Insecurity is an almost inherent trait of one’s teenage years. Even the most popular students find themselves insecure about one thing or another, especially when it comes time for their senior prom.
There is little more intimidating or stress-inducing to some teenagers than the prospect of not having a date to the prom.
The stakes of the senior prom were unusually high for Redditor Sweet_Sugar2189, as her prom came with a graded component.
Thankfully, the original poster (OP) was feeling pretty good about it, as she and her boyfriend were well prepared for this. However, her seemingly obvious dance partner did not please the mother of a fellow student, who had no trouble giving the OP a piece of her mind.
Wondering if she had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my classmate’s mom that she should look at her son before blaming me for not choosing him as a prom partner?”
The OP explained why her prom date caused a bit of tension with the parent of another student:
“Hello, this just happened very recently, and I know that what I said was rude, but am I really in the wrong here?”
“So, I (16 F[emale]) got into an argument with my classmate (let’s call him ‘G’ for easier explanation)’s mom since apparently I was hating on him for not choosing him as my partner for the upcoming prom.”
“Just a little background:”
“I think it was on Wednesday last week when we finalized the partners for the prom next year because we would begin practicing the dance performance.”
“Since I was not openly saying to everyone that I already had my partner, my boyfriend (17 M[ale]).”
“The teacher who helped with partnering up the students assumed I was still free and asked me if I was willing to become G’s partner, and I obviously refused because I had one already.”
“Then, he didn’t say a thing about it, and I assumed that the teacher would probably just ask someone from the lower grade (the girls in our class weren’t enough to pair with all the boys, so we would be taking some girls from the lower level to fill in the spot).”
“The next day, my adviser just suddenly told me that a parent was looking for me and told me to go to the guidance room, and I did when the event happened with G’s mom.”
“She saw me and began complaining about how dare I refuse to go to prom with her son when I should be honored to be paired with him, and I was just like, ‘????’, and really confused since it wasn’t like I rudely refused G and even said yesterday (I meant like the day when they were choosing partners) that I couldn’t since I was with someone.”
“Here is the part where I probably end up being rude since I told her that even if I didn’t have a partner, I wouldn’t choose her son, and she should look at her son before blaming me.”
“G was the kind of boy that was egoistic and really noisy; plus, I really didn’t like him since every time we would be doing dance activities in the past, he would just run away to play with his friends and barely give any effort to dance, and I couldn’t have that since prom was a graded performance.”
“Everyone in the room became silent, and the teacher somewhat scolded me for disrespecting the mom, but soon let me off since she knew that other than my words, I didn’t do anything wrong and just made me apologize, then let me leave since she would be handling the rest.”
“This became really long, but am I the wrong one?”
“I live in the philippines, so i’m not American; i am a Filipina.”
“Yes, our prom is graded.”
“It has a choreography.”
“The grading is for our physical education (pe) subject since that subject consists of traditional dances, and it has been like this.”
“I meant that the dance is graded in prom.”
“No, our whole prom is not graded.”
“It’s only the performance in the first part, but the rest is up to us to have fun.”
“I’m in a private school and the Philippines so that things may run differently in our country.”
“Yes, I’ve told my parents about the situation and then talked to the teachers about it.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community stood firmly behind the OP, agreeing that she was not the a**hole for talking back to G’s mother.
Everyone agreed that if anyone was at fault in this situation, it was the OP’s teacher for giving G’s mother to talk to the OP in this inappropriate manner:
“NTA.”
“Very creepy that a parent was allowed to speak to an unrelated minor.”
“It would be quite reasonable for your parents to get enraged that the school thought this was ok.”
“I know I am quite angry on your behalf.”- Saffron-Kitty
“It’s really disturbing that a parent was allowed to speak to another child.”
“If I were you, I would ask my parent to raise it as an issue with the head teacher and ask for an apology.”
“You are NTA.”
“You can take anyone you want or no one to prom.”
“If he had wanted actually to ask you to prom he had plenty of time.”
“Clearly, he did not, and he’s got no right to expect you to come without discussion.”
“Is there any reason reason why the mum is so upset?”
“Any reason why this boy has no social skills?”- Witty_Detail_2573
“Forget if you’re an a**hole (You’re definitely NTA) and focus on going home and telling someone about the f*cking absolute goober of a school staff member that organized a meeting between an angry parent and a student that WAS NOT HER F*CKING CHILD.”
“That’s completely unacceptable, and if I were your parent I’d be ready to hand someone their a** over this. They literally set you up to be bullied into submission by a grown woman.”- Emotional-Base-5988
“NTA.”
“You already had a date/partner prior to pairing up, OP. It’s not your fault that G wasn’t paired up with you. G’s mom sounds entitled.”
“Don’t give her (or G) another thought.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong.”- No-Alarm-2208
“NTA.”
“Your teacher has handled things badly from start to finish.”
“Your teacher should never have put you in that position with the mother.”
“You or your parents should kick up murder with management/administration.”- Secure-Score4899
“NTA.”
“You could have stopped at having a partner already, but if her son’s annoying I get adding that.”
“Weird situation with the graded dance.”
“I’m from the US, where prom is just a glorified dress-up party for the kids without serious disciplinary problems.”
“Sounds like, in your case, if there are people who wouldn’t want to go to prom they have no choice since a dance is graded.”
“And because prom’s just a party here, when I graduated a semester early, I couldn’t go to my senior prom unless a current student invited me.”
“Got invited by a friend, then told 2 weeks before that he got a gf, so he’d be taking her instead.”
“Waste of a cute dress.”- Puzzled_Velocirapt0r
“NTA.”
“Congratulations for already understanding you have the right to say ‘no’ and standing your ground.”- OrciEMT
“NTA.”
“But holy crap that mother is teaching her son a REALLY damaging lesson about consent. “
“Women should be honored to be paired with him?”
“Idgaf who he is, get out of here.”- LittleTeapot7263
“NTA.”
“Have you discussed this with your parents?”
“The school administration directly supported an adult attacking a 16-year-old student over something that the adult had no business interfering in.”
“This is horrid..”- WhereWeretheAdults
“I do feel like you should not have been in that room without having one of your parents with you in the first place.”
“The fact that a parent of a classmate can just arrange a meeting like that to get mad at a minor is wild.”
“Maybe your parents can file a complaint at the school?”
“Either way, NTA, and have fun at the prom with your boyfriend!”- RealHousewivesYapper
“NTA.”
“This woman will have to accept, sooner or later, that her son is a d*ck.”- 3batsinahousecoat
G, by all means, had every right to be disappointed that he didn’t get to go to prom with the girl of his dreams. However, his mother had no right to scold the OP for turning him down, mainly as it was for no other reason than she already had a date.
It’s fair to say the OP’s reaction wasn’t the most mature.
But it was behavior befitting a teenage girl, something the behavior of G’s mother sadly was as well.