It’s becoming more and more common for children to have same-sex parents.
And be they adopted or through surrogacy, they are otherwise just like any ordinary family.
Some might even think that children of gay parents are extremely fortunate, as they’ll be raised by parents who will teach their children the importance of treating others with compassion, having grown up facing adversity themselves.
There are others, however, who are so closed minded that they simply will not accept that LGBTQ couples should be parents.
Redditor ThrowRAhelplost was sad to discover that the parents of his girlfriend felt this way.
So much so, that his girlfriend even made a shocking request regarding an upcoming social occasion.
One that the original poster (OP) was less than inclined to oblige.
But worrying he was overreacting, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole’ (AITA), where he asked Fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not wanting to hide that my moms are gay to my girlfriend’s parents?”
The OP shared how when it came time for their families to meet, his girlfriend made a request regarding his parents which made the OP more than a little uncomfortable.
“I’m 17 and started going out with my girlfriend 7 months ago.”
“We were already chatting before school went online and I asked asked her out after.”
“So her parents wants to meet mines when it’s safe to do that and have dinner at their house.”
“I’m cool with that and my moms are too.”
“But girlfriend told me that her parents don’t know I have 2 moms and she doesn’t want them to because they’re not raging homophobes and they don’t like that.”
“She just says it will make them feel weird and uncomfortable and asked if only one of my moms could go.”
“Idk, I just don’t see why I gotta lie.”
“If we stayed together obviously they will find out and also that would be mean to ask my moms if one of them not go.”
“I never been embarrassed about it or weird so don’t see why it even matters.”
“My girlfriend has been pissed at me ever since and she just tells me to do it so it’s not uncomfortable for her parents.”
“Even my friends are saying it’s not a big deal and it’s not like I’ll get grounded for asking my moms to do this.”
“I’m caught in the middle here cause I don’t wanna lie about my moms or exclude one them but everyone is acting like I’m being the ass for not doing this thing.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for refusing to hide his gay mothers from his girlfriend’s parents.
Everyone agreed that the OP was being a good son, and had nothing to be ashamed of in being the child of same sex parents, with many questioning if the OP should even stay in this relationship if this is a problem to his girlfriend.
“The embarrassment your GF is fearing now will be 1000% more when they find out you lied about it.”
“From her parent side, you lied about something major, and aren’t now trustworthy.”
“From your parents side, annoyance to the GF about her wanting you to lie.”
“From her parents, anger that your GF pulled this sh*t.”
“From your parents, sadness because you went along with it, they’ll be asking if you are ashamed of them.”
“Thats a whole bunch of crazy that can be avoided.”- bitternerdette
“NTA and I think you should consider whether this girl really values you if she wants you to hide your family.”
“She’s concerned about how her parents would feel, but she doesn’t seem to mind hurting yours.”
“Your parents may not ground you for asking, but they are likely to be hurt.”
“It doesn’t sound like that’s something you want.”- kdsexologist
“But your GF and other friends certainly are.”- PinkedOff
“Oh hey, it’s my time to shine!”
“I am an 80’s baby who had two moms growing up.”
“And I still do, although I am not currently growing up just growing old.”
“Having two moms back in the day was super unusual, odd, irregular and some might have even said extremely weird.”
“I was terrified of people finding out and treating me differently.”
“Obviously when I was little, I had less of an idea that my family made some other families really uncomfortable, so my friends and classmates from young childhood knew about my moms.”
“By middle school though, I would go to great pains to conceal the truth, even so far as lying, begging my parents to lie, and not inviting them to functions where I thought people would see them together.”
“Suffice to say I have great guilt over this, and even though it was a different time in our culture it was still cruel to treat my parents like they were ruining my life.”
“I learned the hard way that if you’re getting red flags that someone might not be accepting of your family, it’s for good reason.”
“I’m grateful that I have my amazing parents in my life, and equally grateful that I no longer accept anyone who finds them ‘weird’ or has a single mean word to say about my family unit.”
“Don’t allow anyone in your life who you can’t be yourself around, period.”
“My mom is gay and the second my partner asked if one one of my moms could attend a dinner that would have been the end of the relationship.”
“That’s never, ever, going to be okay with me.”
“She has shown you where she stands on this.”
“In you can talk to her but honestly it is unlikely to change in my experience.”- ChemicalParfait
“This is a huge red flag.”
“Why is it okay for your parents to feel uncomfortable or disrespected, but not her parents?”
“Especially since her parents are the one’s who are in the wrong.”
“You should never have to hide a fundamental part of your family identity, race, gender, sexual orientation, if you don’t want to.”- photosbeersandteach
“Your girlfriend seems to have an issue with your moms.”
“What if you two have kids and one of them is queer?”
“Would you need to hide that from her parents too?”
“This is your family and if she and her family can’t accept that then she’s not the one for you.”-shebanat
“If you refuse to go along with your girlfriend’s idea.”
“This is the time to learn what kind of person you are.”
“Do you hurt your moms in order to satisfy your girlfriend?”
“Or do you refuse to hurt your moms even when a pretty girl asks you to?”
“What are you willing to do to your loved ones?”
“I am a lesbian mom.”
“My daughter is only five, so not dating anyone yet.”
“I’ll tell you for sure that if she asked me to do such a thing, I’d be hurt. I went through a long long time in the closet, it hurt a lot, and I’m never hiding again.”
“My wife, her other mom, got kicked out of the house when she was your age, because her parents were homophobic.”
“Just about any parent-age gay person in the US has some sort of painful story related to it.”
“By asking your moms to get back in the closet, you’d be hitting them where it hurts.”
“Your girlfriend doesn’t know what she’s asking.”
“She’s not thinking any further than ‘I’ll be so embarrassed introducing my parents to his two moms!'”
“You need to know better than that, and you need to protect your moms from this sort of pain.”
“That is old enough to know better.”- Happy-Kaleidoscope82
“NTA, but your GF is and so are your friends!”
“No, but their feelings will get hurt and that will be way worse than being grounded.”
“Let’s assume you and your GF stay together, then you’ll have to keep one of your moms hidden forever, she won’t be able to attend your wedding, won’t be a part of your life if you have children of your own.”
“Maybe you even loose both your mothers, because they’ll refuse to take part in that charade which i cannot blame them for.”- Morrigan-71
“Hiding it will look bad to both sets of parents when it comes out and that you hid it.”
“Your girlfriend shouldn’t hold you responsible for what your parents do or who they are and if it’s going to bother her this much, you probably aren’t right for each other.”- Comfortable_Stop_717
No one should ever be ashamed about being raised by parents, any parents, who loved and supported you always.
The OP and his girlfriend should also consider how the OP’s mothers might feel by being asked to hide this.
If the OPs’ girlfriend stands firm in her opinion, one can’t help but wonder if the OP might be better off ending this relationship.