It’s no secret we live in a society in which unrealistic beauty standards and virtually unattainable “ideal” bodies are thrown in our faces.
Practically everywhere we turn, we are subjected to TV ads, endless social media accounts, and billboards and posters all over dedicated to flaunting desirable appearances.
Yes, we’ve come a long, but clearly, we’ve got an even longer way to go.
Already, women feel insecure about their imperfections (by others’ standards, anyway) without input from anyone else.
But how should they feel when someone they love compares them to others—and over and over?
A woman on Reddit got fed up with her boyfriend constantly comparing her to other women while they were vacationing together, even going as far as to give suggestions, so she flew back home solo.
Now, of course, she turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor anonomonomoly asked:
“AITAH For leaving my boyfriend in a different state?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (26/F[emale]) need some perspective on a recent situation involving my boyfriend (30/M[ale]) during a trip to Florida.”
“Throughout the trip, he kept comparing me to other women.”
“Let’s be honest, women in Miami often look like they just stepped off a magazine cover.”
OP is into her “natural look,” but that didn’t matter to her boyfriend.
“Now, I don’t wear much makeup, and I’m comfortable with my natural look.”
“I believe in embracing authenticity and loving myself as I am.”
“However, my boyfriend seemed infatuated with these women who looked like models.”
“He couldn’t stop mentioning how much better I’d look if I put in more effort like this girl right here or that girl over there, which made me feel inadequate and insecure.”
It was pretty disheartening for OP to hear.
“Hearing your boyfriend or 3 years say ‘you’d be more attractive if you looked like her. Doesn’t make a woman feel good at all.”
And she couldn’t take it anymore.
“The tipping point came when we were at a restaurant, and he started telling me about how much better I’d look if I wore some more makeup and maybe showed a bit more skin.”
“I decided to switch up the scenario and told him that I’d I’m expected to look better then he needs to lose some weight and maybe work on getting ahead of his hereditary male pattern baldness, a courtesy of his father, after this, he had a loud outburst, essentially berating me for not looking as attractive as the women around us.”
“I was crushed.”
“Here I was, trying to enjoy a vacation with someone I cared about, only to be publicly humiliated for not fitting some superficial standard of beauty.”
So, OP left the situation.
“Feeling hurt, disrespected, and utterly fed up, I made the decision to cancel his flight and flew back to California alone.”
“I refuse to be with someone who values superficial appearances over genuine connection and respect.”
But now his family has an issue with the situation.
“Now, his family is pressuring me to pay for his accommodations and flight back home because he has no money.”
“They seem to think I owe him something for his outburst, but I can’t shake the feeling that I made the right decision for my own well-being.”
“Am I the a**hole for leaving him behind to figure it out on his own?”
“I forgot to mention that I paid for our tickets and hotel room because he couldn’t afford it but wanted to travel hence why he also couldn’t get home.”
Her fellow Redditors don’t believe OP is in the wrong whatsoever.
Many agreed her boyfriend got what he was asking for.
“Hence the phrase ‘never bite the hand that feeds you.'” – FitRegion5236
“if he knew he’d be stranded without her paying his way, then he should have been a hella lot more respectful.”
“Part of me recognizes that she just left the guy stranded and possibly doesn’t have a way out, but if he was saying all that sh*t to me when I paid for everything he’s enjoying, he could find one of those Miami girls to help him get back.” – Patchalakin
“Why are people so much of an idiot?”
“OP is paying for flights and hotel, and he keeps b*tching about how she doesn’t dress more provocatively?”
“He deserves to have been left behind.” – sdlucly
“Also, ‘if thou F’eth Around, thou shalt Find Out'” – LitwicksandLampents
“She left the red flag back in Miami with his insults to support his dumb a**”
“nta. let his mom and dad pay for his plane ticket.” – MsSeraphim
“OP delivered the find out.” – BraveLaw5080
“Serves him right, lol, if his family are so concerned, let them pay for a flight or send him some money.” – Over-Kaleidoscope-57
“NTA. He is an outsize jerk and deserved what he got.”
“If he can’t afford the flight, he can mooch on his family or work his way across.”
“Not your problem.” – DawnShakhar
Others mentioned the apple must not fall far from the tree.
“I find it interesting that the first thing his family tries to do is… make you pay for it instead of lending him some help themselves.”
“Guess depending on others runs in the family” – Some_Ebb_2921
“A family of Dependapotumis” – ReasonableDivide1
“Learned behavior.” – DutchPerson5
Some even noted OP’s boyfriend should have been grateful she wasn’t as scantily clad as the other women.
“I live in Florida, Miami is known for lots of plastic surgery and butt injections!”
“Also lots of skimpy outfits and tons of makeup.”
“That’s just how it is there, this guy is hilarious and should appreciate his girl who isn’t like that and isn’t looking for that type of attention from guys.”
“Most guys would be happy their gf isn’t ‘showing more skin.'”
“If that’s what he’s looking for he can go pickup women outside the surgery center lol doubt anyone would want him though.”
“What a man child” – gardengirlhi16
And others just straight-up jumped on the “manchild” train.
“Married a guy just like this. No job for years; I paid for everything, and he talked to me just like that.”
“Divorced him 17 years later. He moved in with his mommy and daddy at age 42.”
“Why? Because he’s a manchild who doesn’t know how to care for himself.”
“The man you took on this vacation is also a manchild.”
“His parents can figure out how to get him home.”
“He is NOT your responsibility.”
“If he wanted y’all to be one another’s responsibility, he would have proposed at some point over the past 3 years, but he hasn’t.”
“You can afford – and did, in fact, pay for – this whole trip. He cannot and did not.”
“You deserve so much better.”
“You deserve someone who is at least a match with you financially or, better yet, someone who is doing even better, not a manchild that you have to raise and take on trips you pay for as if he is your teenage son or a broke roommate who sometimes gives you Os.”
“You’ve gotten away. Stay away.”
“He feels insecure about his life because he isn’t making adequate money at 30 years old, and he was maliciously trying to make you feel bad about yourself to project some of his insecurities onto you in an area where he knows it will hurt and cause a trauma bond.”
“It’s a narcissistic tendency. I’m not saying he is a narcissist; we all have some tendencies, but this is definitely one.”
“If isolated, it’s totally sh*tty behavior, but if not isolated, it’s pervasive and malicious.”
“No one should ever be made to feel bad about themselves. No one deserves that.”
“You did great in walking away and leaving him behind.”
“I wish I’d have had the balls to do what you did before I married my manchild. He was exactly the same as yours.”
“I wish I had walked away at any of the many red flags he raised before we got married, but I didn’t because I thought I was ‘supposed’ to get married by a certain age and that he was as good a man as I was ever going to get.”
“Boy, was I wrong! It took far too long for me to get away, and after 17 years of this sort of abuse, I had to go to therapy to figure out the difference between reality and the lies he was feeding me.”
“It was so eye-opening.”
“If I were in your shoes again at 26, knowing what I know now at age 42, I would walk away and block that a**hat’s phone number, as well as that of both of his parents and any sibling or other flying monkey.”
“Protect your peace!✌🏼” – LeggoMyEgo8
“Hahahaha this. Dude is a wanker.”
“And it makes me so happy that his type only becomes less attractive with age, and he will end up with someone he’ll compare to you.”
“The dude can dish it out but can’t take it.”
“The manchild is not your problem.” – SheDevil1818
It doesn’t sound like OP should feel remorseful in the least about leaving her boyfriend behind.
Like other Redditors mentioned, if his family wants him home so badly, they can spring for a ticket.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you…