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Bride Considers Disinviting ‘Difficult’ Wedding Guest Who Demands A ‘Proper’ Steak For Dinner

Hands of a man cutting into a steak
Pyrosky/GettyImages

Deciding on the invite list for a wedding can be a grueling experience.

Almost as grueling as having everyone settle on their menu options for dinner.

With so many health and allergy issues it can be a near impossible task to calmly piece together dinner.

And that can all lead to some major drama.

Case in point…

Redditor TAHairQuery wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for telling a wedding guest that he can either eat what’s served or go without?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (mid 20s F[emale]) am getting married.”

“We have sent out our invites and they are slowly starting to come back to us.”

“We have family across the globe and with our postal service strikes, we decided to send them out early.”

“We invited one of our friends (mid 20s F) and her partner (late 20s M[ale]).”

“Her partner has been difficult.”

“When we sent out the invites, he called me asking if the options on the invite, were the only ones available.”

“The options are grilled salmon with a lemon and caper sauce, grilled chicken or mushroom stroganoff.”

“The salmon and chicken come with baby potatoes and seasonal vegetables.”

“I told him these were the only options.”

“And we wouldn’t be adding more but they can be amended if he has a dietary preference – one of our guests is a dairy free vegetarian and the stroganoff is being made vegan for them.”

“He said he didn’t like fish or mushrooms and thinks chicken is a bit plain for a wedding before settling on the chicken.”

“A couple days later, he calls to change his mind and decides he will have the salmon.”

“He then proceeded to jump between all 3 options a couple times, each time finding a reason to why he didn’t want it.”

“Salmon tastes too fishy, the chicken will be dry, stroganoff is too heavy for a wedding meal, etc.”

“This morning, I got a call from my caterer (who is his partner’s brother), and he’s contacted her asking if she can make him his own specific meal.”

“He’s asking for an expensive steak, vegetables, boiled potatoes and peppercorn sauce.”

“I’ll admit I kind saw red and called him annoyed that he tried to go around me and order what he wanted.”

“The caterer laughed at him and told him that he had the options available and just to pick one.”

“When I called him, I told him that he will be having the chicken and that if he doesn’t like it then he can just go without as I won’t have him calling the caterer to order something completely different.”

“He wasn’t happy when I told him, he argued I was being a bridezilla and that I needed to get off my high horse.”

“His partner has also been in touch, constantly sending me messages about how I know that he needs to have ‘proper’ meat at every meal otherwise he’s sick and that fish and chicken won’t sustain him.”

“And that ‘it’s just one steak, it’s not like he’s asking you to serve him a cow.'”

“It’s ridiculous, he can go without red meat for one meal, it won’t kill him.”

“AITA for suggesting that he gets what he is served or goes without?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

NTA. I’ve never seen a post here more clear cut. Is it too late to uninvite the pair of them?”  ~ Honest_Elk_1703

“It’s certainly not too early to rescind their invites.”

“OP should drop off a cheap steak dinner, maybe a frozen meal, with a note: I’m sorry you won’t be joining us on [wedding date].”

“Please enjoy this dinner at home. NTA.”  ~ RiverjackVVV

“I don’t think it’s too late to disinvite them.”

“They will be the guestzillas, you know.”

“Bombing your family photos, telling the DJ what to play, pulling a surprise proposal or birthday celebration at the reception (yeah, I read too many r/bridezillas threads).”

“Many many years ago I was a vegetarian and then vegan for a while.”

“I remember being at a wedding and waiting and waiting and waiting for the vegan entree.”

“Which was a plate of rice.”

“There were already platters of rice and other sides on the table, guests were supposed to get the main dish served separately.”

“So basically I was meant to eat rice with rice.”

“Did I make a fuss? Pull the bride’s parents aside? Call the caterers?”

“Ummm no. I ate at home after the wedding. NTA.”  ~ Princess-She-ra

“They should absolutely be uninvited, I can’t believe that his partner is actually defending his behavior and isn’t completely mortified.”

“Even if he got his steak he would clearly find something else to whine about, like the music not being to his superior taste or the chairs being uncomfortable.”  ~ Bobalery

“For real, both of them would be uninvited and blocked on all platforms they can communicate with me on.”

“The nerve of these people.”

“I would be like ‘I would hate to be the reason you didn’t get a proper meal, we rescind your invitation so you can make sure to be properly fed.’ NTA.”  ~ CuriousPenguinSocks

“NTA. If he needs red meat so badly he can go through the McDonald’s drive-thru on his way home.”  ~ Jaded-Combination-20

“NTA. That’s ridiculous. I would uninvite him.”

“Do you think he’d do something dumb like order food to the wedding?”

“That would be embarrassing.”

“I don’t think I’d want someone like that at my wedding.”  ~ user165834

“NTA – Not at all the AH!”

“He got three pretty different options.”

“It will not kill him to not have cow meat for one meal.”

“I would just tell them what this good person has written out for you.”

“It is such a beautiful reply. Haha.”  ~ cstarh408

“NTA. Note that you are still negotiating dinner, he hasn’t even gone wedding cake tasting or consulted with your sommelier yet.”

“Just revoke both of their invitations, this is ridiculous.”  ~ JeepersCreepers74

“Let them come to the wedding and tell them that you’ve considered their request, and made arrangements.”

“Have the caterer set out 2 kids place settings, with crayons and the paper menu, and give them Happy Meal cheeseburgers.”

“Now he gets the meal his tummy wants and can color while the adults celebrate.”

“NTA, goodness.”  ~ kfrostborne

“My petty self would also ban/flag them as ‘underage’ so they can’t partake of the adult beverages as well.”

“OP, you’re NTA.”

“Those are not uncommon wedding offerings and my meat loving omnivore self is seriously tempted to try that mushroom stroganoff now… lol.”  ~ olddragonfaerie

“NTA Confused why he is still invited???”

“He called your caterer behind your back- doesn’t matter if he knows them.”

“Thats it he’s out.”

“He can eat a steak before he arrives.” ~ Big__Bang

“NTA. No one ‘needs’ steak.”

“This man is ridiculous and his partner is enabling him.”

“Tell him to eat 2 steaks for lunch that day before he arrives if he’s that desperate.”  ~ PsilosirenRose

“NTA. As a guest, your options (if given any), is what has been provided to you.”

“You don’t get to order something else.”

“What does he think this is, a restaurant?”

“Plus, wtf is that whole ‘has to have proper meat’ crap about?”

“No one is going to die if they don’t have red meat for one day (plus, maybe he wont die if he does have something a bit healthier for once).”

“They both can just be uninvited.”  ~ Indiana_2017

“NTA. Feel free to suggest that the wedding is not mandatory.”

“If the food is such a deal breaker, he can skip the wedding altogether.”  ~ esk_7140

“It’s a wedding not a restaurant.”

“He’s not paying for it, there’s no à la carte menu he can order from it’s set catering for the kitchen to be able to deliver that many meals for a set price, in a timely manner.”

“Cooking entirely one separate steak and sauce would be money and a chef having to focus on that.”

“He is a ridiculous asshole and you are NTA.”

“Having a meal that’s not his favorite won’t kill him.” ~ marahute85

“NTA. Bridezilla? He doesn’t know what the word means.”

“Is there such a thing as a guestzilla?”

“You have been more than accommodating. If he needs red meat so badly, he can stop by McDonald’s on the way home.” ~ General_Relative2838

“NTA. What a d**k. It’s YOUR wedding.”

“Tell him he’s welcome to bring his own food if he wants, but he’s being absolutely unreasonable.”

“You can’t expect a brand new meal at someone ELSE’S wedding.”

“He’s totally not respecting that it’s YOUR DAY.” ~ Sensitive_Algae_7635

“NTA. This person is being ridiculous and rude.”

“Personally, I’d have revoked his invitation after he contacted the caterer.”

“If he can’t make a choice from the options available he can eat beforehand or afterwards.”  ~ joanclaytonesq

“NTA. What is up with all these entitled people?”

“There’s a menu and it is set at this point with plenty of options.”

“Going without red meat won’t kill him and he could always eat something hearty before or after if he really needs to.”

“If he wanted to pay for that meal, I would let him have at it, but I imagine he still wants you to cover that cost.”

“Uninvite him before he does some petty sh*t at your wedding.”  ~ ConfectionExtra7869

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

Your wedding, your menu, your rules.

If you have to disinvite someone, that’s your option.

Enjoy your day.