The truth can hurt.
But sometimes, people need a reality check.
Even if they don’t like what they hear, sometimes it’s hearing these, often harsh, truths which is what it takes to knock some sense into them, resulting in their cleaning up their act and/or getting their life together.
After hearing his cousin go on a somewhat unwarranted boast, and make a highly questionable accusation, Redditor StopSmooth9034 couldn’t help but tell their cousin to take a moment and reflect both on his life, and what he just said.
As one might expect, the original poster (OP)’s cousin did not take kindly to these words.
Wondering if they were, in fact, out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my cousin he is not worth baby trapping?”
The OP first shared how their cousin thought his girlfriend intentionally got them in a somewhat complicated situation, something the OP didn’t believe for a second.
“My cousin,Aiden’s girlfriend, Lila, is pregnant.”
“It was not a planned pregnancy and they weren’t properly dating.”
“Aiden is 26, lives with his parents, has been going to college for the past 6 years and will hopefully get his degree next semester.”
“Lila is 24, has a degree, a full time job and owns a condo.”
“Aiden, his brother and I were hanging out when Aiden said that he thinks Lila got pregnant on purpose to baby trap him.”
“At first I thought he was joking, but he said he was serious.”
“Lila has been wanting them to be exclusive for some time, but Aiden didn’t want that so Lila must have gotten pregnant on purpose to trap him.”
“At first, I just told him that birth control fails all the time and Lila definitely didn’t get pregnant on purpose.”
“But he kept insisting and I started to get annoyed so I told him that he is not worth baby trapping.”
“He is an unemployed 26 year-old living with his parents, and Lila is smarter than to purposely get pregnant from a man, who can’t even provide for himself, let alone take his fair share of providing for the baby.”
“Aiden got really offended, told me he is worth more than his money and stormed out.”
“His brother said that even though he agrees with me, that was an awful thing to say.”
“I think accusing his girlfriend of trying to trap him with a baby is ridiculous and an even more awful thing to say.”
“But maybe I was too harsh with him.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for insisting that their cousin had not been “baby trapped”.
While many agreed that the OP’s words were, indeed, harsh, they also agreed that their cousin needed a serious ego check, particularly after his less than kind words about his pregnant girlfriend.
“NTA, Aiden shouldn’t talk sh*t if he can’t take it.”- QuieroAlcapurrias
“Doin’ the lords work over there for Lila.”
“Agree that money isn’t everything and I can see how that’s offensive to state.”
“But a good response when a grown man is calling down his future baby’s mother as though she’s desperate and he’s such a good catch.”
“Check your ego Aidan.”-seawolf681
“NTA What is bringing to the table?”
“Not emotional or mental support for his pregnant girlfriend.”
“Not a home to put a crib in.”
“He’s a nothing burger.”
“Why does Lila like him?”- debdnow
“Men like him tend to overestimate their own value.”- Mavakor
“You made a really good point, and he is accusing somebody of something very serious.”
“It was harsh, but he needed to hear it bc he refused to see the other side.”- EnvironmentalCat300
“A bit brutal but it sounds like a reasonable interpretation.”
“He’ll find the next 20 years easier and the relationships better if he doesn’t buildup resentment to the woman and child.”
“Is she suggesting he move in, or they get married?”
“Or is it more you’re going to be a father, and you’ll need to get ready for that?”-ShadowKraftwerk
“NTA at all.”
“Why do so many men think that they’re hot shit and that they’re that highly desirable to their far more successful partner?”
“At the same time, why do so many smart, successful women date and continue dating and then marry deadbeat men and then come here to complain about how they are deadbeat men that don’t like to do anything other than play video games and/or go drinking with their bros?”- gigibuffoon
“Unless she wanted to baby trap him cause she wanted to take care of 2 babies at once!”-CanadianAreNice
“Can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.”
“I will never not enjoy seeing these loser men who trash their responsible, out-of-their-league girlfriends getting the truth thrown back in their face.”- feyre_0001
“Perhaps you could have been more tactful, but he had it coming.”-amosc33
“I honestly can’t decide because I know there are women out there who have garbage taste so ya know.”
“It’s a possibility but your cousin also is not a catch at all lmao”
“Prob need to give more info about Lila because her taste might actually be garbage enough for her to do that lol.”-riyusama
“Your cousin sounds like a f*ck boy and that’s a very f*ck boy thing to say.”
“He needed a reality check.”-throwthawholemeaway
“He is not on the same level as her at all.”- crazycatlady45325
“NTA at all.”
“I really hope she protects herself and assets in case he gets any ideas.”- potbellymama
“The cousin agreed, just because Aiden’s feelings were hurt doesn’t negate the fact that what he said was obviously wrong and sexist.”- Longjumping-Brief585
“While you maybe could’ve said it a bit nicer, at the end of the day baby-trapping is usually used as some kind of security, and from the sound of it this is an incredibly self-sufficient woman who, if need be, could figure out a way to raise this baby by herself.”
“Doing it this way, she’d be raising two babies not one.”
“It seems he was looking for back-up to shake his responsibility to her and you didn’t give it to him.”
“Are you being supportive?”
“But I wouldn’t go as to say YTA.”- HeyThereHotShot
“What’s with men thinking like this?”
“I had an ex boyfriend say the same thing two months after I had a f*cking abortion!”
“I said I had an abortion because I DIDN’T want to have a kid with you!”
“You served it straight up no chaser.”
“The truth hurts.”
“Hopefully he will finish school, get a job and do right by the baby.”- stinstin555
“But I do wanna say money isn’t the entire thing all the time I have a ‘friend’ who literally confessed to not taking her BC because she wanted her 3rd baby to be from this other dude because she always had a crush on him in high school.”
“People are dumb and suck still NTA and I agree with ur points as well just wanted to add this.”- Living-Celebration57
Though there were a few who believed that the OP should have known better than to stoop to their cousin’s level, and felt what he said was, indeed, out of line.
“I think that it’s unfair to say he isn’t worth being manipulated because she has the hallmarks of having her life together and he doesn’t.”
“I think it;s a gross thing to say.”
“What he Said was as well.”
“But, he’s allowed to be worried that this happened if there is any reason to actually believe it, just want to be clear there.”- Navybuffalo
“If she loves him then such practical financial considerations will go out the window so I don’t think you can rule this out.”- Total_Eagle_7359
While at least one Redditor wasn’t wholly convinced that Lila didn’t “baby trap” Adrian.
“When my brother was 18 & unemployed he got a 27 year old woman with a degree and a job pregnant.”
“She said she was on birth control.”
“A few months into her pregnancy he found a fertility app in her phone with ovulation tests recorded in it.”
“I know of plenty of other situations with people I know personally with similar circumstances.”
“Everyone saying a woman wouldn’t baby trap a bum is dead wrong.”
“They most definitely do.”- One-Band2853
Hard as the OP’s words to Adiran were, it’s equally difficult to sympathize with Adrian.
It’s also difficult to imagine what kind of father he’ll prove to be.
Perhaps Lila see’s something in him that others don’t, which might explain why she remains loyal to him.
Otherwise, one can’t help but wonder if she might be better off raising this child on her own.