Doing a friend a favor is something most people have no issues doing.
But some favors turn into fiascos.
Some people have no problem taking the inch and making it a mile.
Of course, this creates awkward situations.
Nobody really wants to call out a friend about a favor gone sideways.
Redditor PaleBusiness6120 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to let my friend turn my apartment into her ‘second closet?'”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I’ll begin like this, I’m Kayla, and my friend Kate lives in a pretty cramped studio.”
“Two months ago, she asked if she could keep two small boxes of her winter clothes at my place since I have a two-bedroom and more space.”
“I didn’t see the harm at the time and agreed.”
“But those ‘two small boxes’ turned into bags, then shoes, then coats, and whatnot.”
“She now has about 6 large bags and two bins stacked in my spare room.”
“I told her it’s starting to overwhelm my space and making me feel uncomfortable, especially because I actually use that room for work and studying basically.”
“When I asked her to either pick up her stuff or pay me part of the rent I pay (like $30 monthly, which is less than a storage space), she got mad.”
“She said I was being greedy, that ‘friends don’t charge each other for favors.'”
“She also accused me of acting like a landlord in my own house.
“From my point of view, it’s not just about money, it’s about my home.”
“I feel like I can’t have guests over without explaining why I’m storing half her wardrobe.”
“I’ve also had to move her stuff around multiple times just to use my desk for work.”
“Some mutual friends are saying I’m right for setting boundaries, but others think I’m being petty and making a big deal out of something that’s been hurting me so bad.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So, AITA for refusing to let my friend keep turning my apartment into her storage unit?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. She is taking full advantage of your kindness, and now that you’ve called her out, she’s bitter.”
“If your friends are so concerned, they should each take a portion of her stuff and keep it for her.”
“Collect ALL her stuff and take it to your next get together and see how many of them are eager to help out.”
“Whatever you do, put an end to the storage space offer.” ~ sassy_baker
“NTA. Now she needs to remove all of her possessions from your home.”
‘She has until Sunday afternoon.”
“Then it all goes to Goodwill.”
“She’s not your friend.” ~ Fun_Possession3299
“No. She’s taking over your space when you barely have room for your stuff.”
“Tell her to take it back to her mother’s house or get a storage space.”
“You need room for your studying desk and ot her stuff.”
“If she doesn’t do something, then pack it up and set it in her room or on the porch.”
“She’s taking advantage of you.” ~ SpecificVivid2736
“NAH. That said, don’t charge her for it.”
“Just tell her you’re happy to help store stuff, but you’re limiting it to what can fit in X space in your spare room.”
“Two boxes, maybe.”
“Then stick to it.” ~ MisterForkbeard
“Don’t ask for money.”
“Ask her to get all of her stuff.”
“It’s not what we agreed, and I want it all removed. NTA.” ~ Individual_Metal_983
“NTA. Give her a week to get her stuff, and if she doesn’t, then throw it out and block her.”
“She’s not a friend, she’s using you.” ~ bryonlhobbs
“NTA, you need to get her stuff out now.”
“All of it.”
“Tell her you wanted to help, but didn’t realise the impact it would have on the space.”
‘Or make up some story about getting something new and needing the space.”
“If the friendship ends, that’s 100% on her.”
“You helped her, and she took advantage of it.”
‘If the friendship doesn’t end, then don’t inconvenience yourself to help her again.” ~ Swimming-Garlic303
“I moved into a small studio last month.”
“Do you know how much stuff I gave away?”
“Anything that I couldn’t move into my new space.”
“I still have some stuff I’m gonna have to throw away or give away.”
“My former roommate (and friend) offered to store stuff at the house. Nope.”
“Don’t want to open that can of worms.”
“You are definitely NTA, and she is NOT your friend if she’s acting like this.” ~ Impossible_Height_46
“NTA. It’s her stuff annoying you in your space.”
“Send it all back to her.” ~ NinjaHidingintheOpen
“NTA. Friends don’t abuse the good nature of each other or take advantage of each other, which is what your ‘friend’ is doing to you.”
‘She’s the mouse, and your space is the cookie.”
‘Time to tell her to get her crap out of your place, otherwise her storage creep is going to engulf your entire space.” ~ megamawax
“NTA. At all. You were kind/foolish enough to do her a favor.”
“That was a small amount of storage on a temporary basis – storing clothes for a season.”
“Now she is treating your whole second room as her storage facility, so that she can fill it up with her junk and access it at will.”
“That’s a ridiculous expectation.”
“It is her stuff.”
“If she wants to store it, she can rent a bigger place, or pay for a storage facility, or remove her stuff from your home and put it somewhere else (I don’t care if that is in her parents’ attic or under her bed, or in a thrift shop).”
“She didn’t honour the kindness of a friend who said she could store 2 small boxes temporarily, and is trying to make you feel bad about asserting a perfectly reasonable and much overdue boundary.”
“I’d let her know it is time to remove her stuff, as it is causing conflict between you, so you’ll be dropping it back to her place over the weekend.”
“I’d not even mention that it is causing a negative impact on your quality of life.”
“This has become about her lack of respect for your favor, putting your relationship at risk, and you absolutely definitely should not take money to store her clothing, as she will never pay enough for you and your home to end up being treated as a service at her beck and call.” ~ mavenmim
“NTA. If someone becomes upset by your boundaries, it is often because they were previously benefiting from you having none, and your boundary is a loss of a resource or previous pattern for them.”
“Their frustration is typically about their own inconvenience or loss, rather than an attack on your character or the boundary itself.”
“Setting healthy boundaries is not selfish but a necessary act of self-care that can filter out people who are not respectful or reciprocal in your life.” ~ firestarsupermama
“NTA. Tell your friend that she can store two bins of stuff, like she did originally.”
“That’s it.’
‘She’s got two weeks to come pick up the rest of her s**t.”
“If she doesn’t come get her s**t, then throw all of it into your car and drive it over to her place and leave it there.” ~ vaisatriani
“Give her the names of everyone who thinks it is no big deal and tell her they said she could keep stuff at their places since it was no big deal to them.”
“Either that or show up at their places with bags of her stuff.”
“She either needs to get herself a bigger place or stop overbuying for her space.”
“Her accumulating stuff is probably why she can’t afford a bigger place.”
“NTA time to clean house!” ~ Helpful-Science-3937
“NTA. You agreed to two boxes, and she quickly made a mile of that inch you gave her.”
“It’s disrespectful and inconsiderate to take such advantage of what was supposed to be a small ask.’
“Don’t even bother trying to bring money into it.”
“Like someone else said, give her a deadline to grab her stuff by.”
“If she continues to disrespect you by leaving it there, I’d threaten to dump it LMAO.” ~ FizzarollisMommy
“If it honestly WAS the amount of stuff she brought, you should have stuck to that issue.”
“Once you asked for money, you changed the game from disliking all the stuff and the space it takes up to it’s OK if you pay me.”
“Even if she had offered to pay, you should have said, ‘It’s not your money I want, it’s my space back.'”
“Remind her what she initially said… ‘two small boxes,’ and tell her to remove the rest.” ~ DustKooky7470
“Since friends do each other the favor of storing stuff at each other’s home, as her friend, you are storing a bunch of stuff from your apartment (her stuff) at her apartment.”
“If she refuses, she is a greedy, bad friend, landlord. NTA.” ~ Jakyland
“NTA. Make sure you text her that she needs to pick up her items.”
“That way, you have a paper trail just in case you may have to discard them if she fails to retrieve them in a timely manner.”
“Or…”
“If anyone decides to decides to voice their opinion on you not allowing your apartment to become a storage unit, then you know that means they will now store their things and the free loader moves onto the next pleaser.” ~ Awkward_Ly
“You do not owe space for her inability to stop shopping.”
“Empty space in your place doesn’t mean she gets to fill it.”
“You don’t owe her your Feng Shui.” ~ em1977
Reddit is with you, OP.
This is your HOME!
She is taking serious advantage and now sparking emotional gaslighting.
Stay firm and stand your ground.
Good luck to you.