Redditor Balks After Girlfriend Expects Them To Do All The Cooking And Still Split Her Chores

Death, taxes, and chores.

These are some inescapable aspects of life.

The older one gets, the more chores there are.

That's why when you're in a relationship, you hope to share them...

Redditor Open_Address_2805 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

"AITA for expecting my G[irl]F[riend] to do my half of her chores as well?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I've been having arguments with my girlfriend regarding chores for a while, and it just doesn't make any sense."

"When we started dating, she mentioned how she doesn't want to be a 'mum' to me and wants me to handle myself regarding domestic duties."

"I was completely fine with that."

"I was living on my own when we met and did everything by myself, managed my own life."

"No problem at all."

"We moved in together, and we clashed a fair bit and decided it would be best to just assign certain chores and stick with that."

"She hates being in the kitchen and doesn't want to cook."

"She also doesn't like doing the dishes because of her nails?"

"I thought that was a pretty lame excuse, but whatever."

"I agreed to do everything in the kitchen. "

"That means ALL the cooking, dishes, cleaning pans, wiping down stove/countertop, etc."

"Personally, I thought that was a phenomenal deal for her, even if she did everything else."

"She said okay, you handle that, and we'll separate everything else in half."

"We'll split the laundry, split the cleaning bathrooms/toilets, take turns grocery shopping, etc."

"Now, if everything was shared, I'd be fine with that."

"But she wants me to handle the kitchen ENTIRELY and split everything else."

"Her argument is, well, you know how much I hate these chores, but I'm willing to split it with you, and that shows how much I want to be a team, as I'm not flat out refusing and being difficult."

"That doesn't make any sense to me."

"First of all, if I'm handling the kitchen for both of us (which is daily), I think it's more than fair for you alone to handle laundry (weekly), cleaning toilets/bathrooms (weekly), etc."

"When I asked her to do my laundry or iron my clothes or anything like that, she'd say that I'm not your maid or your mum. "

"WTF!?"

"Am I not being your private chef?"

"Am I not being your private dishwasher?"

"I'm not throwing it in your face because I'm willing to do it for both of us."

"Also, frankly speaking, I don't care if you 'hate chores.'"

"It's part of being an adult."

"They need to be done, and that's not a good excuse to pin more on your partner because they are able to deal with it better."

"It's just frustrating."

"I honestly thought this would be a I do this for both of us, you do this for both of us, etc., ' which would be so easy, but it's not."

"I don't even think I'm being unreasonable at all. "

"In fact, I think I'm being more than fair."

The OP was left to wonder:

"Well, Reddit, AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA... kitchen chores are the worst."

"Living with someone who doesn’t understand that is a pain."

"Laundry is by far the easiest chore."

"It’s ten minutes of actual work, loading and unloading/putting away." ~ AJSCRPT

"She didn't want to 'mum' you."

"She wants you to 'mum' her." ~ Capt_C004

"Not only that, but the mental load of planning and putting together a whole a** meal(s) every day is a lot."

"I'm lucky my wife is excellent at it, but she does get frustrated with me because if she asks me, my go-to is something in the freezer (ground beef-based usually), so not much variety, haha." ~ Agitated_Dish_6990

"If she refuses to cook, she needs to be in charge of the dishes."

"If she wants no time in the kitchen, then she needs to be in charge of all laundry for the house."

"His, hers, and linens."

"Chores have to be fair."

"OP, I've been stuck cooking for the last 25+ years with only my husband grilling once every few weeks. "

"It gets old fast."

"When I was growing up, my mom cooked, but my dad almost always cleaned afterward if they were both working."

"My husband and I almost ended up divorced early on because I was working full time at a job more stressful than his, caring for our baby/toddler alone after work because he worked 2nd shift, and cooking and cleaning."

"It wasn't sustainable after a few years, and I finally had to stop working and be a SAHM when our second kid had special needs."

"Husband now has a lot of resentment over my not working, and I carry a lot of resentment for the time he left me to drown in work and chores."

"Start as you mean to go on."

"If your girlfriend won't compromise on this, you need to think long and hard about what the future would look like, especially regarding marriage and kids." ~ Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly

"Her idea of splitting chores is suspiciously one-sided in her favor. NTA." ~ pbblankgirl

"If you’re already at this level of score-keeping about chores, I highly advise you to break up."

"It’s not going to get any better once you are married and add pets and kids into the mix." ~ Hayday-antelope-13

"I mean, being at this level of 'keeping scores' can also be the start of a 'new' relationship where both sides reflect their own behaviour and grow from it and get to value each other more."

"No one knows how to be in a great relationship until they do."

"Learning to be in a relationship that lasts, takes its time and work, and is a process... constantly." ~ giantbagmostlywater

"Completely agree."

"I used to do literally everything else when my GF at the time was doing the cooking, and that was only the evening meal daily and breakfast on Sundays."

"Most of my chores I completed in the time it took her to do breakfast. "

"She should just spend the hour or whatever you’re cooking/cleaning to do chores."

"That’s what I did." ~ AJSCRPT

"No one knows how to be in a great relationship until they do."

"This has nothing to do with knowing how to be in a relationship and everything to do with knowing how to be a grown-up."

"Doesn't do dishes cause she doesn't wanna harm her nails?"

"WTF did she do with her dishes before meeting him?"

"Also, gloves exist."

"Both parties are grown-ups, and grown-ups do chores."

"Only difference is that in a relationship, these chores need to be divided equally between partners."

"She doesn't wanna do sh*t and is ironically acting like a child when she told him she's not gonna be his mother."

"No, actually, scratch that."

"Children understand the concept of cleaning up after themselves and doing the dishes."

"This is textbook weaponized incompetence." ~ delinaX

"NTA. The math literally doesn't math here."

"You do 100% of a daily chore (cooking, dishes, cleaning kitchen) for BOTH of you, and she wants to split everything else 50/50??"

"That's not equal, that's her getting a way better deal and calling it teamwork."

"The 'I'm not your maid' thing while you are literally her personal chef is peak hypocrisy."

"Either everything gets split 50/50, including kitchen duties, or you each take full ownership of different chores."

"She can't have it both ways."

"Sit down and actually add up the hours each of you spends on chores per week."

"Bet the numbers make your point better than any argument will." ~ rainb0wg1rll

"NTA - Foot down."

"Tell her you never expected to act like a Dad to someone, either."

"If you have an entire room, only fair she has an entire room, so pick one."

"Bathroom, Laundry Room, pick one that is 100% you."

"I am the kitchen guy as well."

"My wife did all the laundry."

"Everything else was split."

"And don't fear the breakup."

"If you are a guy that actually can keep a kitchen clean and cook, you are better than 80% of the guys out there, and she can try her luck with the next guy." ~ DankVapor

"NTA. Probably time to make a stand and tell her to stop being lazy and start cleaning dishes and cooking."

"People don't like chores, but they do them anyway."

"It's either that or she takes over everything else."

"You mind the kitchen, and she can do everything else - guaranteed it still doesn't add up to the hour or so OP is spending in the kitchen every day cleaning up after her lazy self." ~ badpebble

"Just leave, or this will be how everything goes the rest of your life."

"There's no talking about it because you will be repeating yourself the rest of your days."

"Cut your losses now." ~ Derrick0073

"NTA if she wants everything split, then that can include the kitchen as well."

"The kitchen isn't a small job - benches, food, water, cleaning fridges, cupboards, ovens, floors as well as the dishes themselves - so it's either you take on this, and she takes on an equally big job, then you split the rest, OR everything gets split down the middle and end of."

"Her other option is to pay for a cleaner fortnightly so you're not always responsible for the kitchen." ~ Same-Performer-8406

"NTA, she’s lazy."

"She should do laundry and bathrooms if you cook and clean the kitchen."

"Split groceries." ~ CuddlyClubCEO

Reddit is with you, OP.

It's time for your GF to step up.

You're not the maid.

Stay firm and stand your ground.

Good Luck.