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Teen’s Family Resentful After Learning How Much He Has Been Baking For His Girlfriend

A teenage boy works with dough

Baking can be an intimate experience.

Some people love to just bake their hearts away, especially if they’re baking for others.

Everyone loves a homemade dessert.

That’s why bakers may want to be careful of who they leave off the list of who gets the goods, any who doesn’t.

Case in point…

Redditor CrackSnapYo wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA For Not Baking Much For My Family?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I [16 M[ale]] started dating my girlfriend 2 years ago.”

“I also got super super into baking around that time.”

“I bake a lot.”

“My girlfriend loves desserts.”

“So I’ve given her a ton of stuff I bake, all kinds of different stuff.”

“I often try to bake something new and then she gets to try something new.”

“I honestly love baking way more than eating it.”

“My girlfriend is the opposite.”

“Well recently she gave me a scrapbook she made.”

“She had counted every thing I baked her apparently, and she gave me this scrapbook after I baked her, her 100th dessert.”

“It was filled with a picture of every dessert I’ve baked and pictures of me baking and her eating.”

“She wrote a paragraph about each item I baked.”

“Each item was dated too.”

“She had been working on this for 2 years.”

“She also wrote a long letter on how proud she is of my baking hobby, thanking me for the sweets, and telling me how much she loves me.”

“It was the sweetest gift I’ve ever gotten and I honestly cried.”

“I showed my mom and sister expecting them to think its cute but they were pissed.”

“They were angry I’ve spent so much time baking for my girlfriend and not them.”

“I just got into this habit and I loved making my girlfriend happy as well since she loves desserts.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA – you and your girlfriend sound sweet and your family sounds bitter.”  ~ vandajoy

“NTA – OP, don’t let their reaction sour you.”

“Your family is salty they didn’t get any sweet treats.”

“Tang in there!”  ~ REDDIT

“NTA… and your mom does indeed sound bitter.”

“But mate I am so happy your girlfriend cares so much, and that you give her something meaningful that takes time, and effort.”

“Time is the most expensive thing in the world.”

“It is impossible to get more of it, so every hour you spend baking for someone worth’s more than anything you can buy with money.”

“And that is brilliant.”

O”P you are an awesome bloke!”

“Do not let bitter people tell you differently.”  ~ yago1980

“NTA. As a fellow baker f**k them.”

“It’s really annoying when you have a skill and family thinks they’re entitled to the benefits of said skill.”

“Had my brother’s dad expect me to make a wedding cake for his daughter at one point.”

“For free mind you.”  ~ Toxic_Flareon

“My family is the same way.”

“They think they since I’m good at art and getting an art degree they’re allowed to demand me draw them anything they want and if I even mention how are they going to pay me they get super offended.”

“They also seem to think that since I’m good at one or two types of art I can do EVERY single type of art really well, which is simply not true.”

“My grandma got mad at me when she forced me to decorate a blank shirt and it turning out bad even though I had never decorated a shirt in my life.”

“She thought I purposely made it bad just because I’m good at drawing.”  ~ keepmeworm

“And look how much G[irl]F[riend] appreciated what you had been doing.”

“She secretly made a scrapbook for you of everything you made for her.”

“Now that is Sweet and you are NTA!”  ~ pisspot718

“Given you’re living at home and your mum and sister had to have been at least somewhat aware of the frequency of your baking (100 dishes in two years seems like roughly once a week… often enough to be noticeable).”

“It’s really strange to me that they’re just deciding to be mad about this now.”

“Surely if this was a real issue it could have been raised much earlier. NTA.”  ~ eniretakia

“NTA… it’s your hobby and your choice.”

“But generally baking produces a lot of baked goodies, so maybe you could save your family one or two items as a sign of goodwill?”

“Not that I think you’re morally obligated to do that, but it would be nice.”  ~ AdvicePino

“Totally agree. Yes he isn’t obligated to do so, and NTA, but he also doesn’t need to be spiteful about it.”

“Presuming he loves his family, what’s wrong with an olive branch?”

“A minor disagreement about baked goods doesn’t have to become a family dispute.”

“He’s also 16, so learning how to be agreeable (not a pushover, but just understanding where the other party is coming from) is a great life skill.”

“I personally can’t imagine making hundreds of food items and not also sharing some of it with other people in the household occasionally.”

“Not because I’m obligated to, but because sharing is caring.”

“He also didn’t specify how they broached it.”

“Was it ‘Wow, you’re such a selfish prick.'”

“Or was it ‘Wow! You’ve made her so many treats, we wish we could try some too.'”  ~ nononanana

“Definitely NTA – since they provide nothing you owe them nothing.”

“Personally unless they asked yoi to bake something for them id give them an ingredient list so its a fair trade.”  ~ uberninja25

“NTA – it’s your choice to bake for whoever you want.”

“If they want to bake/spend time with you they should ask.”  ~ onebigcoochie

“They really did not react well.”

“It became ME ME ME with no appreciation at all.”

“This was cute AF to read before the family reacted!”

“All they did is encourage OP not to share moments of his life with them.”

“Parents who jump down their kids throats about their hobbies shouldn’t be surprised when they don’t tell you anything. NTA.”  ~ conditionalinterest

“NTA, but your girlfriend is so cute and sweet that I can’t even focus on how big of a**holes your family is.”  ~ Horses77

“NTA, OMG OP. Dust that s**t off.”

“It’s a couples thing they are just salty they didn’t get treats, or an amazing scrap book (I bet no one will ever make them something so nice).”

“Maybe if you wanted to make them some extra cookies that would be cool of you.”

“That is a super sweet way for your GF to tell you that your efforts are appreciated.”

“Some people feel entitled to the efforts of their family members (siblings, children) this is not so.”

“If you had been drawing her art (they would be salty) if you had been writing her poetry, if you had been growing her flowers etc.”

“My question is how did they not notice… Your new hobby?”

“How much time do they spend asking after you?”

“Maybe if they paid any interest in your hobby they would have scored extra cookies.”  ~ Kantotheotter

“My mom is a baker and she would always bake cakes for social events and parties at church or work, but she rarely seemed to spend the time to make anything our family could eat.”

“So we’d get to smell delicious food we were never going to get any taste of.”

“I never felt necessarily entitled to her baking, but it was hurtful that she’d rather spend that time for other people and not her family.”

“I can understand why his family would be hurt that he’s uninterested in sharing with them ever.”

“Especially as to an adult, a relationship between 16 year olds doesn’t seem likely to be permanent.”

“I’d still say NTA, but I can understand if his family is hurt he doesn’t want to share his talents with them.”  ~ AzureShell

“Baking is pretty hard to not notice though like I make so much noise even when I’m trying to be quiet.”

“Pots and pans hit each other, whisks and spoons clank, flour and sugar inevitably get everywhere, things take up space in the fridge and freezer, etc.”

“Like unless their family absolutely never ever goes into the kitchen or have rooms real far from it, it’s impossible they’ve just never noticed.”  ~ cactuskirby

“I’m gonna say NAH actually.”

“I don’t think you’re intentionally ignoring them, but you’re 16.”

“You live with your family, there’s probably a pretty good chance they’re providing for you, can you really blame them for being a little bit upset by the amount of work you’ve put in for your gf that you haven’t for them?”

“I mean, I’m sure no one could expect you to make them 100 desserts but you live there, I’m assuming they’re making you dinner, surely you could… make dessert?”

“I don’t think you’re the a**hole, you’re 16, this kinda thing doesn’t usually occur to teenagers, but I don’t think they’re the a**hole for asking.”  ~ bellbottombossanova

“That honestly sounds like the sweetest gift, I’d probably start bawling if someone took that much time to show me how much they appreciate me.”

‘I hope you guys stay happy.”

“Don’t let your family bring you down.”

“You bake for whomever you want to.”

“It’s your time and energy.”  ~ Sarin031

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

Sounds like your skills are in demand.

After some fantastic shared desserts all will probably be well.