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Woman Called Out For Breaking Tradition By Not Letting Brother ‘Christen’ Her New Home’s Bathroom

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Redditor throwawayChristening is a 28-year-old woman who recently purchased a home with her 31-year-old husband.

She noted how every time a family member moves into a new home, one of her brothers likes to carry on a tradition the family thinks is hilarious.

While our Redditor is impartial about the nasty tradition, she supported her husband who did not find it particularly funny and voiced his objection to it.

After the family pressured the Redditor to lighten up and allow for the foul ritual to continue, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for not Letting my Brother ‘Christen’ my New Home’s Bathroom?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“This has been happening since yesterday. I’m pretty sure I’m not the a**hole, but my family has me doubting myself.”

“Anyway, my husband (31M) and I (28F) just bought a house several days ago. It’s really exciting; we’ve been living in his apartment for the past year which has been fine, but I’m really looking forward to having something that’s truly ours.”

“As you might guess, my family has been excited too. After we closed the deal, we went out to dinner with my Mom, Dad, and one of my brothers. Let’s call him Kyle (30M).”

“Kyle has a story about him. Apparently when we all moved into OUR first house when I was about 4 and he was 6, Kyle was sick, and almost immediately after moving into the home, went to the bathroom and took an absolutely nasty dump on the toilet.”

“Afterwards, my mother turned to my dad and said, ‘Well, at least someone Christened the bathroom.’ That’s it. That’s the whole story.”

“I’ve never found it particularly hilarious or anything, it’s just one of those stories that your parents like to tell every few months and you smile and nod along. Kyle, on the other hand, absolutely loves the story.”

“Ever since then, whenever somebody in the family moves into a new home, Kyle insists on ‘Christening’ their bathroom. He did it when I moved into my apartment, he did it when our eldest brother moved into his home, and I’m certain he did it when he moved into his own apartment.”

“My parents also find it pretty funny that he continues to do this. At dinner, Kyle made a comment about looking forward to Christening the bathroom at myself and my husband’s home.”

“My husband obviously had no idea what this meant, and my parents and Kyle explained it to him. After hearing the story, he muttered something and then quickly moved the conversation along.”

“Later that night, he told me in no uncertain terms that he thought it was a bizarre tradition and he did not want to take part in it. Even though I personally don’t care either way (I find it stupid but harmless), it’s a perfectly reasonable opinion to have, so I agreed with him.”

“I was talking to my mom last night, and when we discussed the dinner we’d had, she brought up telling my husband about the tradition. I told her that we would not be letting Kyle ‘Christen’ our bathroom, and she tried to persuade me otherwise. I said no.”

“I thought that was that, but since yesterday, she, my dad, and Kyle have all been texting me that I should follow the family tradition.”

“I texted my eldest brother though, and he said I should stand my ground. And obviously my husband agrees with that. I don’t really plan on changing my mind about this, but Reddit, AITA?”

Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hle here.

“NTA Tell your brother that you feel bad for him that the highlights in his life is taking a sh*t in someone elses house. Also to your family that they have no better stories than a child taking dump. Their whole traditions revolves sh*t. Congrats.” – Sheeps_n_Birds

“It’s about being the first so as long as OP or her husband do it before him then the cycle will be broken.” – rabbittdoggy

“Yeah, I would’ve just said, ;sorry, Kyle, but not this time… Husband didn’t know your tradition and he beat you to it.’ Then drop it… It’s all the same so silly and ridiculous, both on the family’s part for getting all excited about it and for OP’s part for paying any attention to it.” – Tasty-Throat5999

“NTA. I think OP should text the three of them, ‘If Kyle christens our bathroom, I’m going to post publically about it, tag all of you, and take a picture of the toilet.'”

“If this tradition isn’t disgusting and terrible, none of you should mine all our family and friends knowing. I’ll even let them know that Kyle likes to christen all their bathrooms too.” – crystallz2000

“I’d just be fully supportive and embrace his accomplishments alongside everyone else’s. In the family Christmas cards I would congratulate new children, new jobs, new milestones, and new thrones for Kyle.”

“Every time I passed a gas station under construction I would make a Facebook post and tag the family: ‘This one has Kyle’s name on it ;).’”

“If he gets a girlfriend, I would ask if she’s looking forward to her first christening.”

“I would give him ‘Kyle christened thee worthily sh**ty’ stickers to adorn his conquests.”

“I would leave a guest book in the bathroom adorned in gilted letters that read: ‘awaiting Kyle’s Kingdom.’”

“Upon each gift giving occasion I would bestow unto him a bounty of products to ensure he could adequately christen the closet de agua, and ensure he could recover for his next conquest. Laxatives, Taco Bell coupons, Pedialyte…whatever was necessary to continue the crusade.”

“Someone who thinks this much of such a sh**ty thing deserves to have their identity reduced to that of first pooper. I would harass, I would harangue, I would hector over his every BM. I would ask what his diet would be leading up to mine and I would cajole him every time he left the table and make him promise me he was saving his sacred excretion and would not dishonor the family by wasting it on an outsider.”

“I perhaps need another hobby, but by the time I were done Kyle might never might to crap again.” – Escritortoise

“I don’t care if a tradition involves fecal matter. The issue at hand is ‘No’ should be the only explanation needed. OP, stand your ground. It is not a ‘tradition’ you and hubby want to carry forward. I am annoyed your family doesn’t respect that.” – petunias25

“NTA. This is a bizarre tradition and honestly, why have your parents encouraged it for so long. Kinda cute when he’s 6, not when he’s an adult.”

“If he wants to be the first to ‘christen’ your new bathroom, he can also be the first to clean it.”

“And as a way to discourage this, I wouldn’t have any toilet paper in the bathroom the first time your brother is over. Then maybe it won’t be so much fun for him.” – SJMS89

“I mean I objectively find this really funny but I sometimes have the sense of humor of a 13 y/o boy. So what’s weird to me is that if the tradition is clearly a joke, as it seems to be, why is OP’s family so married to it?”

“Obviously it’s a little funny to continue, but I couldn’t imagine hounding someone via texts over literal sh*t. It’s not like it’s sentimental, it’s just Kyle pooping. This is a very weird hill to die on. Obviously OP is NTA.” – Motherofbeansthecat

“This. It’s funny when it’s a little kid, not cute at all when it’s a grown-ass man. Though there are always those people whose bodies grow, yet intelligence level remains the same…” – Crazyhellga

“NTA. The ‘joke’ is played out, and it’s downright bizarre, now.”

“I can imagine this ‘family tradition.’ Decades form now, after Kyle has taken his final dump, the eldest son takes up the mantle of being the Crap Christener.”

“When his daughter gets into her dormroom, he makes the pilgrimage, poop knife in hand, wearing the ceremonial garb–Affliction t-shirt and a Walmart basketball shorts, with extra-long drawstrings (well secured, because, poop-water), with Reddit loaded up on his holographic AI implants.”

“He has taken the sacred rite seriously: a big meal of Taco Bell (‘they won the Franchise Wars!’), with Fire sauce, as is tradition, with a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast–he is prepared to do his doody.”

“He enters the holy sh**ter site, and seats himself on the throne, giving the customary incantation:”

“Here I sit, broken hearted Had to go, yet, merely farted.”

“As he christens the commode, a dank miasma permeates the dorm hall. Emergency services responds to complaints of a gas leak, or possible bioterror event, but Kyles granddaughter waives them away–‘it’s merely our family tradition.'” – Duke_Newcombe

Overall, Redditors thought Kyle’s ongoing tradition into adulthood was gross and they thought their parents supporting his fecal matter was wildly bizarre.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo