusting. She is going to have a poor self-image because of their behavior. Luckily she has you to stick up for her.” – PsychologyAutomatic3
“Someone needs to stick up for the poor girl. Kudos to you for being a good big brother despite the potential awkwardness given the subject matter.”
“Your parents are being insensitive and irrational toward your sister, with predictably negative effects on her psyche. Certainly continue to stick up for her and be there to help however you can. Even just being a sounding board can be huge.”
“She might be in for a stressful few years while she’s living under their roof, unfortunately.” – helpcomputah94
“Their job is to raise children who are healthy, happy, well-fed, educated, and prepared for independent life by the time they’re adults. Seems to me they’re failing miserably when it comes to your sister.” – 99Point995Percent
Others agreed and suggested how the OP could help his sister further.
“NTA. If she is comfortable, call around to some of the larger department or lingerie shops. They often have staff that can properly measure her and help find the right bra.” – strawberry-pesto
“Large department stores have staff that are trained on how to measure bra sizes. Heck, I had a friend who could just look at me and tell me my size. They can help her find the right size and I’m sure they will be compassionate and supportive of her needs and concerns” – Havin-a-ladida-time
“You don’t say how old your sister is but given you said ‘early bloomer,’ it’s a safe guess to say she’s barely a teenager, if that.”
“Next time you catch one of your parents making comments about your sister’s body, especially her breasts, ask them in a calm voice, ‘Why are you sexualizing your daughter?'”
“That’s what they’re doing, they’re looking at the body of a child and making it something sexual like she’s not even a kid anymore she’s an object.”
“It might shock them into re-evaluating their stance on this, after all the world is full of sick a**holes and they could be acting this way in an effort to protect her. Or they could completely lose their s**t, but regardless it’s not a bad question to ask.”
“Ask it every time, no matter who’s around them too.”
“‘Why are you sexualizing a minor?'”
“‘She’s (age), why are you talking like she’s an adult?'”
“‘Breasts aren’t sexual things, Mom, you should know that, you have kids.'” – Blobfish_Blues
A few urged the OP to help his sister get sized as soon as possible.
“NTA, you’re doing great. If you can get ahold of a measuring tape for sewing and she has any relatives with large chests, give her the tape and recommend that she figure out her size and see if she can work around her parents.”
“If she actually has a large chest and it’s not just your parents being controlling, this is a health issue. Wearing a bra that doesn’t support a large chest when you have one can lead to spinal issues.” – TiredNTrans
“Now please take her to get bras or ask a friend of yours to take her and give her the money for them. Have your friend take her somewhere where she can get measured and get the right size. Even if you then go to Target and buy them, at least they will be right for her.”
“How old is she? When can she get out?”
“Your parents are awful and this will affect her for many, many years. They should be ashamed of themselves.” – CJSinTX
Though the OP had mixed feelings about his parents’ reaction, the subReddit reassured him that he did the right thing. Not only was his sister going through a delicate time, but there would be medical concerns involved, whether proper support for her body or concerning psychological developments.