Step-families are odd and difficult to navigate, but when they cross a line, it gets into a new territory: uncomfortable.
What would you do if your step-parent decided to name their new baby the same name as you?
Well, that’s what Reddit user throwawayname003 came up against. And he did not feel great about it.
After reacting in plain sight of his dad and stepmom, they didn’t react so well to his being weirded out, so he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for clarification on whether he was out of line:
“AITA for not wanting my half-brother to have the same name as me?”
Our original poster, or OP, felt awkward about even asking this question:
“This is a really weird question but for some reason it’s turned into a whole issue.”
“When I (16m[ale]) was born my parents named me Giuseppe after my grandpa on my mom’s side.”
“My parents divorced when I was 5 but my mom got sick when was 12 and passed away a year later so I had to go live full time with my dad.”
“2 years ago my dad started dating Kailey until they got married. I’m not close with Kailey but that’s not cause we don’t like each other.”
Kailey and OP aren’t close, but now they’re in the middle of a strange disagreement.
“We just don’t talk a lot and I’m always staying with my grandma or uncle on my moms side when I’m not at my dad’s.”
“They found out they’re pregnant months ago and also learned it’s a boy. Ever since Kailey keeps saying she also wants her son to be named Giuseppe cause she likes the name so much and how it sounds.”
“I straight up told her that’s my name and would be weird having my half bro having the exact same name as me.”
Kailey didn’t see that this was awkward and uncomfortable.
“Kailey said it wasn’t weird at all and I don’t ‘own the name’ so I can’t say it’s mine.”
“She seemed really mad that I called it weird and said I should get used to it because that’s the name they’re deciding on.”
Now Kailey has also gotten mad at OP’s dad.
“My dad backed her up at first but we talked a little more. I just told him it didn’t feel right for us two to have the exact same name and maybe that could be a middle name or something if she likes it so much.”
“He talked to Kailey about changing it as a middle name so the first name can be something else but she just got more mad. Now she says I’m ruining this whole experience by making a big deal over a name.”
“My dad is in the middle, he’s willing to back me up and not let Kailey name their baby that but says I should just let it go.”
But OP can’t figure out if he’s done something wrong.
“My uncle (dad’s brother) and some of my friends agree it’s weird but Kailey is being super cold so idk if I’m wrong here.”
Redditors helped ascertain where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors were just as weirded out as OP.
“That sounds like a psychological horror.”
“First half is pre-new Giuseppe, set up the parent’s relationship, establish the stepmom as constantly trying to remove OP from things (saying his room would be great for a nursery, selling his ‘old’ things to buy baby clothes, etc.), climax in the middle when they are born with the same name (and the evil stepmom also insists that she loves OP’s middle name, so half-bro gets both).”
“Second half is OP’s life slowly unraveling and being given over to his half-brother. Last shot is stepmom and new son recreating an old family photo with Dad, this time with her and new Giuseppe replacing the ex-wife and OP, while OP has entirely vanished.”~LastKnownWhereabouts
“NTA obviously, if it were me I would have said ‘I’m honoured you would name your first born after me.'”
“I would be such a pretentious prig about it that she would no longer want to use the name.”~Mary_the_penguin
“NTA – it is weird for a father to have two son’s with the same name unless I t has a special meaning to him. At this time the name is special as it is your maternal grandfathers. Is your name special to your stepmother at all?”
“Otherwise people may assume she is also naming her son after your maternal grandfather. You have expressed your displeasure of sharing your name with your brother. I suggest a tactic of ensuring your name is associated with you.”
“If you are called a nickname, I suggest insisting you are called by your full name from now on. I am not sure how often you see your Dad and Step-mom but, perhaps you can speak to them more often.”
“Perhaps by saturation, she will become less enamoured with using your name.”
“Otherwise, if she does choose your name, perhaps ask your Dad what he plans to call the baby?”
“I can’t imagine it would be easy for him to call both son’s by the same name. Perhaps your brother can be called The anglicised version (Joe/Joseph)?”~DogsWatchr
“NTA what, they’re gonna start a line of Giuseppes? Wonder what she’ll come up with if the next one is a girl, Giuseppina perhaps.”
“Your father’s partner is rude and it feels like she’s trying to replace you with a newer model she built herself. I’m glad to hear your father is with you on this one.”~ikwilgewoonlezen
In fact it has some strange fairy-tale evil stepmother-like tones to it.
“‘This is my son, Giuseppe, and this is my younger son, Giuseppe.'”
“Like. What. I can’t get over how totally BONKERS this is. I would ask your dad to talk to some of his partner’s friends on this.”
“Do they know what she’s planning? Do they know she already had a stepson with the same name?? What about her family???”
“I can’t believe there’s an entire family out there that would think this is normal behaviour, and hopefully they could talk some sense into her.”
“Please let us know if you find out she has a sibling with the same name as her.”~msmore15
“NTA, but like…what was your dad thinking here, he would introduce his kids at parties or whatever.”
“Everyone would be like “ah yes, Giuseppe One and Giuseppe Two, this is a normal 21st century naming convention.”~raiseyourspirits
“NTA. Sharing family names is one thing, but having it within the same family cluster/generation is weird. Talk to your dad about it again.”
“Talk to the wife about it again. Be like ‘How do you think I’m going to feel when you talk about Giuseppe doing this or that and neither of us are going to know who you mean?”
Or do you plan on starting to call me something else, taking away my name I’ve had my whole life so that you can use this for your new son?”
“You have a son named Giuseppe and I’m right here. I am so not okay with being replaced by a younger brother because someone is feeling insecure about their place in this family.'”
“Give Kailey a pointed look, because that’s where this is coming from. She wants her man to think of her son first, and she’s doing that by giving him his already-there son’s name. That’s some Machiavellian nonsense.”~yay_darkness
“NTA. She is being cruel and she is acting as she wanted to replace you for your dad.”
“If your dad can’t see this and he is not being totally opposed to call his son the same name as you, he is a massive arsehole, not only she is.”~littleOreo95
It feels as though OP’s stepmom is somehow trying to replace him with this new child.
“NTA. NOT ONE BIT.”
“If she doesn’t drop this idea- Tell her that ‘My mom and dad TOGETHER picked out this name for me with love & lots of consideration and it’s and indicative of their love and the great times they spent together and a bonding experience that they shared.”
“Why would you want that to be your son’s name? I am thankful you wanted to include my mom and honour her choice in names, but maybe your kid wouldn’t like that or may not be okay with living under my shadow forever.”
“I hope you are sure you want the reminder that the name was chosen by my parents when they were together.”
“It will always remind me and my dad of my mom, and maybe that’s why dad is okay with the name. If you’re okay with this reminder and can live with it, great for you.'”
“She is acting extremely weird.”~young_and_dumb_at_22
“If this was a step brother – one that was already here and named when your dad met Kailey – that’s wouldn’t be weird.”
“If you were already dead (lol j/k), then it wouldn’t be weird.”
“As it is, it sounds to me like Kailey might be trying to replace you with her son.”
“Also, she probably hasn’t thought about how difficult this might make things in the future – if your identity and his get mixed up, it might be nigh on impossible to straighten things out.”
“Also, when your dad passes away, he’d have to be extra super duper careful with his will to make sure Kailey doesn’t grab the stuff meant for you and give it to her son.”
“NTA. Yes, you can own a name if you’re the one who is named that.”~Laramila
“NTA. She says you don’t own the name so can’t claim it as yours, except that’s how names work. You say your name is Giuseppe.”
“Her logic is dumb. And the whole thing reeks of trying to cut you out of the family. Maybe bring that up: that it’s hard to see this as anything other than her replacing you.”
“Also, ruining the experience of naming a baby? Is it that special of a moment? And how would her stealing your name not be seen as her possibly ruining your relationship with her and your half-brother? She is so selfish.”~DarthCakeN7
“NTA, and if she pushes through, consider changing your last name when you turn 18 to maybe your mother’s maiden name. Then there is a difference in this identity legally. Your dad might hate that.”
“It’s mega weird to have 2 kids with the same name that’s used permanently and your stepmom sounds very stupid.”
“It’s not as weird to have it as a middle name. Point out to your dad that it improves the identity theft possibilities and do take steps for that if she does continue. /personalfinance has some info about that.”~Doughchild
It’s unclear whether OP’s stepmom is just being weird or is planning something sinister.
Either way, OP is not at fault—and hopefully his new half-brother won’t be his namesake.