Every wedding is different than the next, and we know going into it that the decisions are up to the bride and groom.
That doesn’t stop some people on the guest lists from trying to change what happens at the wedding, however, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Cute_Puppy90 found herself fed up with all the comments about her upcoming pet-free wedding.
With calls and texts coming in, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure what to do about her plans.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for wanting my wedding to be animal-free?”
The OP was in the middle of wedding planning.
“I (24 [Female]) and my fiance are planning our wedding for next year.”
“We have a plan to do it at our house and keeping it plain and simple.”
“My parents are helping with the wedding and have been amazing.”
Everything was going really well.
“There have been no issues with anything until this past weekend.”
“We have no problem with kids and children coming as our wedding date is in the summer. My idea is to have some games for the kids to play.”
“We also have a pool for evening swimming.”
“The issue has been about dogs coming to the wedding. Our two dogs will be with our sitter, who normally takes them for hikes and plays with her dogs.”
“Everyone was very understanding and will not bring their dogs.”
It turned out not everyone was understanding about a dog-free wedding.
“My fiance’s cousin came up for the weekend to visit and brought his dog.”
“The dog spent his time off the leash, running around the yard, and getting into mischief. The dog chewed up a couch in our camper, which my fiance was not happy with.”
“When he asked about the wedding and the details, we told him all the details.”
“He asked if his dog is invited and I told him nobody else is bringing their dogs.”
“He looked at my fiance for validation and he gave him the same answer.”
The cousin was not happy about this.
“His cousin got upset and told my fiance he will not come unless his dog is allowed to attend.”
“My fiance told him that he is not backing down.”
“His cousin left, and now my fiance is getting messages from his sister that she won’t be coming unless his dog is allowed.”
“Some family have even messaged me that I am horrible and an animal hater.”
“AITA for wanting my wedding to be animal-free?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were just as surprised by the request as the OP was.
“NTA. It is SO NORMAL to not have animals at a wedding. It is your wedding and you control the invites.”
“Imagine the mayhem his dog would cause in your reception.”
“He could be chewing the table cloths and pulling the cloth along with the food, he could be barking while you give a toast. Even at the actual wedding, his barking would be so distractive.” – HTML1411
“NTA – what in the weird? No.”
“Dude, I love my dogs and bring them everywhere it’s appropriate to do so. My family deliberately plans the majority of our vacations to be dog friendly (helps that we’re all really into hiking, camping, road trips, and glamping), and we purposefully looked for a dog-friendly city with lots of dog activities and dog-friendly venues to move near.”
“I share all of that to say that even I, who is nuts about my doggos, would never even imagine that bringing dogs to a home wedding was an OK thing.” – fibchopkin
“NTA at all. Honestly, that’s such a strange request. Who does that?”
“I work from home and am literally with my dogs 24/7, and I would never even think to ask such a thing.”
“If you guys wanted to bring your pets, that would be one thing. But a guest insisting they bring theirs? Unless it’s a trained service dog, that would be a big no.” – Critical_Dog_2280
“This. This takes the cake. After reading so many AITA posts about people wanting child-free weddings, this is an interesting change of pace.”
“Unequivocally NTA. While your wedding sounds relaxed and fun, the last thing you need is someone chewing up the presents and pooping on the lawn.” – Weatherbunny7
Others said not to take the non-attendance threat to heart.
“NTA. Weddings are generally assumed to be animal-free, and he’s TA for even asking.”
“If he doesn’t want to come without his badly behaved pet, then he can stay home.”
“The only animal you’d be an asshole for not allowing (barring allergies or other extenuating circumstances), is a highly trained service dog.” – oreganoca
“NTA. I f**king hate people that say, ‘If A, D, or C doesn’t happen, I am NOT coming to your wedding.’ Then don’t!”
“This is not your day. It’s for the bride and groom.”
“The cousin can be sad at home with his dog while you enjoy YOUR day!” – cindy_lou_who_1982
“And then they convince other people not to attend either. I’ve seen so many about parents or siblings saying, ‘Well if this person isn’t going, I’m not going,’ and it’s like holy s**t, way to show your toxic favoritism.” – Tiny_Dancer97
A few also pointed out how stressful this could be for the dog.
“Can I also add that the dog probably doesn’t want to be at the wedding either?”
“Loud noises, people they don’t know, the food they can’t eat? That would stress a lot of dogs out.”
“Dogs aren’t people, they don’t care about weddings. It’s going to be happier in its own space with a dog sitter.” – Qu33q3g
“My son and DIL (daughter-in-law) love my dog and asked if she would come to their (outdoor/farm) wedding because it would be cute.”
“I just laughed. I love my dog too – which means I want her to be happy, not overwhelmed, grabbed by children, spending hours in a ‘settle’ in a stimulating environment.”
“Neither did I want to spend the day looking out for her welfare and safety.”
“They completely got this. The dog who went elsewhere has not mentioned feeling left out.” – Ok_Win_2592
Though there were people threatening not to attend, the subReddit was supportive of the OP’s decision to keep her wedding pet-free.
It might be fun to see an occasional pet at a wedding, especially if it’s a service animal, but once one animal is invited, who knows how many will attend?