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Bride-To-Be Gets Into Fight With Her Future Sister-In-Law After Refusing To Share Her Wedding Day With Her


A wedding day is the pinnacle of relationships that the bride and groom are entitled to enjoy with friends and family.

And while double weddings are not unusual, it is still the couple’s prerogative to say whether or not they want to share the attention with another couple tying the knot on the same day.

Redditor “Immediate-Accident96” – a bride-to-be – does not believe in joint weddings and turned to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to air out her grievances about a recent fiery discussion on the subject.

“Immediate-Accident96″ asked Redditors”

“AITA for not wanting to share my wedding day with my brother?”

She began the post with some background.

“My (27F[emale]) fiancée (28M[ale]) and I have been dating for about 6 years now, and he proposed last year.”

“We started planning a wedding almost immediately because we want to start our family soon, we’re both stable in our jobs, we’ve found a house and are working on a down payment, etc.”

“Basically, we didn’t see a reason to wait.”

“So the date has been set for late September and the venue will be able to support our large number of guests (around 200)”

But then another exciting announcement was made.

“My brother (25M[ale]) and his fiancée (24F[emale]) recently got engaged and have also started wedding planning.”

“My future [sister-in-law] (I’ll just say FSIL) reached out and asked if she could talk to me about wedding planning.”

“Thinking she wanted help choosing colors or something, I agreed.”

“She basically asked me if I could get married in the afternoon and she could get married an hour or two later and then we share the reception.”

“She pitched the idea as a great way to become ‘sisters’ and that she knows how close my brother and I are and that ‘this would mean the world to him’.”

“In reality, I know that they aren’t financially well off and she wants the fancy wedding without the fancy wedding price tag. They’re both grad students and I assume that she’s a little jealous of the elaborate wedding that I have planned (I’ve been saving for this day for a long time.)”

“I didn’t really know what to say, but managed to get out, ‘But that’s mine and Fiancée’s wedding. We planned it for us and want it to be about us’.”

“She then exploded on me in anger and tears and said that I didn’t understand how hurtful it was to see the amazing wedding I’m planning and know that she couldn’t have something like that.”

“She called me a selfish b**ch and heartless. I told her I waited to get married so that I could afford the wedding I wanted and she told me that she wants to get married before she’s ‘old and dried up like some people.’ Then I started crying and ran off to go home.”

“I got a call from my brother later. He stated that, while he was on board with sharing the wedding day, he’s upset with FSIL about how she approached it.”

“He asked me to please reconsider and that they would help pay for the extra guests (meaning her friends and family who I don’t know). I was still hurting from her comments and told him that I didn’t want to share my wedding day and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted FSIL there for my wedding day.”

“My brother quickly said goodbye and hung up. I haven’t heard from him or FSIL in a few days.”

The Original Poster (OP) struggled with her wanting an exclusive wedding day and sought Redditors’ advice.

“Am I being selfish for wanting that day for Fiancée and me?”

“I feel bad that they don’t have the funds right now, but I was in grad school at their age and couldn’t afford to get married either, so I waited because I wanted a huge celebration to share with our family and friends!”

Anonymous strangers on the internet weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Redditors agreed that the OP deserved to have her own wedding day.

“NTA. That’s YOUR day, and if you want to and are able to spend a load of money on it, then you go right ahead!”

“FSIL (future sister-in-law) doesn’t seem to understand living within her means, or the fact that you don’t NEED a huge wedding to be married.”

“My bff and her husband were so focused on the wedding that they really didn’t think about the marriage, and now they are not in a good marriage. My hubby and I had a simple wedding at my parents’ house for less than $1000 and are quite happy.” – hockeypup

“Definitely NTA. Your fSIL is so entitled, it’s unbelievable. If she wants a fancy wedding, she should wait and save for it, and not just steal yours.” – charl1ebee

The OP confirmed she never intended to have a lavish wedding when they commented:

“I wanted a simple wedding personally, but with all of our guests (and our desire to have lots of food and an open bar), the price SKYROCKETED!”

Redditors urged the OP not to back down.

“Please please PLEASE do not share your day! This is a day you will look back on for the rest of your ENTIRE life.”

“Do you really want to share that day with a rude egotistical person who called you ‘dried up’ and a ‘selfish b*tch’ for her own incredibly selfish request?”

“Holy sh*t I’m angry for you and personally? Not only would I not even fathom of sharing my day with this person, but I would never allow her to step foot in it.”

“Your brother and your FSIL can go shove it.”

“You dont need that negativity in your life.” – sydsnapp

Redditor MsDean1911 was awarded Reddit’s “Ignite!” award for this comment predicting a potential sister-in-law rampage.

“After fsil’s reaction to not getting her way, if I were you I would seriously consider having security (and password all of your vendors) at your wedding in case fsil decides to sabotage (destroy the cake, spill wine on your dress, cancel the caterer), make a grab for attention (wear a wedding/white dress, announce a pregnancy, bring her own officiant to marry her and brother, invite her own guests), cause a scene (get raging drunk, object during your vows, giving an inappropriate speech), or try and spread lies about you to your guests (how awful you are for not giving her your wedding, how it was supposed to be her wedding day too…).”

“She could decide to be spiteful and ruin your day because she doesn’t think you deserve a fairy-tale wedding because she didn’t get one.”

“Selfish people can often retaliate. Her behavior during the sit down and weeks leading up to your wedding day will be telling- and a deciding factor in whether or not she should even be invited.”

However another Redditor suggested a reconciliation could occur.

“NTA. They can’t expect to piggy-ride like that. It would make sense to smooth things over with brother and eventually reconsider inviting her because I imagine all parts involved will have cooled off enough to reconcile by the time wedding takes place.”

“Maybe there are other ways of making them feel part of your ceremony and bask on the glam a little, as long as they understand that it is your wedding, not theirs, and only if you trust them to behave.” – a-tale-of-two-cities

Holy matrimony, Batman!

Since the two women will be a part of each other’s lives, let’s hope they will be able to reach some sort of compromise and tell each other “I do” to forgiveness.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo