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Parents Livid After Teen Sabotages Joint Birthday So They Wouldn’t Have To Share With Brother

12 year old birthday cake with candles.
Carol Yepes/Getty Images

A birthday is the one day a year when people can justifiably be the center of attention in any situation.

While many people still choose to keep a low profile, and would rather not have the attention, others relish having their day in the sun.

So much so, that they might even feel hurt if they don’t receive the attention they think they deserve.

Redditor NoBDayParty4Me and their younger brother had only a few days between their birthdays.

As a result, their parents chose to celebrate both their birthdays on the day of the younger brother’s birth, a decision which the original poster (OP) resented.

Having finally had enough, the OP took matters into their own hands to ensure that they, and their younger brother each got the birthday celebration they deserved.

Upon seeing how angry this made their parents, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for sabotaging my little brother’s and ‘my’ birthday party?”

The OP shared how they made sure they didn’t have to share their birthday with their younger brother this year.

“Me and my little brother have very similar birthday.”

“My brother’s 12th birthday is today, while my 17th birthday is two days from now.”

“Because of this, starting from when I was about to turn 5 (after my brother was born); I have always remember that my family have officially stopped celebrating on my actual birthday, and rather prefer that we celebrate both of our birthdays on my little brother’s birth date.”

“And whatever compromise that I have, my parents had always dismissed.”

“Like when I asked if we can celebrate on the day that’s between our birthdays, my parents would respond that it would be rude to my little brother to celebrate his birthday late, but celebrating mine earlier isn’t.”

“Or when I asked if we can just have two separate birthdays, my parents have stated that that was a stupid idea because that wasn’t cost-friendly and it was too time-consuming to have two separate birthday celebration.”

“Especially since the birthdays were so close to each other.”

“It got so bad to the point that no one in our extended family even remembers when my own birthday is, because everyone believes that me and my brother have the exact same birthday.”

“Which makes me hate how close me and my brother’s birthdays are.”

“So, for this birthday, I ended up doing some changes for this year.”

“With the money saved up, I ended up buying a decorated cake that said ‘Happy Birthday, [brother’s name]’ only, and switched up and tossing the cake that had both me and my brother’s name.”

“I ended up hiding all the pink decorations, and leaving behind only the blue ones.”

“And I also made sure to scribble off my name off anything I can get my hands on (like the banners, invitations, letters, etc) so that only my brother’s name and information was on it.”

“And, on the day of the party, I rejected any gifts toward me and stated that; since it is my brother’s birthday today, we should be celebrating his day since I hate celebrating my birthday on a day that isn’t on my actual birth date.”

“This caused a mixed reaction to a lot of family members, but it ended with many respecting my wishes and focusing on the birthday boy.”

“My brother was the only one that was completely happy about it, probably because this is the first time that he was able to celebrate a birthday that was his own and he enjoyed getting all the attention for himself.”

“My parents, however, was livid at me for being petty and childish enough for wasting my time and money (and especially their money, with all the vandalism that I did) sabotaging this party.”

“In addition to that, they were also mad that I made them look bad, because a lot of our family are giving my parents flak for making it look like they are prioritizing my brother over me, as well as complaining that my insistence that they focus on my brother on his birthday to be unsettling and worrying.”

“I mean, I think I may have gone overboard just a bit, but I don’t think I did anything that wrong.”

“AITA though?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for turning what should have been a “joint” birthday celebration into one purely for their little brother.

Everyone agreed that the OP’s parents were likely only angry because their poor judgment and decision-making were put front and center, as the OP’s actions were, in fact, rather selfless.


“You didn’t explicitly steal the spotlight from your brother, you made it about him.”


“And you didn’t ‘make it look like they are prioritizing your brother’.”

“They ARE prioritizing your brother, you just let the rest of the family see it.”- Fatigue-Error


“Well done, and the best thing is that your brother was thankful.”

“Next year you will be 18 and after that you can celebrate any way you want.”- curiousbelgian


“Good job!”

“Your family now knows your brother is the golden child (or at least favored).”

“There is no reason why they couldn’t do his party one weekend and yours the next.”

“My kids are two weeks apart.”

“We never combine parties.”

“It’s not fair to them.”- Emotional_Fan_7011


“Your level of petty is absolutely masterful!”

“Besides your brother was happy since he finally got to have his day to himself, and now your extended family knows you weren’t okay with this situation.”- mycatisblackandtan


“Make sure if you buy your parents one gift for both of them on mothers and Father’s Day.”

“Pick either day and if they question it tell them it’s a financially hardship on you to do things separately and it’s much easier this way.”- RecentCharge655


‘They’ve been dismissing your feelings and have been unwilling to compromise with you for years.”

“All you did was give your brother a solo party.”

“It isn’t fair for either of you to have to share a birthday on his special day.”

“You’re 2 separate people with 2 separate birthdays and honestly, too old to be having shared parties.”- Wonderful-Lie-650

“NTA: and executed amazingly.”

“Your targeted your parents, the AHs and didn’t take it out on your brother whom others in your position may have resented and you made his day better.”

“Good going sister.”

“I wouldn’t have tossed perfectly good cake though.”

“You could have at least eaten it.”- Nessa-E

“UM YES—they should be very worried about you.”

“You’ve been FORGOTTEN and absorbed into your brother that 5 YEARS YOUNGER than you.”

“They can’t even remember when your actual birth date is.”

“Pink and blue is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard.”

“You aren’t twins and this isn’t a gender reveal.”

“YOU’RE 16! You should have had an age appropriate birthday for your sweet sixteen JUST ABOUT YOU.”

“At 17 they’ve really missed the boat.”

“I hate to think what your 18th will be like.”

“No one likes it’s because you’ve held up a mirror that they can’t ignore anymore.”

“NTA.”- PettyHonestThrowaway


“You made it about your brother since your parents and family make it about him any way.”

“I hope you get to celebrate your bday in a way you prefer.”- DJ4116

“NTA and I am LIVING for the pettiness here.”- TheFastLoris

“You were trying to make a point and did it well.”

“Your parents are upset because you made your point and it made them look bad, as it should have.”

“Birthdays are special events meant to be about a person and though your days are very close you still each deserve your own celebration.”

“Cost is the issue?”

“They have all year to save and plan to give you each your own special day.”

“They were being cheapskates and making you pay the price while favoring your brother and now everyone knows it.”

“NTA.”- Wonderful_Picture135


“Except for tossing the original cake, that’s a waste of perfectly good food.”- MayorOfSmurftown

“I think NTA.”

“I think the way you handled this is kinda funny actually.”- birbbs

“NTA Your parents have been deluding themselves for 10 years that what they were doing was fine.”

“Whenever you tried to confront their delusion they told you to stop being childish and selfish.”

“So you confronted their delusion in public and they found their behavior indefensible.”

“That’s why they are mad.”

“You shattered the illusion in a way they couldn’t refute and they were publicly embarrassed.”-Irish_beast

While no parent should break the bank to celebrate their children’s birthdays or throw a blowout party every year, all their children should be celebrated equally.

However economical their plan was to always throw one joint party, it is surprising that they never seemed to consider how much the OP’s feelings would be hurt that it would always be on their younger brother’s actual birthday, but never on theirs.

A mistake the OP’s parents seemed to discover far too late.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.