Ordering take out can be that special treat you and your friends or S.O. get to share. It’s a way to help local businesses, and avoid having to wash the dishes.
It should be a win-win. But when the orders are wrong it can be frustrating to say the least.
Redditor throw_away321654987 encountered this very issue with her husband. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for getting upset he gets me the wrong food all the time?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained.
“My husband and I have been married for 22 years. We have two adult children who do not live with us, so we have been adjusting to trying to cook for two.”
“Once a week we order take out for dinner, and despite me telling him verbally and via text message exactly what I want, he always comes back with something different.”
“Last week we ordered Chinese take out. He asked what I wanted and I told him Kung Pao chicken with steamed rice. He came home with sweet and sour chicken with pork fried rice!”
“It happens every week, and I’m tired of it.”
“When I confront him about it and ask why he ordered wrong food the first couple of times, he claimed the restaurant screwed up. I chalked it up to a restaurant mistake and moved on.”
“But it’s now becoming an almost weekly thing for the last six months. I’m tired of not getting what I want to eat and I’m tired of him acting like it’s not a big deal.”
“This only happens when he orders/picks up food, when I order it everything is correct.”
“He has no medical conditions that would make him order the wrong food. His excuse is that what he got me was cheaper or that I would like it better.”
So, OP took matters into her own hands.
“Last night we ordered from a little deli down the block. I love their Cobb salad, and I knew he would come back with something that I didn’t order, so I called in and ordered my own food.”
“He asked if I knew what I wanted and I said I already ordered and would be happy to pick up his food with mine.”
“Now he’s mad and says that I’m acting childish and should have ordered both things at the same time. I told him that when he actually gets me what I want, I will gladly let him order my food, but until then either I order it or we order separately.”
“He thinks he is being punished and that I have no reason to be upset.”
“AITA for being upset that he gets the wrong food all the time?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“I’m wondering if this is a kind of forced helplessness so she does all the ordering and picking up? The being most upset she didn’t order his food too was my clue – on some level he just wants her to take over all the work of ordering out because he’s ‘bad’ at it.”
“Do not make this easy on him OP! Don’t order his food too.” ~ Music_withRocks_In
“I’m a picky AF eater. My bf would never try this sh*t with me.”
“I either have to usually order so it’s right or make sure I’m clear in the text what I want because he feels like a screwup if it’s wrong.”
“When we’re at a restaurant and I’m interested in something new, he’ll get something I’m likely to like in case I don’t like the new thing. I occasionally tell him to get what he actually wants and I’ll just deal because it’s not always about me lol.” ~ Drkprincesslaura
“OP should start doing the same thing to her husband. Offering to go pick up food, asking him what he wants, and then deliberately getting something else that’s either cheaper or that she thinks he’ll like better.” ~ amireallyathrowaway
They gave OP some ideas on how to handle the situation.
“Insist on relieving him of the burden of ordering and picking up, cause you know, it’s just hard.”
“Ask what he wants.”
“Order anything but that.”
“Wait and see how long he finds it acceptable 😂”
“Oh yeah NTA.” ~ rustyshackleford1301
“Probably a problem-causer, but I don’t think I’d be able to deny myself doing this at least once.”
“Oh, he wants his favorite burger and fries with a shake? I’m sure he’ll like the black bean patty with the salad even more.” ~ adotfree
“NTA If my partner brought back the wrong food ON PURPOSE even once because ‘it was cheaper’, I would throw the entire meal all over his entire body.”
“Wtf. You handled yourself very maturely. I really am f’king stunned at your husband’s audacity.” ~ SalaciousSapphic
Others want to know why OP’s husband is acting this way.
“NTA. There’s literally zero reasonable explanation for him continually changing your order.”
“All I can figure is that maybe he’s interested in two separate dishes for himself, and changes your order to the second one so he can try a bit of both. But that’s a horribly selfish thing to do to you.”
“So I think what you’re doing (calling in the order yourself and/or doing separate orders) is completely justified. Yeah, it shouldn’t be necessary, but it’s the corner he willfully and wantonly boxed you into with his behavior and actions.”
“And if he genuinely can’t see that and mend his ways, then you guys need to have some serious follow-up discussions about trust and communication.” ~ PARA9535307
“Did he really expect you to believe that every time the restaurant screws up your order but miraculously always get his order right? That’s one of the dumbest excuses I’ve ever heard, tbh.”
“Then he changes his story to something that’s somehow worse saying that he knows what you’d like better or cites the cost? Dude is stretching to cover his very, very bare ass.”
“I mean, if he were really concerned about the cost, why eat out at all?” ~ KarenEiffel
Overall, just order whatever they’re asking for. It’s the easiest way to make everyone happy.