It's understandable why dogs are often known as "man's best friend."
As dogs bring endless joy, comfort and, yes, emotional support, to countless people all over the world.
Which makes it somewhat easy to forget that there are people who are allergic to dogs.
This includes Redditor, nomoreofficedogs, who was less than thrilled to hear that after her office re-opened, they were allowing workers to bring their dogs.
She was even less pleased to hear the solution offered by her boss as to how she could navigate this problem.
Having doubts about how she handled the situation, the original poster (OP), took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for refusing to work from home, so now people can no longer bring their dogs to the office?"
The OP first shared how her work situation changed from before the pandemic to after.
"Hi, I'm a 32 F[emale]."
"Here it goes:"
"Everyone working in the office, dogs were never even an option."
"Pandemic, shut down, working from home."
"People trickle back in, and they are allowed to bring their dogs to ease the transition."
"My group stays back for another year."
"Everyone's finally called back to the office."
While most of the OP's colleagues were thrilled at the idea of bringing their dogs to work, she was not, for a very specific reason.
"I'm allergic to dogs, and the smell gives me migraines."
"Huge bummer, because I do like dogs."
"But it explains why in one foster home I was always feeling sick."
"Boss says we'll figure something out."
But the OP was not at all pleased with her boss's solution, resulting in her beginning a lengthy negotiation.
"People with their own offices are not willing to give them up."
"Boss tells me that maybe it's best if I work from home (WFH)."
"I live in a tiny studio that barely fits my bed, and I have to sit on it or on my floor to have a workspace."
"I have one window."
"It's suffocating and I was starting to go crazy living there during the pandemic and WFH."
"So, I say that if I can negotiate a raise that will be enough to help me to move to a larger place, I will consider WFH."
"Boss takes that to their boss, comes back and says unfortunately it's not in the budget."
"I say I'm not going back to WFH."
"Boss insists it couldn't be as bad as I'm saying and that everyone had to make adjustments."
"Mind you, boss and most of my other coworkers live in houses that they own, most have huge backyards, entire rooms to dedicate as an office, etc."
"So of course they don't think it's a big deal."
"I stand firm, and remind them that someone can give me an office, but no one would."
While the OP eventually won out in her negotiation, she was met with acrimony upon returning to the office.
"So unfortunately, everyone has to stop bringing the dogs to the office."
"Coworkers and other people in the building are saying I'm selfish for not just taking the deal and going back to WFH because they'd all love to be allowed to."
"When I've told people about the tiny apartment and how I can't afford more, they say things like 'just move back in with your parents', 'just stop buying Starbucks' and 'start doing uber/uber eats after work' and 'move to X suburb' even as though I'm CHOOSING to be in this position just to spite them."
"Others have been like 'why can't you just take a Claritin' and tell me making up the smell causing migraines."
"Each of them has a suggestion about how I should go out of my way to make all these changes (some of which I can't even do!) just because people want to bring their dogs to an office."
"Am I really the a**hole for this?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You're the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not at all the a**hole for refusing to work from home.
Everyone agreed that the OP's boss and colleagues should have been more sensitive to her allergy, and that the ones who wanted to bring their dogs to work should be the ones working from home, not the OP.
"NTA."
"If they want to be with their dogs so much, one of them should make the sacrifice of giving up their office or they should be given the option to work from home."- niennabobenna.
"NTA."
"And why is the boss telling people about your medical condition? "
"If they need an explanation as to why no more dogs, 'a coworker is allergic' will suffice rather than [the OP] is allergic"- fuzzy_mic.
"NTA."
"Dogs weren't permitted pre-pandemic, they shouldn't be permitted now."
"Yeah, it sucks leaving the fur babies at home, but it is what it is."
"I may be out of line with my thinking, but this could technically be considered discrimination, because of a known medical condition."
"Maybe the threat of an EEOC complaint would straighten your boss out?"- 4everawikkid1.
"1000% NTA."
"This is your health."
"I love dogs too but I would not bring mine to a place that would cause someone else discomfort."
"I occasionally bring my dogs to work."
"However, I always let coworkers know that they are coming and ask if it is ok."
"When we hire new staff, I ask them how they feel about dogs in the workplace."
"If it made one single person uncomfortable, I would not being the dogs."
"(Fortunately, we are all dog obsessed, so it's all good!)"
I"t is not as easy as 'take a Claritin'."
"I hate when people say that."
"I have a severe food allergy."
"Can't even be in the same room with it."
"Coworkers are totally cool with just not bringing that food to work."
"Some will go out to their cars to eat it then wash their hands when they come back in."
"That's how kind, caring human beings behave."- sawta2112.
"NTA."
"Also this is an unpopular opinion but as much as I like dogs I really dislike the trend of people bringing them everywhere."
"I'm allergic to dogs."
"My reaction is a massive asthma attack."
"Pet dogs in the office and other shared indoor spaces puts me in a position where I have to be the buzzkill so I don't have a life threatening emergency."- Mighty_Fine_Shindig.
"NTA."
"You didn't ask to have this allergy and you tried to find a reasonable accommodation with the company."
"If everyone else is so desperate to have their dog with them at work, why don't they WFH?"- Key-Bit1208
While Several stressed how the way her colleagues reacted to her suggested that the OP needed to find a new job and fast.
"NTA."
"But I'd start looking for a better job."
"People are a**holes in an office and they won't get over this."
"Your environment there is only going to get worse."- CranberrySafe3271.
"While you are NTA, as a person who has three dogs and would love the opportunity to bring them to work, just be prepared that being not the a**shole is not the same thing is 'everyone decides OP is not the asshole and becomes immediately nice to OP'."
"People are gonna be mad and gonna resent you."
"And even if everyone is totally on their best behavior and doesn't do anything actionable to you, hostility is hostility."
"And that's going to be a suck work environment."
"You might want to think about moving on."-Euphoric-Round-5182.
"NTA."
"BUT I would suggest you be very prepared for a hostile work environment."
"The way you wrote it pretty much suggests YOU vs WHOLE OFFICE type of situation."-Fantastic-Mud5929.
"Doesn't matter if you're TA ."
"You have a Target on your back and your days are numbered."
"Your coworkers don't like you and since you're the 'problem' management will likely find a way to get rid of you soon enough."
"You're probably better off working from home until you secure something else."- sew-sarcastic.
"NTA this whole WFH malarky is great for people with spare rooms and or designated office space."
"Not so much for people with small homes and roommates etc."
"Essentially its classist."
"Having said that I too think you should definitely look for a new role."
"Clearly management is not interested in your welfare."-No_Rooster7278.
The OP later returned to thank all those who commented, and explained why making some changes in her work and living situation simply wasn't possible for her at the moment.
"Thanks for the responses so far."
"I appreciate the judgments and they're giving me a lot to think about."
"Just as a note, due to circumstances I'd prefer to not get into too much, I cannot just go find a new job or a new place to live."
"These are things that are, for me, out of my control for the time being."
"Things will hopefully change in a few years."
As much as people love their dogs, it is surprising that the OP's office gave them priority over the health and safety of one of their employees.
It does seem that the OP might, indeed, be better off at a company who has more sensitivity to her allergies.















Woman With Cerebral Palsy Livid After Husband's Doctor Questions Why He Married Her
In the search for comprehensive medical care, people may have tough conversations about their lifestyle, work, relationships, and other potential stressors.
But a doctor can only make so many decisions on behalf of their patient, cautioned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor _lucky96 was seeing the same doctor as her husband, so their doctor was aware of both of their medical histories and needs, including her having cerebral palsy.
But when the doctor brought up her condition during her husband's latest appointment and questioned their marriage, the Original Poster (OP) was appalled and wanted to find a new medical care provider.
She asked the sub:
The OP had cerebral palsy and a full life.
"I have cerebral palsy. It mainly affects my walking, but I can walk independently and live a pretty normal life."
"My husband and I have been together for three years and have a blended family with five kids altogether. Three of my kids aren’t biologically his."
The OP and her husband just started seeing a new doctor.
"We’ve both recently started seeing the same general practitioner (GP)." I’ve seen him about three times now and generally thought he was helpful."
"I had noticed he seemed very interested in my disability and would often ask questions about it and whether I had support, but I assumed he was just being thorough."
In the OP's eyes, the doctor crossed a line.
"Today, my husband had an appointment with the same doctor for stomach issues."
"During the appointment, mental health apparently came up as part of the discussion, but the appointment itself wasn’t for mental health."
"I wasn’t in the room because I was outside with our daughter. According to my husband, the doctor asked him, 'Why did you marry your wife?'"
"My husband said because he loves me, and then the doctor apparently said something along the lines of, 'With her disability and five kids, that’s a lot to take on. You realise when she’s older, you’ll have a lot to do as she ages.'"
"My husband thinks I’m overreacting because they had been discussing different stressors in his life, and believes the doctor was just talking about responsibilities and support systems."
"I understand that possibility, but I can’t get past how hurtful it feels to hear my disability described as something my husband 'took on' or as a future burden he’ll have to manage."
"The doctor also said, 'Not many men would do what you do, you’re a good man.'"
The OP was upset about the conversation her husband shared.
"What bothers me most is that the conversation wasn’t even about me, and I wasn’t there to respond or provide any context."
"I feel like the comments reduced me to my disability rather than seeing me as a wife, parent, and person."
"Am I wrong for being upset by this and considering raising it with the clinic, or does this sound inappropriate?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that the doctor's comments were highly inappropriate.
"That’s highly inappropriate. You are NOR." - Direction_Physical
"NOR. You are not overreacting at all. That was completely inappropriate and dehumanizing."
"You’re his patient’s wife, not his patient, while your husband is in that room. Bringing up your disability and five kids during your husband’s stomach appointment had nothing to do with his care."
"Saying you’re 'a lot to take on' and 'not many men would do what you do' frames your marriage like a charity case, and you like a burden instead of a partner."
"That’s ableist, unprofessional, and a violation of basic boundaries."
"It makes sense that you feel reduced to just your disability after hearing that."
"Raising it with the clinic is absolutely reasonable. You deserve a doctor who treats you as a whole person, not a problem for your husband to manage." - DaringDuvet
"This makes me so stabby. I’m non-verbal and have right-sided weakness."
"We were married 29 years before it happened, and the number of people who think my husband needs a medal and a parade for sticking around..."
"Don’t get me wrong. My husband is one of life’s truly good dudes. But seriously?" - sorenelf
"This is infuriating. He's a good man because he didn't ditch?"
"When my mum was diagnosed with cancer that wasn’t going to do the polite thing and get fixed, the amount of applause for my dad not leaving her was astounding."
"He was horrified at first, but that wore off pretty quickly, and he just started calling it out. That made quite a few people squirm in their own discomfort."
"It says a lot about someone who thinks a natural choice is to bail." - BasicLingonberry9914
"NOR in the slightest."
"Even if we assume good intent and the doctor wanted to make sure there are safety nets and supports in place for both of you, that has NOTHING to do with the question of why your husband married you."
"I would absolutely file a complaint, and if you both can, find another general practitioner." - ooooohcakepudding
"NOR. I have severe Aphakia, and if my specialist looked at my husband to remind him he's going to be growing old with someone who is likely going to go blind, I think I would die."
"My husband had been through h**l and back with me and my eyes long before we got married, so he knows what he signed up for. And it isn't the doc's place to sort out. Super duper unprofessional." - Global-Nature2420
"So at first, I thought you were overreacting. I am a mental health provider, and a doctor discussing stressors and very real-life situations happens all the time."
"The minute you added the part that 'not many men,' things changed. He took what could have been a normal conversation and changed it to his personal feelings, which is absolutely disgusting."
"NOR at all. I would file a complaint." - Trash_Human92
Others pointed out that it was an important conversation to have, though the doctor could have been more delicate.
"While tough, this isn't an inappropriate conversation to have if the stress is causing his health to deteriorate."
"The truth is not inappropriate. I think the way he worded it was a bit much, but not what he said."
"It appears to me the OP is not dealing with how her disability is not just about her, but everyone, etc. For example, my cancer was also stressing my loved ones out." - Total-Ad886f
"I was having panic attacks in the middle of the night due to my husband's health and lack of care. So when he finally started seeing someone in my same doctor's office (but not the same doctor), it was SO much better."
"My doc and the nurse have been really, really concerned about my mental health, so they were happy to hear that he's taking his health seriously and improving, because that means that I am sleeping more and my mental health is better, and that means my ability to manage my own chronic pain and health issues has been better."
"I was not coping at all and barely able to function." - popchex
"The doctor may have mentioned OP in the conversation with her husband if he was trying to ascertain if he had stressors that may contribute to his stomach issues. Sure, your spouse, children, work, and parents can be considered stressors at times in anyone’s life."
"For me, where he crossed the line was when he decided just how OP’s condition will impact the future."
"Firstly, OP is obviously capable of caring for everyone, including herself and children, with minimal, if any, assistance. As OP ages, more assistance may be required, but this may also be the case for her husband, too, as he ages. The responsibility of the children will not be a factor, as they are adults."
"So the doctor’s predictions are presumptive and unnecessary. Health is not guaranteed for anyone. We all will face various challenges to our physical abilities as we age."
"What I would take up with the clinic is why he felt it necessary to ask the husband why he married OP. To additionally state because of that, ‘He was a good man’ is grossly inappropriate and unprofessional."
"There is potential for an ongoing issue to arise if OP were to continue seeing this doctor. His bias toward her husband may very well influence any care she may need in the future. NOR." - Cool-Blackberry-785
"It doesn’t make sense because if your husband was talking about how stressed he was, why would the doctor bring up more reasons he should be stressed? Or if he didn’t seem stressed enough, is the doctor then going to be like, 'Consider how stressed you’ll be in X amount of years'?"
"It sort of sounds like he’s saying something like, 'Why would a man do that?'"
"The only exception I’d give is if your husband had some sort of health thing he’s completely ignoring, and the doctor was trying to give him a wake-up moment. Because then, they sort of have to be blunt to make you realize you need to prioritize your health. But simply being stressed isn’t enough to start saying, 'Why did you marry your wife?'"
"Whenever it’s women in your husband’s position, they just get told they’re an awesome rockstar. No one questions WHY they do it."
"NOR. You should find a doctor who makes you feel supported, and you feel is better overall."
"I wouldn’t make your husband change yet. It is hard to find doctors you like. Maybe when you establish with a better doctor, he’ll switch, too." - imwearingredsocks
Since the OP's husband went to the doctor to discuss stomach issues and likely how to remedy them, it's reasonable that the subject of possible stressors would come up, so the husband could avoid those stressors and improve his symptoms.
However, some Redditors felt that also including details about his marriage and fatherhood in the conversation was crossing a line, and while being a care provider to a spouse could be stressful, many felt it was being addressed from an ableist perspective instead.