Trying new things can help you figure out what you do and do not like. Maybe you change your mind on something that you thought you wouldn’t like, or perhaps you get a reassurance of something you’re sure you’d hate.
Redditor imnotavampirefxckno recently stopped being a vegetarian, and her husband had her try a few things. However, her husband’s bio dad and his wife tried top have her eat something she didn’t want.
The original poster (OP) refused and was accused of xenophobia. This made her rethink some things and so OP decided to ask the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit if she was wrong to refuse.
She asked the board:
“AITA for refusing to eat traditional British food cooked by my British step-mother in law because it’s gross to me?”
What did she think was so gross?
“For context I, Indian-American (28F) who grew up vegetarian, was introduced to meat by my Italian-American husband Massimo (31M)(fake name). So I became a meat eater 3 years ago.”
“I started out by eating his mom’s home cooked food, which is really good. I only eat chicken, fish and bacon, and have grown quite fond of the texture and taste of chicken and bacon.”
“My husband’s biological father Arthur (49M) is British and lives with his family in the UK. After my husband reconnected with his bio dad, his dad booked tickets for us to visit him in the UK.”
“The first day we were invited to join them for breakfast at their family home, and his dad’s wife had prepared all kinds of traditional delicacies for us.”
“Although the food was bland, I powered through most of them because I genuinely appreciated her hard work and didn’t want her to feel bad. However, when it was time for us to try their family favorite, I absolutely noped out of it.”
“I did not want to eat black pudding. I know one of the ingredients is blood, and I definitely did not want to eat blood. I refused to. It’s just gross to me.”
“My step MIL tried really hard to convince me to at least try it, as it was apparently a 100 year old family recipe passed down through generations. When I didn’t budge, my step MIL got really offended and accused me of being xenophobic.”
Commenters asked a for a little more clarification on the situation, and OP obliged.
“Info: how did you decline the black pudding? What did you say?”
“You never have to eat everything that’s offered to you, but whether you’re an a**hole greatly depends on how politely, or impolitely, you declined. Did you say the words “gross” or ‘noped out’ like you did here?” – BaconEggAndCheeseSPK
“No I was really respectful. I just said that I didn’t feel comfortable eating something that had blood in it. I was being honest.”
“But they insisted that my future babies will have British blood and they deserve to know their heritage, so I owe it to my future babies.” – imnotavampirefxckno (OP)
The other comments judged OP for her reaction. Whether she was the a**hole or not was determined by including the following in their comments:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
While it’s generally helpful to try things to figure out if you like them, it’s not a requirement. OP has no obligation to try eating anything she isn’t comfortable with.
The fact that her husband’s bio-dad’s wife tried to guilt her into it just made everything worse.
But OP can rest easy knowing strangers on the internet don’t think she’s a jerk.
“I was born in the UK and love meat of all kinds. I have no desire to try blood pudding.”
“And your [husband]’s step-mother is using ‘racism’ to guilt you. She’s full of sh**. NTA.” – giantbrownguy
“You’re new to meat and frankly most meat eaters I know won’t go near black pudding (myself included). Not wanting to eat something from another culture doesn’t make you xenophobic unless you’re refusing it BECAUSE its from another culture.”
“Also my partner is British and can confirm, British food is bland” – JBagginsKK
“NTA. French eat escargot and I’m not touching that either. You ate almost everything else, if you didn’t want to eat the pudding, don’t eat it.”
“If you’re like me, the rest of the bland meal would have made a reappearance!!!!” – Nada_chance_yall
Other commenters couldn’t get over the step-MIL’s insistence that not eating black pudding was somehow xenophobic. They assured OP that plenty of modern British people would never touch the stuff.
And the claim of the 100-year-old recipe means less to people than you’d think.
“NTA. I’m British born and bred and you won’t catch me eating black pudding, gross.”
“That being said, you should try some British food not cooked by your step MIL, because one thing I realised after moving out of home, was that my mother was not a very good cook, and I actually liked a lot of things I thought I didn’t once I tried them cooked properly.” – Ok_Point7463
“You can be British and never, ever eat black pudding.”
“It absolutely not ‘heritage food’, just stuff that was made to use up every possible part of a slaughtered animal.” – Flibertygibbert
“Most ‘heritage food’ was creative ways of using up animal parts. Blood pudding wasn’t one of the more successful ones.”
“Also, many of those heritage recipes have changed to use more common cuts of meat available today. Like coq au vin, used to be a cooking method to soften up the old rooster you were eating because the better stuff was gone, now is made with the good meats that you can get at the store.”
“I guess blood pudding hasn’t really found a way to make that change.” – Cayke_Cooky
Whether or not the step-MIL comes around on accepting that OP doesn’t want to eat blood will remain to be seen. While OP won’t know for certain whether she likes the dish if she never has it, she can be certain that she doesn’t want to try it.
There’s nothing wrong with knowing your limits on what you will and will not try.