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Woman Balks After Her Boyfriend Suggests She Get Fit Rather Than Buy A New Bikini Due To Her Weight Gain

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Everyone’s body is different and it is normal for weight to fluctuate some. With all the altered images in the media, especially of women, it can be hard for some to love the body they are in.

Usually a partner is there to encourage and build you up, but what if your boyfriend just made you feel bad about the way you looked?

One Redditor who goes by notyourunicorngf found herself strugglng with a response after her boyfriend made a comment about her weight and turned to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) section for some opinions.

She asked:

“WIBTA for buying a bikini out of spite?”

In the now deleted post OP (Original Poster) explained what happened:

“I’ll try to keep this as short as possible but I (23f) been dating this guy (26m) for over a year now and my birthday is coming up and he said he sucks at getting gifts so he gave me a budget of $100 and told me to get whatever I want for myself.”

“I told him I want to get a cute bathing suit for the summer because during covid times I have gained some weight – I don’t want to put specific numbers but I am not by any means over weight, just a bit chunkier than I was pre-covid lmao.”

“He basically asked if I was sure and that maybe instead of buying new clothes I should try and focus on getting fit so I can fit into the ones I have. I don’t think he meant harm by it but it did upset me and I told him he gave me the money and told me to buy whatever I want and I want a cute bathing suit.”

“He kind of got upset and said that he doesn’t even know if he wants to go out to the beach/pool this summer because he is worried about people judging us for our weight (by us I am 90% sure he means me).

“TBH I don’t care at all and now it just makes me want to buy a bikini instead so I can show off my body and be confident and not give a f*ck.”

“WIBTA though? It is technically his money he is gifting me so I feel like it’s kind of mean to buy something he wouldn’t buy himself but also I want a bikini and it’s my birthday.”

Redditors decided who was or would be the jerk here:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Reddit does not think that OP would be wrong in the least and some thought the weight she needed to drop was just the whole boyfriend.

“NTA – Holy sh*t! What a jerk! First of all, saying he ‘sucks at getting gifts” is probably code for ‘I’m too lazy and uncaring to put in the effort required to find something you’d like’, and then for him to act like this over you wanting to purchase a bathing suit?”

“Oh boy. If he is so embarrassed to be seen with you because of your weight, dump his sorry a** so that he will never have to be seen with you ever again.”~mantisfanclub

If you are interested in losing weight, I hear there’s this awesome crash diet where you lose like ~150 lbs right away by dumping your a**hole boyfriend. Guaranteed you’ll rock the bikini after that!”

“NTA, OP. The beach gets whatever body you give it, so give it all you got and go have a good time!”~ aSeaPersonsByNight

“You’re asking the wrong questions here. The real issue is that your boyfriend is acting embarrassed to be seen with you when you’re in a bikini.”

“He should care more about your happiness than what strangers think. Buy the bikini. Then get a new boyfriend. NTA.”~ QuixoticLogophile

NTA first of all, it’s not technically his money. It’s yours. It’s a gift. If he didn’t want you to buy a certain thing, HE should have given you a gift.”

“Also, he sounds like a jackass. Have you ever been to a pool or the beach? Does he think only super ripped models go there?”

“Half of the people there are old, or have scars, or saggy skins or are morbidly obese. Nobody gives a sh*t. He should get over himself.”

“Be proud of your body. You say you’re by no means overweight. That means you’re not unhealthy, so I don’t even see the problem here. A bf should make you feel beautiful, not more insecure.”

“Edit to add: if HE isn’t sure he even wants to go to the beach, HE can stay home, while you go with friends.”~ Jazzisa

“NTA. Absolutely buy the bikini. The money is a gift, to be used to buy whatever you want. He can’t dictate the terms of the gift, and if that’s what you want, get it!”

“Also, I can’t really judge the relationship, and I don’t know what either of you looks like, but it sounds like he has some issues about your (and/or his) weight gain, and is being an absolute d*ck about it. Discuss and/or just dump his a**!”~PepethePenguin3

“NTA. I’m a size 14 and I just bought myself two bikinis because f**k other people’s opinions about my body; I’m gonna enjoy swimming this summer. Throw the whole man away. He’s showing you who he really is: a shallow d*ckhead.”~ CrystallinePhoto

NTA and oh honey, this is a glaring flag. I don’t know if it’s quite a red one, because it’s all I know of your relationship.”

“Maybe this is a one off and he’s mostly a really supportive bf that loves you but let’s his own insecurities hurt you. Maybe he’s like the ah my former BFF dated who told her she was perfect in every way except being fat.”

“Which meant he could only date her in her town and when they traveled because he wouldn’t be seen with her at his hometown. Either he needs to work on his own insecurity placing who he dates as a reflection of his own worth and he’s overall a great guy or he’s a d*ck you need to drop.”

Either way he’s absolutely wrong. Once you give a gift, you no longer have any say in what the recipient does with it. Only you know if this is a flaw of his (every person you date will have them) or if it’s more of his personality that will never change.”~ cleverdouchewater

Whether this is a pattern for the boyfriend or not we don’t know but, one thing we do isyou should rock that bikini if you want to OP because your weight doesn’t define your beauty!

Written by Heidi Dockery

Heidi Dockery is a Maine artist & nature enthusiast with an affinity for libraries. She studies Criminal Justice with a special focus on psychology & sociology at the University of Maine. When not studying, painting, or re-reading the works of Terry Pratchett, she volunteers & enjoys various activities most would label nerdy.