Pregnancy isn’t easy.
It’s a beautiful process in the grand scheme of life, but it comes with side effects.
One of the biggest pregnancy issues is food cravings.
Cravings can hit hard and fast.
But does that mean everyone else around a pregnant person has to give in to the side effects as well?
Redditor throwdranzer wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for preventing my pregnant sister access to my food?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My sister (31 F[emale]) is staying with me temporarily after leaving her husband.”
“I (30 M[ale]) have a small apartment, but I let her move in because she had nowhere else to go and she’s six months pregnant.”
“I wasn’t very pleased about this situation, but she is my sister after all.”
“The main issue has been food.”
“I’m pretty disciplined about what I eat because I am in the bulk stage and hitting the gym regularly.”
“I portion things, label them, and plan for the entire week.”
“But every other day something’s gone.”
“It makes me crazy.”
“She’ll drink all my expensive shakes, polish off meals I’ve prepped for work, eat snacks I’ve saved for post run, and even finish leftovers I was planning to turn into new meals.”
“When I bring it up, she shrugs and says things like ‘Cravings hit hard,’ or ‘Hormones,’ or ‘You are being mean.'”
“I asked her to replace things she finishes or at least ask before taking something.”
“Or hell, manage her own food for God’s sake.”
“She refuses to do anything about it.”
“So last week I ordered a small mini fridge and set it up in my bedroom.”
“It’s just big enough for my meal prep, snacks, and drinks.”
“I didn’t make a scene about it.”
“I just quietly started putting all my stuff there.”
“She noticed two days later and got pissed.”
“She said I was being ‘childish, dramatic, and treating her like a thief.’”
“I calmly told her I was tired of my groceries disappearing and that this was the easiest way to avoid fights.”
“Now she’s sulking and has told our parents after her failed marriage, her brother is also alienating her.”
“And she is just a burden for everyone.”
“My mom called and said, ‘Pregnancy isn’t easy,’ and especially for her situation.”
“I don’t think I’m being cruel.”
“I’m still letting her live here rent-free, and I’ve even offered to order food or cook together, but I just want my food to be left alone.”
“A part of me understands she is going through trouble.”
“But, at my expense?”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Where is she going to stay once the baby is born?”
“You have got bigger problems than groceries, if she won’t even contribute to food costs. NTA.” ~ carlosmurphynachos
“NTA. Sounds very rough and can only imagine she is going through hell, BUT it should not be at (more of) your expense.”
“You were actually very nice by letting her live there rent-free and even getting the mini fridge and separating your food, rather than kicking her out.”
“Also… you are treating her like a thief because she is one, quite literally.”
“If she continues to create drama, you’ll have to tell her to either stop complaining about you storing your food or she needs to leave, because she can’t just keep eating your food without replacing it or even caring.”
“And why are your parents not helping her if they have such opinions?” ~ FuturePurple7802
“NTA, why doesn’t your mom take her in and feed her if she thinks it’s ok?”
“She may be going through a hard time, but she is a whole entire adult.”
“She should really figure out how to feed herself before her baby is born, and she has that responsibility, too.” ~ ASOT-1
“NTA. She may be pregnant, but she’s still a grown woman who can sort her own food out.” ~ Bitter-Paramedic-531
“NTA. Why is she not buying her own groceries?”
“Some women use pregnancy as an excuse for all sorts of bad behavior.”
“Personally, I’d have told her the day she eats one more thing of mine without asking is the day she can pack her sh*t and get out.”
“And if your parents don’t like it, they can take her in.” ~ Wonderful_Two_6710
“I don’t care how pregnant you are, what your cravings are, you do NOT eat other people’s food.”
“Full stop.”
“Pregnancy and cravings are a bad excuse for no impulse control, mooching, and then pouting about it.”
“I’ve got 2 children and 2 grandchildren… their food comes first, no matter what my cravings are.”
“Those kids eat first – even the 30s age kid because that’s still my kid and it’s someone else’s food.” ~ kswilson68
“NTA. Your sister left her husband.”
“That does not mean she lost the ability to grocery shop and cook for herself.”
“Is she not working?”
“If not, then your parents need to step up and provide food for their child and future grandchild.”
“Better yet, they should provide the roof over her head.”
“After all, your Mom knows ‘pregnancy isn’t easy.'” ~ Expensive_Excuse_597
“NTA. She should at least be getting her own groceries if she’s staying with you.”
“Getting a mini fridge isn’t being childish or dramatic, it’s ensuring you still have food.” ~ RaineMist
“NTA, and for your own good, you should get her out of your house ASAP.”
“Especially before she has the baby.”
“No way on this earth do you want to be stuck with a person that doesn’t respect you or your belongings and a newborn.”
“You need them out ASAP.” ~ bdit6
“NTA. She’s very immature for a 31-year-old.”
“She should go live with your parents.”
“What are you going to do when she’s had the baby?”
“Her situation is obviously stressful for her, but your mother seems to be OK with her stealing your food, so let your mother host her in her home and feed her herself.” ~ hadMcDofordinner
“NTA, but you will be to yourself if you don’t stand up for yourself here.”
“She’s pregnant, she’s not made of glass, and she’s not stupid.”
“She knows exactly what she is doing, and she also knows that she’s taking advantage of you.”
“I am not saying to kick her out because I get it that’s your sister and she needs you- but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with her just fully being disrespectful.”
“I’d recommend having a sit-down convo with her and your parents (since she decided to involve them, may as well make sure they have all the info) where you lay out what you’re doing for her and what your expectations and boundaries are.”
“It may seem silly and even like overreacting, but this is your space that you have voluntarily decided to share- that doesn’t mean you have to burn yourself to keep her warm.” ~ confused_friend5467
“NTA. It sounds like you’ve made every effort to be accommodating, and she’s just not taking you up on it.”
“I mean, at the very least, ask before you eat someone else’s food, that’s just common courtesy.” ~ madoracl3
“NTA. Having recently been pregnant with cravings, they’re controllable.”
“If we didn’t have the thing I was craving on hand, I waited.”
“I might’ve been thinking about it constantly, but I generally waited days to weeks before giving in.”
“How is she planning on handling the baby if she can’t even manage her own food?” ~ NoThanks8790
“NTA, but there needs to be a plan put in place.”
“What’s supposed to happen once she has the baby?”
“Why can’t your parents take her in? It’s extremely unfair to expect you, a single man, to deal with a newborn in what’s supposed to be your place.”
“I’d bring things to a head before the baby gets here.” ~ writierthanyou
“NTA, but is a mini fridge really big enough?”
“How long is she planning on staying?”
“Until the kid goes to college?”
“You’ve done the right thing, don’t make it too comfy for her.”
“Pregnant or not, that’s so disrespectful.” ~ Not-That_Girl
“Pregnancy is not an excuse to take somebody else’s food.”
“She needs to learn that she can’t eat everything just because she’s pregnant.”
“When I was pregnant, my doctor told me to balance my meals because being pregnant doesn’t mean you eat for two.”
“Maybe your sister needs to live with your parents because she wants to whine like a child, and if anybody has a problem with it, let them deal with her.”
“I feel bad for you because I don’t think she’s gonna leave your house.” ~ Consistent-Ad3191
“NTA. Keeping your own meal preps to yourself, in your own home, is a reasonable boundary.”
“I’m sure she’s going through a lot, and feeding a pregnant woman is a whole different thing.”
“Here, hormones are likely also messing with her emotions.”
“People fear pregnant women for a reason.”
“I’d say you ride it out and continue to be clear you’re willing to help where you can, but she is your sister, not your wife or child.” ~ Brilliant_County6079
‘NTA. From watching my sister through her pregnancies, I have absolutely no doubt that pregnancy cravings are real and can be super intense.”
“However, self-control are respect are still a thing.”
“My sister never once got into my snacks without asking first, no matter how good they seemed or how bad her craving was.”
“I’m sure many women who have experienced pregnancy can attest to cravings being extreme, but I also think they would be able to recognize the disrespect your sister is showing by eating your food with no regard for you.” ~ missraychelle
“NTA. She’s living there rent-free, she knows she is pregnant and hungry, and she should definitely have been sorting out her own groceries the entire time you have been housing her.” ~ EntireRaise89
Reddit is with you, OP.
It’s your house.
She’s living rent-free.
Yes, she’s going through a lot, but that doesn’t mean she gets to disrespect you.
Maybe she should live with your parents.
Good Luck.