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Teen Sparks Drama By Announcing She Wants to Live With Her Dad Because Her Stepfather Mistreats Her

Pouting teenage girl
JGI/Jamie Grill / Getty Images

Blended families require work if you want to make certain every member feels wanted and valued.

But what if a family member, especially a child, feels like the odd one out?

A 16-year-old girl dealing with that turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for perspective.

Redditor TAIshouldcounttoo asked:

“AITA for telling my mom we haven’t had a good relationship in a long time and I wanted to go live with my dad?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

I (16F) used to have a good relationship with my mother. That has since crashed and burned since she dated and married my stepdad ‘Gary’ six years ago.”

“Gary treats his son ‘Ian’ (19) like he’s the center of the universe and expects my mother to as well, so she does. Anything Ian wants, Ian gets and that usually comes at the expense of me.”

“Ian wanted my room when they moved it? I was forced to go to another room to ‘make the transition easier for everyone’.”

“Ian wanted a car for his 16th birthday? I didn’t get braces for another year.”

“Ian wanted to go on an expensive trip for Spring Break? I had to give up Volleyball to make it happen.”

“Ian wanted to have his side of the family over? I was expected to find somewhere else to be, since I wasn’t family.”

“My mother just went along with all of this and acted like it shouldn’t affect me at all.”

“My dad was overseas for a long time, and we used to FaceTime and he was so upset by what he was hearing. He’s home now and he’s offering to have me come live with him.”

“I’m not seeing a reason not to go, and so I told my mom I wanted to go live with my dad. She predictably freaked out and asked why I’d want to do that and said that we had such a good relationship, she didn’t understand how this came so out of the blue.”

“I told her that we haven’t had a good relationship since she blindly decided to follow Gary’s lead and give Ian anything he wanted, and it always came at my expense. My mom tried to argue so I said, I also wanted to leave because she let them kick me out of my own house because ‘I wasn’t family’ so I was going to go live with someone who was.”

“My mom started crying and said she wouldn’t let me go, so I told her that my dad was willing to go to court over it and I was old enough to be able to say where I wanted to be.”

“She’s been a crying mess since I told her, and Gary is being a jacka** about how awful I’m being.”

“Here’s where I might be the a**hole.”

“He was bitching at me about how terribly I’m treating them and how I’m not thinking about them at all. I asked why should I, he never thought of me when he was taking things from me to give to his kid.”

“I said let’s face facts here, you don’t care about me, what you care about is losing the child support you spend on your son. He sort of went slack jawed and I walked off.”

“My dad said my mom called and threatened to take him to court, so he said he’d see her there. Now she’s panicking because she realized he is planning on taking her to court over this.”

“Mom and Gary of course think I’m the a**hole for ‘making things hard’ for everyone, but my dad and grandparents say to leave and never look back.”

“AITA for wanting to get away from this situation?”

Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.

“NTA. Go to your dad’s house. I’m so sorry this is going on.” ~ DemonicSymphony

“NTA. And make sure the judge knows about all the suspiciously expensive items Ian is getting.”

“That money is your child support, I guarantee it, and you’ve had to give up items that should be bought with that money. I’m enraged on your behalf.”

“Judges don’t like that, either. Ever. Judge will drag your mother across the coals, and it’ll be well deserved.”

“She failed you. Big time.”

“So, I just want to tell you that I’m a random internet person, but I’m super proud of you for standing up for yourself. Gary is a crook, and your mom is helping him.”

“Get outta that house!” ~ GPnL910

“The fact OP had to wait another YEAR to get braces so her step brother could get a car is insane.”

“You know how much a car for a 16-year-old should cost? Max $2k.”

“My niece got her first car in 2020 and she paid $900. No family friend discounts, etc… and it’s older than she is, but she’s damn happy.” ~ Key-Tensio

“Yeah all a 16-year-old’s car needs to do is get them from place to place.”

“Hell, I’m 20 and still driving the junk pile I got from my grandma when I was 17. And I’m perfectly happy with it because young adults don’t need fancy cars and most of us aren’t responsible enough to have them.” ~ m-is-for-music

“They couldn’t ‘afford’ her sports? Why not use the money daddy gives as child support, to pay for daughter’s sports?

Oh yea, that ‘extra money’ was just there to cushion stepson’s wants in life and not to support the actual child the money is supposed to go towards.” ~ BraidedSilver

“This is really sad but at least OP has one parent who is willing to treat her right.”

“There are so many stories out here on Reddit where the child has no where to go. NTA.” ~ bAkedbeAnmAster

“NTA. You have been punished for her inability to stand up to her husband for far too long.”

“I hope that life with your dad is amazing and he treats you how you deserve to be treated.”

“She let him force her to stop treating you as family. You owe them nothing. At all.” ~ VixHarlow

It sounds like living with her dad is the best option for OP right now. And she can be assured that Reddit has her back.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metís Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. A member of the Indigenous Journalists Association, she considers herself another proud Maineiac.