Teen Blasts Parents On Social Media For Lying About Why She Wasn't At Their Destination Wedding

Content Warning: Family Abandonment, Child Neglect, Scapegoat, Black Sheep

We all like to think that fairy tales like Cinderella and holiday movies like Home Alone are just that: entertainment, stories, and fantasies.

But for some, they strike horribly close to home, empathized the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit.

Redditor Forgotten_child9 had felt forgotten by her family her entire life. No matter how she tried to involve herself in family activities, she was always excluded, and that was all the more true while her parents were planning their belated wedding.

But when they tried to lie to guests about why she wasn't in attendance, citing her as too ill to attend, the Original Poster (OP) called them out on social media, saying she wasn't sick at all.

She asked the sub:

"AITAH for exposing my parents when they forgot about me on their wedding?"

The OP's family forgot to involve her in her parents' destination wedding plans. Completely. 

"I know this seems like a weird situation, but I just feel so angry and depressed that I feel the need to vent even if no one is listening. So I (17 Female) was recently forgotten about on the day of my parents wedding."

"My parents have been together for about 25 years, but they never actually got married."

"That's why when my dad (50 Male) proposed to my mother (49 Female) on their anniversary (which they have always celebrated on the date my mother found out she was pregnant with my eldest sister, even though they were already together before that), everyone, including me, was elated and celebrated the occasion with great joy."

The OP had looked on her entire life as she was excluded from her family.

"This happened all the way back in February. They immediately jumped into wedding planning, deciding very early on a small event in Hawaii with just the closest family and friends for an intimate ceremony."

"Almost immediately, my mother asked my sister (25 Female) to be her Maid of Honor, and my dad asked my brother (22 Male) to be his Groomsman."

"I wasn't surprised or offended by this; my sister had always been a mommy's girl and they both enjoyed spending time with each other shopping and socializing so they had a very close bond. The same goes for my father and brother; they always played football together and messed around with cars; my father even trained my brother's team for a while in middle school."

"That had always left me as the odd one out: I tried to insert myself into my family's hobbies and groups that they had within our home but was always rebuffed. Maybe they could sense that my interest on their activities wasn't all that genuine or maybe they just didn't care."

"Either way, I was used to being the last and least important member of my family. Mom had sis and dad had bro, my parents had each other and my two siblings were closer to each other than they ever were to me, leaving me very lonely and isolated in my own home."

The OP continued to look on in silence as she was excluded from the wedding.

"During the preparation for the wedding, initially it was suggested that I be the flower girl, but my sister thought that role would be more appropriate for her daughter (3 Female), so that idea was quickly tossed away."

"Later on, my maternal grandmother suggested that I might read a poem or do a little bit of a speech during the ceremony, but both my parents refused because they wanted the wedding to be 'low key,' and they didn't think a 'cheesy and sappy speech would fit their vision' (their literal words)."

"I was still okay with all of this, even though it hurt to know I would be the only member of the family to not actually be part of the wedding party or have any role at all on the day."

"As the day approached, my parents and siblings got more and more caught up on all the wedding planning."

"I noticed my mom didn't invite me dress shopping, and that whenever they would have discussions about the venue or the event, I was left out, so I decided to see if they would realize that I wasn't being involved at all and kept quiet, waiting for them to ask me something, anything, about the wedding but that never happened."

It all came to a head the day before leaving for the destination wedding.

"The wedding was set for three weeks ago, the end of August. The day before the departure, my mother casually asked if I had my luggage ready because we couldn't be late to the airport."

"I bluntly told her that I hadn't prepared anything."

"She got confused for a second and then snapped at me for not being prepared."

"I then asked her if I even had a ticket and her face went pale. Yep, they hadn't even bought me a ticket, and I'm not even sure if I had a room or any accommodations once there. Even though I was the only person in my family without an stable income (I work as a part-time baby-sitter) my parents had bought first class tickets for my siblings and the couple other friends that were attending the wedding but had forgotten me."

"My mom told me not to make a big deal out of it and that they can just find me a low-cost ticket last minute from a cheap airline, but I just replied by asking her, 'Then what? Do I even have a dress for the ceremony?' I reminded her that she went with my sister to buy hers and all the other female guests months ago, but I wasn't included."

"That's when my father came in and just told me to suck it up and that I've never been a girly girl so I could just wear whatever."

"I got mad at this because, even though I'm not the most feminine girl in the planet, I would have loved to be included in such an important part of my parents wedding, and it was about the fact that I was excluded for literally everything that had been going on for months."

"We all got into a fight with them calling me entitled and accusing me of making myself small intentionally so they would forget me (like that is a valid excuse for ignoring a child). They ended up telling me that if I was going to keep this attitude, I might as well skip the whole thing altogether."

"I responded with a defiant, 'Fine,' and went to my room. The next morning, they all left for Hawaii without me."

The OP decided not to sit in silence while her parents lied about her absence.

"The ceremony was really small, but they all posted loads of pictures on Instagram and Facebook about how perfect and magical that whole week was."

"People realized quickly that I wasn't in any of the photos and asked my parents why, to which they replied that unfortunately I had caught [the pandemic virus] before the trip and had to stay behind."

"My blood boiled at this, I don't know why this was the straw that broke the camel back for me, but it was."

"I decided to take a virus test and published a picture of myself holding the negative test and captioned it, 'Not sick at all, just forgotten.'"

"I tagged everyone that had questioned my absence from the trip and the wedding in the picture and, for good measure, also every person invited to it. I also wrote in the comments about how my parents had literally forgotten about anything to do with me until the day before parting and how they actually uninvited me."

"Most people were on my side, and others couldn't believe it and thought there must be something more to the story than what I was saying."

"One thing is for certain, I completely ruined my parents' wedding. Their day was overshadowed by my confession."

The family lashed out at the OP.

"At first, I felt quite satisfied with myself for standing up on my own but, after a barrage of messages from my family calling me every name in the book and later, when they came back, them furiously attacking me for my immature actions and my spoiled behavior my pride deflated quickly, and I began to feel awful."

"I hate my family, and I hate being in this house, but I'm a minor and can't leave just yet. I do feel like I could've handled the situation better, though, and now I feel so depressed that I'm second guessing everything I did, from not speaking up before to the way I exposed them."

"I also feel guilty for the lack of connection between all of my family and me and maybe I could've done more?"

"AITAH?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

• NTA: Not the A**hole
• YTA: You're the A**hole
• ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
• NAH: No A**holes Here

Some reassured the OP that she wasn't wrong to call the family out.

"So their wedding day was ruined because they got exposed, not because you weren't there? Parents of the Century." - nick4424

"OP, their reactions and being indifferent until called out publicly leads me to think that their 'happiness' is strictly performative."

"NTA and I sincerely wish you the best. Please reach out to sympathetic family members if you can do so safely." - firedmya**

"NTA. They made themselves look bad. Don't buy into how they try to spin this." - PossibleAd1348

"NTA."

"Your parents f**ked up. They know it. Your siblings also f**ked up. They also know it."

"And you weren't making them look bad with your social media posts. You were correcting a lie."

"I hope you are able to qualify for a full-ride scholarship, because something tells me you don't have much of a college fund, if any." - Front_Rip4064

"Holy cow, now the entire world knows your sperm and egg donors are terrible parents AND liars."

"They'll never recover from this, this kind of gossip is just too juicy to not repeat for years and years to anyone and everyone. And there's a high chance, at least one of the invitees is going to either be, or be related to, a gossip."

"NTA." - Stormy8888

Others empathized with what the OP was going through.

"I know some here think this is a fake story, and I really hope it is. Unfortunately, I know families like this. I am the oddball in my family and have had similar experiences but not to this extent."

"You did absolutely nothing wrong. They made no attempts to include you in the planning or the ceremony. They lied about why you were not there. If your truth will make you bad, then you did something wrong. That's on them."

"NTA." - Altruistic-Bunny

"My father actively hated me and set out to not include me in anything. I don't know what's worse, deliberate exclusion or benign neglect. Either way, I hope OP gets the f**k outta dodge, and cuts these s**tty people out of her life. She's NTA at all." - LadyBladeWarAngel

"I have a similar family dynamic to OP although I'm the oldest. I wasn't asked to go on family vacations, my birthday was always forgotten about. If my mom and younger siblings wanted to go out to eat for family dinner while I was at work, they would leave and not say a word to me."

"OP, NTA. Don't let them make you feel guilty. As soon as I could I moved out. Didn't say a word to anyone in my immediate family, just packed a bag and was gone. I'm no contact with everyone but my little sister and even she is on 'probation' with regards to visits and hanging out." - AcaliahWolfsong

"Can I give you some foreshadowing from the perspective of the fifth boy of my siblings?"

"Being forgotten is secretly a blessing. As an adult, I have no family problems. No calls on Christmas, no obligations for Thanksgiving or Easter. No annoying trips to spend an awkward weekend together. I don't have to call my parents on mother's/father's day."

"As soon as i turned 18, I stepped out of the picture and let my family bicker and drama amongst themselves. F*ck 'em! Make your plan today. Then go low-to-no contact."

"College is the best route for getting the f**k out. Start looking for work and planning your income/expenses, OR, if you're charismatic, just go set up shop in a romantic partner's life."

"I made my own family and its f*cking bad@ss and adorable and happy every day." - voidmusik

"I can't give you advice on how to make your family see you, I can only give you this: It's not your fault."

"The age gap is too big. They have lots in common, and they understand each other, but there was a generational gap between you and them. And that's why you can't build a bridge."

"They have to come to you and help you to build, but if they don't do that, you won't succeed."

"So here's what I did:"

"At a certain point, I've let go. I let them do their thing and concentrated on myself. I spend all my energy becoming the best person I could, working on my communication skills, on my qualifications, finding a good job, and pouring myself into my relationship and making my own family."

"It hurts immensely, and it is difficult, but I found my happiness by letting them go and categorizing them as 'friendly neighbors.' I smiled and happily accepted every bone they threw me, but I didn't try to get more or make room for them in my plans." - PrancingRedPony

A few days later, the OP shared a promising update in another post.

"Hi everyone! I wanted to write an update earlier but I'm still kind of a mess at the moment, but I figured since my post had such an overwhelming response and so many people commented and sent me messages that I should write about the latest developments."

"First of all, let me start by thanking all who commented on my post and shared their own experiences or points of view on my situation. Thank you so much. A few days ago, I could barely find the energy to get out of bed, and my family's comments made me really believe that I was guilty for all that had passed. But after seeing the responses to my post and all the support you guys were giving me, I felt somewhat reaffirmed in my actions and feelings towards my family."

"I'm still fighting the feelings of guilt and depression, but whenever I start to spiral, I think about how much this community of strangers has had my back, and I try to calm myself down with your words."

"Thanks to your input and advice, I finally decided to call my grandma and tell her the full story. Just to clarify a point before going on, I said this in the comments, but I feel like I should put it here also: my grandma (77 Female) did not attend the wedding. She lives several states away and has mobility issues, so she doesn't travel anymore."

"We went to visit her around Easter, and that's when she commented that I might read a poem at the ceremony, but that was the last time I saw her in person before all this."

"She's always been very loving to me and has called out my parents in the past for their favoritism, but is hard for her to play a more active role in my upbringing since she lives so far, and I am always worried about bothering her due to her age and health condition (She had a minor stroke a few years back and is now back to normal, but I still worry)."

The OP explained everything to her grandma, who was wholly supportive of her.

"Anyway, I called her and laid out everything that had happened with the wedding and how my parents didn't even buy me a ticket to go with them."

"She came to the same conclusion that most commenters did when I told her that it was simply impossible that they had forgotten and that they did it on purpose."

"I cried on the phone with her, laying out how I was feeling, how this has been going on forever, how I feel in the aftermath, and most importantly, about my need to get out."

"She was extremely sweet and comforting to me and told me that I had nothing else to worry about because she had my back 100% and told me to take it easy but make plans for my future and that she'd help me."

The OP also connected with a friend to see about moving out.

"After that conversation, which lasted about two hours, I felt better, and I decided to listen to her and start moving to figure something out for the next school year."

"I have a friend who is going to lease a studio next to our future campus. She has a great relationship with her parents, but she has five younger siblings and wants to be more independent, so that's why she decided to move out."

"I asked her if I could move in with her temporarily and that I would pay her rent as soon as I got a job."

"She immediately accepted and told me not to worry about rent or anything else until I was in a better position, and we had a good cry together when I told her all about my parent's wedding incident."

The OP's relationship with her family was more strained than ever.

"So this all happened a couple days ago, and I was planning on doing the update then, but my grandma called my parents and my siblings to lecture them about how they were treating me."

"My brother just sent me a text afterward with a half-hearted apology, saying that he didn't know I wasn't included and that he just thought I wouldn't have fun on the trip, and he assumed I posted the pic just to create drama."

"My sister, on the other hand, berated me and told me that I kept trying to make public my own problems and pinning them on my family when they were all innocent."

"It has been weird with my parents ever since they came back from the trip and, at first they berated me and were furious with me and, after that, we've just been ignoring each other."

"After my grandma called them, they came into my room, telling me that if I wanted to put this whole issue to rest, I should shut up about it and that this could all had already blown over if only I had kept my mouth shut."

"I just asked them to leave my room, and then I called my grandma again to tell her what had gone down."

"She then told me that she and my uncle had bought plane tickets to come down to see me."

"This was something that I was actually scared about because my grandma's health is not the best and this kind of effort is a lot for her, and I know how complicated it is for her to get on a plane."

"I tried to dissuade her from coming and told her everything would be okay, but she wouldn't listen and told me that she was long overdue a conversation with my parents and that she wanted to see me."

The OP felt mixed emotions, including worry and relief.

"I'm stressed for her, and I feel again like I forced her to take a long, uncomfortable trip because of me and that maybe I should have dealt with this myself."

"I do want to see her, and I wish for nothing more than to hug her right now, but I'm worried about her. At least my uncle (mom's older brother) is coming with her, but I hope she doesn't exhaust herself or nothing happens to her because that would break me."

"They arrive tomorrow and have not informed my parents of their trip. My grandma asked me to keep it to myself until she gets here."

"I don't know. I'm worried about her having to do so much for me and bothering her, but I also appreciate and love her so much for doing all this for me."

"I hope she is able to make my parents see the mistake in their actions or, at the very least, help me break the news to them that I'm moving out very soon, and I plan on being no contact with them."

Fellow Redditors were left rooting for the OP, her grandmother, and her uncle.

"Meemaw coming in hot with a wheelchair, oxygen tank, and a whole bottle of a** whuppin' for OP's parents, and I am here for it!" - BurgerQueen69

"Wow, your grandma is amazing! It's so great that she has your back and is willing to stand up to your parents. And don't worry about her making the trip, she sounds like a strong and determined woman."

"Plus, you deserve to have someone on your side who will fight for you. Keep us updated on how everything goes with your family, and remember, you have a whole community here to support you. Best of luck with your future plans!" - rubiebabyyy

"NTA. Your Grandma sounds like a tough cookie, just hug her tight when she arrives! Your parents and siblings want you to 'shut up' so people won't know how horrible they are."

"You've done the right thing by showing others who they really are! I hope your grandma and uncle blast them! Take care of yourself and go live a fabulous life without these AHs." - Shutupandplayball

"Don't worry, OP, she has your uncle with her. He'll take care of her on the travel and make sure she doesn't stress out too much."

"She'll be able to get the wheelchair service at the airport (which is honestly awesome because as the person going with her, your uncle will also get the expedited service of the front of the security line, first boarding group, avoiding crowded areas of the airport)."

"And then when they arrive, you will have two people there to support you. Your Grandma means business!" - dumbogirl1

"Grandma is good people and sounds so strong. So don't worry that much, OP! She's got you."

"Your parents are terrible. As a minor, it's on them, not you, to have done all that stuff for you, and they deserve to be called on their favoritism and idiocy. Stay strong!" - gelseyd

The subReddit was appalled for the OP and how she had been treated her entire life by her immediate family, but the wedding planning was the final series of straws.

Since she was turning 18 in a month and a half anyway, the subReddit hoped she could gift herself with a new home, a new life, and no contact with these people.