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Teen Refuses To Let Older Sister Borrow Her Beloved ‘Magic Dress’ For Date With New Boyfriend

Back shot of a young woman zipping up a red dress.
szaz/GettyImages

Finding the perfect pieces of clothing can be difficult.

But every now and again, one finds those few rare pieces that make every look flawless.

These are the pieces that people have difficulty parting with.

This can cause friction with loved ones who love to borrow everything.

Redditor Full_Put_2642 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for not Letting my sister wear my favorite dress on her date?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (19 F[emale]) have this dress that I love so much.”

“I had been saving money for months to buy this deep green satin slip dress.”

‘There’s nothing fancy about it, but it’s important to me because I wore it to a school formal and finally felt good about myself.”

“I call it my ‘magic dress’ because it makes me feel good every time I wear it.”

“My older sister (24 F) just started going out with someone new.”

“She found the dress while she was over at my house a few nights ago, going through my closet.”

“She asked right away if she could use it for her date.”

“I wasn’t sure because I trusted her, but she’s not very good with clothes.”

“When I told her about the times she sent things back with spots or small tears, she just shrugged and said, ‘Clothes are meant to be worn, not babied.'”

“I told her no, telling her how much the dress meant to me and why I didn’t want to give it to her.”

“She got very angry and told me I was being a child and selfish.”

“She said it shouldn’t matter if she rented it because I wasn’t going to wear it this week.”

“She stormed off and later texted me to say that I made her feel like I didn’t trust her and that I cared more about a piece of fabric than her feelings.”

“Even my mom called and told me to say sorry to keep the peace.”

“At the same time, I feel bad because I see her point of view.”

“She just wanted to enjoy her date.”

“But, I mean, it’s not just ‘a piece of fabric’ to me.”

The OP was left to wonder:

“Am I a jerk for standing my ground?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA This is clear-cut.”

“Clothes are meant to be worn, not babied.”

“This is an attitude that she can take with her own clothes.”

“She can’t insist on applying her attitude to your clothes — on top of insisting that you must let her borrow them against your wishes.”

“You were justified in saying no anyway, simply because you love the dress and want to keep it for yourself as your special dress.”

“Her shi**y attitude is just a dung-covered cherry on top.”

“Why would you lend your special dress to this entitled brat?”

“It’s one thing to empathize with your sister’s desire to have a good date, but she has no consideration for you, or the dress, and just sees it as a fun consumable.”

“She won’t give a single s**t, or a single dollar in compensation if she returns it to you irreparably damaged.”

“She only cares about herself.”

“She has already told you that the dress means nothing to her beyond her desire to wear it for a night.” ~kurokomainu

“She’s 5 years older than you, is the one that had a fit and told your mom, yet has the audacity to call YOU childish?”

“NTA. Don’t give in to the guilt trip; you have every right not to want to loan out your belongings.”

“She’s a big girl; she can buy her own and realize how expensive it is to replace them often because she doesn’t take care of them.”

“If she’s mad at you, that’s a her problem, not a you problem.” ~ cairobutt

“NTA. She admits that she believes clothes should be worn – including damaging them.”

“She won’t take care of your magic dress.”

“The dress is special to you.”

“You bought it yourself.”

“She is not entitled to wear your clothes, especially your special dress.”

“Having something that you feel beautiful in is important.”

“I get it.”

“All the more reason for you to take special care of it.”

“Sister can save her money and buy her own dress.”

“She is trying to guilt you into doing what she wants- and belittling your magic dress into a piece of fabric is BS, and a huge AH move on her part.”

“Don’t back down.”

“You earned the money, found and bought the dress, and feel beautiful wearing it.”

“That’s a heck of a lot more than just a piece of fabric.”

“It’s your magic dress, and you don’t have to share it to end up destroyed.” ~ ChaoticCrashy

“NTA. Your sister has stated quite clearly that she will not properly care for the dress while it’s in her possession.”

“She has no respect for your belongings.”

“Why would you let her borrow something when she doesn’t care if she damages it?”

“If anyone’s selfish here, it’s her.” ~ buttercupgrump

“NTA! I have a sister, and while growing up, we share clothes cos we are of similar build.”

“I always have a few pieces that I do not share ’cause I love it, and my sister always respected that.

“You are entitled to decide what to share, especially if you save for it.”

“Give your sister the link to the dress and buy it for herself if she likes it so much.” ~ Alarmed-Lychee-8831

“NTA. Don’t loan it to her.”

“After all, to her, it’s just a piece of fabric, so that’s how she will treat it.”

“It is special to you.”

“Hide it if necessary.” ~ Shadow4summer

“NTA at all.”

“It’s your dress you saved up to buy, and it’s special to you.”

“You never have to share anything you don’t want to, even with family.”

“She needs to respect that decision.” ~ Purple_Wave_314

“NTA. Say ‘Based on prior experience, I don’t trust you with clothes!’ – ‘If you want to borrow it, there is a (2x purchase price) cash deposit required.'”

“Don’t take ANYTHING but CASH.” ~ theory240

“NTA, and she might feel like you don’t trust her, which is something you should absolutely not do, considering she already ruined some of your clothes.”

“Some might say it’s just a dress.”

“But clothes can definitely be comfort items.”

“NTA. But kinda curious about the dress now.” ~ Glum-Bet-9895

“NTA. Growing up with two sisters only one I ever allowed to wear my clothes because the older one would always bring my things back either stained, torn, or stretched.”

“I have the policy of if you can’t respect my clothes then you don’t get to wear them period.” ~ komo8621

“NTA, my brother was like this but about my bedroom.”

“I was the only girl at home, which meant my brothers shared the largest bedroom in the house. My mum had the next biggest, and I had the box room.”

“When I started working I’d buy things for my room, I upgraded my TV, games console, and stereo by myself, my brother believed that I should allow him to use my space when I was out of the house, as the eldest of my three younger brothers he felt entitled to access my personal space.”

“Eventually, my mum agreed to allow me to have a lock on my bedroom door, which he hated.”

“But then started doing the same to my mum, lounging around in her bedroom, so she got a lock on her door too.”

“It really pissed my brother off that the women around him would bow down to his entitlement and just let him do what he wanted.”

“He’s spent his entire adult life so far carrying on like the whole world owes him something; the only thing that attitude had achieved is everyone has gone L[ow] C[ontact]/N[o] C[ontact] with him.”

“Your belongings whether it be a dress, a pair of shoes, or a bag of crisps, they belong to you so you’re the only one who gets to say if someone does or doesn’t get to borrow them.”

“Your dress is special to you and you’re not selfish for wanting to keep it for yourself.”

“Your sister isn’t the ‘golden child’ by any chance?”

“I got that vibe when you said your mom called demanding you apologize to your sister for her entitled behavior.” ~ starfireraven27

“NTA. No is a complete sentence.”

“You don’t have to give any form of explanation as to the why.”

“Your sister is a little baby that runs to mamma when she doesn’t get her way.”

“Tell her and your mom that you are not obliged to lend your sister something you DO NOT want to lend out (with the exclamation on the do not).”

“And that your sister needs to grow the hell up and not throw a temper tantrum when she doesn’t get her way.”

“Girls set boundaries and big ones.”

“This is entitled, spoiled behavior.”

“And tell your mom that too.” ~ clipsje

“NTA. I shudder anytime I hear ‘keep the peace’, all it really means is ‘it’s a lot more convenient for me personally if we keep the complainer satisfied, so just put up with it, m’kay?'”

“Tell your mom it would go a long way to keeping the peace if your sister didn’t feel entitled to your stuff and/or if your mom shared some of her nice clothes with your sister.” ~ suddenlyupsidedown

“NTA. I’m with your sis, I make no emotional investment in clothes, they get worn.”

“Which is why I don’t buy expensive clothes, and no one should lend me clothes that they may want to keep looking nice.”

“You won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t lend me clothes as we have different standards, and I’ll respect yours as you respect mine.” ~ scubaian

“NTA. This shows a degree of entitlement and lack of maturity from your sister.”

“You explained why you’d rather it not get damaged.”

“You explained why it was special.”

“Clothes are meant to be worn and sometimes, when we treat ourselves to something that is special, they are meant to be worn by us on the special occasions we chose and intend.”

“It’s not about trust.”

“She asked. You said no for a good and valid reason, and she feels entitled not to accept this.”

“Mum wants everyone not to be fighting.”

“Sister wants that dress for her date.”

“In all of this, no one is listening to OP for whom the dress holds more significance.”

“I feel if sister and mum just stopped, stepped back, took a moment to actually understand why it’s a no this might all simmer down.”

“You should probably apologize for how she is feeling and have another go at explaining the why.”

“We all have stuff that’s special, and we’re attached to.” ~ Heavy-Ad-3467

“I’m so sick of people asking someone to cave in just to keep the peace.”

“The other party can just as much do that and keep the peace.”

“You do have a right to be selfish with things you purchased and are yours.”

“NTA. Your sister should grow up.” ~ Zestyclose_Hope_166

“If it’s just a piece of fabric, she’ll find another piece of fabric to wear.”

“Why is she all in her feelings about that?”

“To you, it’s a magic dress.”

“Obviously NTA.”

“Funny how the dress is ‘not important’ to her, but also important enough to throw a fuss over.”

“Manipulative AF.” ~ aniutsa

“NTA, especially for her comment about care.”

“If you think you might want to lend it have her put in writing that she will replace or have a seamstress repair any damage (replace possible?).”

“But really, if you would be really sad and regretful that anything would happen to it, you shouldn’t lend it.”

“Do you care if she has a dupe?”

“Tell her where you got it.”

“Tell Mom to buy her a new dress for her date.” ~ ocean_lei

“NTA. If her response to your concerns was to try and smooth over your doubts, saying something like ‘I’ll be extra careful with this one!’ or whatever else along those lines, then maybe.”

“However, she obviously doesn’t think much about your worries.”

“She’s functionally dismissed your concerns and feelings as irrelevant and stupid (in her eyes).”

“As such, you are perfectly within your right to tell her to piss off.”

“She didn’t care about your feelings and worries, so I don’t see why you need to care about hers when it comes to doing her favors.” ~ BobR969

“NTA… you are absolutely not the a**hole.”

“That is your personal property, and it’s also your confidence-boosting dress – it is special to you.”

“If your sister really loved you, she would respect that and change her mind about borrowing something that’s so important to you.”

“She can enjoy her date in anything. It doesn’t need to be YOUR dress.” ~ JenninMiami

“NTA. Your mom asking you to ‘keep the peace’ is asking you to quietly suffer.”

“Which isn’t peace.”

“She may not mean it that way, but that’s what it comes down to.”

“Everyone keeping the loudest person happy.” ~ shangri-laschild

Reddit is with you OP.

Your dress, your rules.

Your sister can go out and find her own dress.

She’s probably reacting this way because she’s been called out for being irresponsible before.

Keep standing your ground.

Good luck.