It’s hard to upstage a bride at her own wedding.
As chances are, no one will have a more striking dress, nor will anyone likely be giving much thought to anyone else that day, with the slight exception of the groom.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop some thoughtless people from making an effort to upstage the bride.
Nor does it mean that the bride won’t feel like she is being upstaged, even when that truly isn’t the case.
Redditor whatawitchx recently attended the wedding of a good friend of hers.
Upon arrival the original poster (OP) was struck by the fact that the bride and bridesmaids all wore a similar hairstyle to the one she had chosen for herself.
Unfortunately, the bride was struck by this coincidence, and made no effort to hide her displeasure regarding this discovery.
Wondering if she had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for wearing a 70’s bump to my friends wedding?”
The OP explained how her going to a friend’s wedding turned into a bad hair day for everyone:
“So I went to my friends wedding, not in the wedding party but a guest.”
“I was never informed on what her dress looked like or any hair ideas.”
“I typically wear my hair in a 60s-70s do whenever I go out or dress nice.”
“It’s just a thing I’ve always enjoyed doing.”
“My friends know this about me and often send me TikToks of inspiration since I love doing funky things with my hair and makeup. Including this bride.”
“Anyway, I show up in my usual do, bump in my hair and a dark green dress to fit in to her fall colors (bridesmaids dresses are like mustard yellow btw so I in no way fit in).”
“I was so excited bc I noticed that the bridesmaids also had bumps in their hair. not the same (my hair was down and theirs were pinned up).”
“The bride though, had her hair down with a bump.”
“I am absolutely ecstatic!”
“My friends in the bridal party are also so excited and they mentioned that the bride told everyone to look at my insta for inspiration and Pinterest pictures to give the hairstylist (slay).”
“Anyway, the bride was not happy.”
“I mean happy to my face but decided to text me 3 weeks after her wedding to tell me I’m an awful friend for having the ‘same hairstyle’ as her and that she was worried people thought I was trying to fit in?”
“What.”
“The bride and her bridesmaids are all my friends but I was not a bridesmaid because she decided she wanted childhood friends (4) with her and we met in college.”
“I never said anything and honestly didn’t really care about all that.”
“Well, apparently the bride got the bridesmaids to say I’m the bad guy and that I caused her so much stress.”
“I told them I was genuinely confused why she was stressed if she used MY pictures as inspiration and yet expected me to not do my hair the way I like to do it?”
“Especially since no one told me lol.”
“Anyway, AITA here?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for wearing her usual hairstyle to her friend’s wedding.
Everyone agreed that since the bride not only used the OP’s social media as inspiration for her and her bridesmaids’ hairstyle, but also neglected to tell this to the OP, then she had absolutely nothing to be angry about:
“LOLOL.”
“I loved that you were the inspo picture and got mad when you looked like…well….you.”
“Amazing and NTA.”- LowBalance4404
“NTA.”
“She literally used you for inspiration and then got mad when y’all had the same hairstyle?”
“That’s wild, and she’s being irrational.”- mtn-cat
“NTA.”
“She used you for inspiration, then got upset that you looked like you always do.”-Automatic_Serve7901
“NTA – this says it all.”
“‘I told them I was genuinely confused why she was stressed if she used MY pictures as inspiration and yet expected me to not do my hair the way I like to do it?'”
“She literally thought that because it was her day, that she owned your look.”
“LMFAO!”
“Now that’s some next level Bride-monster-from-Tokyo sh*t.”- slap-a-frap
“NTA.”
“If she had reached out and said, ‘This is how I’m wearing my hair, I know this is in your wheelhouse, so would you mind doing something different so I can feel unique?’”
“You would have said sure, no problem!”
“But you’re not psychic!”
“The bride is being ridiculous.”-__The_Kraken__
“NTA of course.”
“What did the bride say when you explained all of this?”
“How were you to possibly have known the direction SHE gave her bridesmaids, and she should have had a clue you would wear your hair this way, given you kind of always do?”
“I’m just wondering how she is backing up her anger at you with anything that makes actual sense.”
“I’d love for her to point out what, exactly, you did wrong?”- LiveKindly01
“NTA.”
“You wore your usual. I had curls in my hair for my wedding, I wasn’t gonna feel threatened by everyone at the party with curls.”- ZelaAmaryills
“NTA.”
“Your friend is too immature to be married, hope it works out somehow.”- CellistOk5452
“NTA.”
“She knows how you like to do your hair, and even used your pictures as inspiration for her own wedding party’s hairstyle.”- Knightseason
“NTA.”
“Why do so many people have such sh*tty friends that invite them to weddings?”- laztheinfamous
“NTA.”
“Long story, but at a long-time friend’s wedding, I wore a neutral with a pop of the wedding color in my shoes, because I also like to ‘go’ without spot-on matching.”
“And I matched the bridesmaids exactly.”
“They started down the aisle, and I was horrified!”
“We all had a good laugh, and the bride pulled me onto the dance floor for the wedding party dance.”
“We still laugh about it to this day!”
“Sorry your friend isn’t as lighthearted about it, but maybe she’ll come around?”- theimperfexionist
“NTA, how were you supposed to know what hairstyle they were going to have?”
“And even if you did know, it sounds like it’s your style, so not copying them.”- redditstorylady
“NTA.”
“Don’t look to your pics as inspiration and be surprised you have the same style.”- Lynnettey
“She based the hairstyles off your Insta and is mad you showed up looking like yourself?”
“Is she on drugs?”
“NTA.”- mytoesarechilly
“NTA.”
“And honestly, it feels like she was manufacturing a reason to be mad at you/get others mad at you.”- lumoslomas
“NTA.”
“Especially since she used your Insta and Pinterest for Inspiration!”- QL58
“NTA, but can you explain this bump?”- johjo_has_opinions
“NTA.”
“It’s hilarious, honestly.”
“‘I used you as inspiration. But how dare you dress like you normally do, which was how I was able to use you for inspiration?'”
“Also, are you a world-renowned psychic with a name like Xavier or Grey?”
“Because if you’re not, how were you to know what her hairstyle would be?”
“I’m also not a renowned psychic, but I’m willing to be that what the bridesmaids said was ‘uh huh, sure, lots of stress’ to shut her up before walking away, rolling their eyes.”- axw3555
“I have a big beard and moustache.”
“Imagine if my friend got married, told all his groomsmen to check out my pictures because he wanted their beards and mustaches styled like mine and then got mad at me when I showed up with my usual beard and mustache.”
“NTA.”-Agent9262
“This gaslight would’ve worked on me.”
“NTA.”- pottersquash
“It’s crazy that people this immature are allowed to get married.”
“NTA.”- Lucky_Volume3819
“The bride sounds horrible.”
“Having three daughters, I am concerned with the ridiculous expectations of brides on bridesmaids and now even attendees that are being posted on here.”
“If any of them acted even remotely this immature and like a child, I would pull the $$ plug and tell them to grow up.”
“You are obviously NTA, but the bride is a massive one.”- Classic_Might_5948
“NTA.”
“Wedding culture is wildly out of control.”- kimness1982
“NTA.”
“It’s how you wear your hair.”
“And if the is worried her guests are dumb enough to think you were the bride or bridesmaid, she has big problems with the people she invited.”- EfficiencyForsaken96
“Is there something else going on here where she’s just using this pettiness to start a fight?”
“She’s asking you to not be you AND to have a crystal ball that tells you that.”
“NTA.”- Pleasant_desert
No bride deserves to have attention taken away from them.
Even so, this particular bride could have avoided this had she given the OP advance notice.
Then too, the fact that this bride couldn’t enjoy what should be one of the happiest days of her life over a similar hairstyle makes it seem like she needs to sort out her priorities…