As children, we are taught the importance of sharing.
It's a very generous thing to do, especially when we share with those who might need a little extra help.
However, sometimes we might get a little ahead of ourselves. Either sharing with the wrong people, or sharing things that we might not have exactly had the right to share.
The wife of Redditor No_Relayz had been on a sharing streak with her coworkers.
However popular this made her at work, it still frustrated the original poster (OP).
Primarily because they felt what their wife had been sharing should have been offered to them first.
Wondering if their frustrations were justified, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA? Wife takes all the leftovers?"
The OP explained why they wanted their wife to tone down her sharing with her coworkers:
"Title pretty much says it, she or I will make food, we have a son, and I eat a good bit, so we make a good amount."
"There will be leftovers, and she takes all of it."
"Not just enough for lunch for the day, but every single smidge of it. "
"We made like 20 burritos last night. I ate 3, she ate 2, and my son ate one. She took 10 to work (she has to be sharing the food with everyone; there's no way she's going to eat all of it then take more leftovers the very next day) and left me 3 and my son 1."
"I have had conversations multiple times about taking all of it; she just doesn’t listen or gives some excuse."
"I feel like you don't HAVE to take all of it, you have a family that will 100% eat it, I don't see the problem with taking enough for you, your coworkers can bring their own food."
"Thoughts and opinions please. Im trying not to be an a** about it, but it's getting a bit out of hand with the ungodly amount of food she’ll take."
"Am I the a**hole?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for wishing their wife didn't hog all the leftovers.
Everyone agreed that the OP had a right to be annoyed, with many agreeing that the solution might be for the OP to stop making so much food, resulting in fewer leftovers to be taken:
"NTA, but here is the problem:"
" Her co-workers have become accustomed to her bringing in lunch, and it makes her feel good."
"It also would likely be embarrassing for her to abruptly stop."
"Stop making that much food."
"Then there won't be leftovers available for her to take in, and after a while they will no longer be used to her bringing in food."-LdiJ46
"NTA."
"Taking 10 burritos is wild."
"I'd understand bringing a couple to work for lunch, but cleaning out the fridge is a little excessive."- theBMadking
"NTA."
"I'd have a problem with my husband taking all the leftovers to feed coworkers."
"Cost concerns aside, preparing food is a lot of work."
"No way I'm cool with feeding coworkers if our family would eat it."- yeahipostedthat
"NTA."
"Stop making extra or freeze it immediately."- FairyFartDaydreams
"NTA."
"Portion the leftovers the same night."
"For Burritos wrap a few individually and write 'Little Timmy's Tuesday Lunch' etc on it."
"That way either she has to unwrap them individually or hopefully - her coworkers realize and back off."- sparklyspooky
"NTA."
"Start making just enough for your household's needs."
"Her coworkers need to fend for themselves."
"With the cost of food right now even single bit of leftovers need to stay in house."- OkTrouble2473
"When you talk to her does she agree to stop doing it?"
"What does she say she is doing with the food?"- Feeling_Eagle_1992
"NTA."
"You shouldn't have to pay for her coworkers to get YOUR food."
"Those extra burritos could have been your dinner the next day, or prepped lunch for another day."
"If you make the food, prepare the leftovers before leaving them at her mercy."- Rundstav
"NTA."
"Pack your lunch for the next day at the same time you are getting your dinner plate ready."- Creative-Painter3911
"I suggest putting the food away in separate containers and letting her know some of them are for you and your son."
"NTA."- keesouth
"NTA."
"Ask her why she is trying to impress her co-workers with free food while denying her family."
"Her priorities are completely out of whack or she is being bullied at work."
"This is the equivalent of a school bully taking a kid's lunch money."
"Did this happen to her at school, and she's repeating the pattern that made her feel safe at her new job?"- Queen_V_1
"NTA."
"Maybe she’s having a problem with feeling valued at work, and she is buying live there?"
"I’m sure she does not want to hurt you and your son."
"I agree with you 100 percent."
"Good you make for your family should be with your family unless you agree to bring food somewhere."- Warm-Statistician545
"NTA."
"Sounds like your wife likes some aspect of the attention she gets at work for giving all this food."
"Either that, or she enjoys feeding the homeless?"
"Have an honest conversation about why she is doing this."
"Feeding a family is expensive and time-consuming; it is unfair and unwise for her to take so much from the family for her own emotional gratification."- Ok-Investment9992
"I’m going to say NTA."
"She should not be taking all that food, food that’s meant to feed your family, and not giving any kind of explanation."
"Find out who she is giving the food to/where it’s going."
"It could be that she is feeding her coworkers just to feed them, but I suspect it’s something else."- houseofnim
"Obviously, NTA, and I like the suggestions of putting food in 2 containers and you labeling the stuff you want to keep."
"Is there a possibility that someone she works with is in a rough situation and she's trying to help them out?"
"If so, that's admirable, but she needs to communicate that, and it's an AH move that she isn't communicating."- KRB0119
"NTA, there is very obviously something else going on."
"Does she maybe have some colleagues who are food insecure?"
"I would have a serious discussion with her about it."
"That's a LOT of money's worth of food disappearing every day."- Final-Yesterday-4799
"NTA."
"When I lived at home, my parents would split the leftovers--one container for what my mom would eat, one for my dad."
"Everyone wins."- Efficient_Plum6059
"NTA."
"You're right, her coworkers are adults who can definitely make/buy their own food and you have a family to feed."- mindheartsoul-less
"NTA."
"I'd be frustrated if my husband took all the leftovers, all the time."
"I hate cooking, so those keep us from cooking."
"My question is 'why' is she bringing the food, and why isn't she being clear on her reasons for taking it all?"- humanofearth-notai
"NTA and I just do not understand this."
"My first priority is to make sure my husband and kids eat."
"If you do not get to eat it or take it for lunch, just stop making extra."- catladyclub
"NTA."
"The confusing part to me is I see you say that she claims to be eating it all."
"Which I think is a lie.... therefore an even bigger problem."
"Can I ask you- does she struggle with binge eating or weight?"
"Like is she eating it all at work because she feels shame or something to eat that much at home?"- Ok-Pie-4410
The OP later returned with an update, sharing how they decided to handle things, and where things currently stood with their wife:
"I told her that she should take enough for the day."
"I am sick of getting policed anytime I go for seconds or get a plate full, she admitted to sharing with coworkers NOT inmates, to which I said her coworkers are grown adults, they can take care of their own lunch."
"It isn’t right to take every bit of the meals we eat to work for everybody else."
"Especially coming out of our pockets, our money is going into other people's mouths."
"She agreed and agreed to stop."
"Then changed the subject before I could press further, so Ill leave it at that for now."
"Thank you, everyone, for your advice and the updates. I am glad you all let me vent and offered up valuable suggestions."
"There will be another update if she continues to take ungodly amounts of food every day."
"For now, the issue is resolved."
Everyone wants to be liked by their colleagues, which is why the OP's wife might have felt inclined to share some home-cooked food with them.
That being said, one shouldn't try to be liked by one's colleagues at the expense of frustrating one's family.
Let's hope the OP is right, and the issue has been resolved.
