It’s good to have an older sibling you can lean on.
In addition to learning a lot from them based on their life experience, they can also provide emotional support.
But there are certain areas where an older sibling can lack expertise – especially when they are a different gender.
When Redditor ThrowRA_AbbyCait’s 19-year-old younger brother opened up to her about a very specific problem relating to why he can’t hold onto relationships, all she could do was comfort him through his vulnerable moment.
Not knowing how to verbally console him, she solicited advice from the Relationship Advice subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“My (21 F[emale]) brother (19 M[ale]) opened up to me about his penis problems and I don’t know what to do.”
“We were having drinks out in the garden and got into some pretty deep conversations about life and love and stuff. At one point, I asked him why he can’t seem to hold down a girlfriend. Innocent enough question, right?”
“He suddenly started crying and blurted out that it’s because he has a small penis. I didn’t know how to respond so I just reached out and hugged him until he stopped. I felt so sorry for him.”
“Now that we’re sober, I think he regrets telling me because he seems to be actively avoiding me. Poor guy.”
“I’m his big sister so of course I want to help but I don’t know how. He’s been kind of depressed in recent months and only really came out of his shell last night with drink.”
“Any advice?”
Redditors weighed in with their encouraging words and input.
“He reached out to you for help. I wouldn’t just leave it there without saying anything…”
“I would tell him that you appreciate him being so transparent with you and trusting you enough to share that fear. Let him know that it will remain between the two of you and that even though you might not have all the answers, you support him and you know he will find the perfect woman for him.” – piscesempath
“Also important for OP: Don’t treat him any differently.”
“I felt so sorry for him.” “Poor guy.”
“Yes, I can understand how you can pity him for being in this situation, but other than giving him that talk that /u/piscesempath mentioned, do NOT make a big deal out of this.”
“Men identify so much with their penis size. Having a small penis is clearly a big deal to him, but you can’t let it change how you see him or treat him, because that will only further his own identity with it.”
“If you start to treat him differently, it will further his own self-conception of being ‘different’ and somehow worse because of it. You know about this now, but other than being there for him when he needs it, treat him the same way you always have.” – meta_irl
Some people suggested that the teen’s problem may be indicative of something else.
“Also he’s 19 and I’m not sure how many women he’s been with but they could have just happened to either have unrealistic expectations or perhaps seen it flaccid/somewhat flaccid? Or someone just wanted to insult him. If he was actually /told/ he has a small penis that is.”
“If no one actually told him that, he could have just gotten it in his head that he has a small dick and has had bad luck dating and is just blaming it on that.”
“It’s difficult to know what he means by ‘small.’” – SkullJooce
“For f’k’s sake, he might not even have a micropenis. First, determine if he just has some weird mental hangup due to porn. At 19, he’s a young guy.”
“He could have a totally normal penis and still think he has a tiny dick, or he could be just slightly below average in which case, it’s not micro and he can still make it work without risky and expensive surgery. Come on, people.” – Zauberer-IMDB
“Guys don’t just mention problems like this (especially when drunk). Its a cry for help. Even if you don’t have the answers he needs, knowing you’re there for him can make all the difference.” – AVeryRipeBanana
While a handful of Redditors suggested the OP should ignore the drunken conversation presumably because he would be embarrassed to revisit it, this person disagreed.
“You should follow it up with a talk. Never mentioning it again might just add to his shame and really, it’s amazing he was able to open up to you, even if he regrets it now.”
“Two things to tell him. He’s not the only one. I saw a pretty great and serious documentary called ‘My Penis and I’ which is about the issue of men who have a mircopenis, a real condition. I think it’s important for him to know that he’s not alone and to hear other men talk about it honestly.”
“There is also surgery to consider. If this bothers hm at such a deep level it is worth the money. Nobody ever need know and it’s something he could just do for himself.”
“I may get downvoted for suggesting such a thing but cosmetic surgery is pretty commonplace now and it could be a wonderful thing for him.” – velvetandsequins
“Absolutely. From personal experience, it’s very upsetting to gather the courage to admit something extremely difficult only to have the other person never bring it up again.” – not-mrkrabs
Overall, Redditors assured there are women who will want to be in a relationship with the younger brother, regardless of his penis size.