A wedding is a day for a happy couple to share their love with those nearest and dearest to them.
Of course, owing to the rising costs of a wedding, most people will have to choose who is, in fact, their nearest and dearest.
Resulting in numerous people not making the cut for an invite.
Even so, there is a chance that each member of the happy couple will be meeting someone from their new spouse’s family for the first time on their happy day.
Such was the case for Redditor rsvpthrpw, who was surprised to find one of her guests bring someone completely unknown to her as his plus one.
Hoping that her wedding would be close friends and family only, the original poster (OP) was not at all pleased by this discovery.
As a result, the OP ended up taking matters into her own hands, much to the shock. and anger of her new husband.
Convinced she hadn’t done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for kicking a girl I didn’t know out of my wedding.”
The OP explained how she had fairly strict parameters when it came to her wedding guest list, and as such was not at all pleased to find an unfamiliar face among the crowd.
“My husband and I (both 27) got married a few weeks ago and he obviously is still upset about it but I don’t think I was wrong so I thought I would ask here.”
“We only gave plus ones to married couples or if we knew the SO well.”
“My husband has one childhood friend that was coming from out of state to attend.”
“I’ve met him a bunch but only his girlfriend of three years a few times because of the distance.”
“I didn’t want to give him a plus one, but my husband begged since he was traveling and didn’t know anyone else at the wedding and he didn’t want him to be uncomfortable or have to travel alone.”
“I said fine just to make him happy.”
“Flash forward to the reception.”
“I see him with some girl I have never seen before.”
“I asked husband what was up and he told me that his friend and his gf broke up a few days before the wedding and since he already RSVP’d as 2 he brought a friend with him.”
“I was pissed since I made an exception for him and I didn’t want anyone random at my wedding.”
“I had one of my bridesmaids go to him and tell him he could stay but can his date please go back to the hotel this is a private event.”
“He said ok and didn’t make a fuss but he left with her and didn’t come back.”
“I though on everything was fine and had a great night.”
“My husband found out about it the next day and we got in an argument.”
“He’s mad because his friend traveled and I kick him out without talking to him.”
“I didn’t kick him out just his date.”
“Now it’s a few weeks later my husband still brings it up from time to time and his friend hasn’t been answering his texts.”
“I kind of feel bad but it was my wedding and I didn’t want any strangers there.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP found little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who all but unanimously found her to be the a**hole for kicking the date of her husband’s friend out of her wedding.
Everyone agreed that it was more than fair for the friend of the OP’s husband to bring a plus one to the wedding, and the presence of his date was not nearly the big deal the OP made it out to be, with everyone agreeing her behavior was beyond uncalled for and she owed her husband and his friend a big apology.
“Your husbands childhood friend traveled for your wedding to celebrate you, days after his long term gf and him broke up.”
“He, understandably, didn’t want to travel alone, or be at a wedding alone where he knew NO ONE.”
“You gave him a plus one, and had paid for the ‘head’ already.”
“So he brought his ALLOWED plus one.”
“Then, you decide to throw her, and by extension him, out of your wedding for NO REASON.”
“Because, unless your wedding was like 10 people, and your hate of having a +1 you didn’t know there was more important to you than your husband having his childhood friend there, I don’t understand how him having a date at a wedding where he knew nobody was so offensive to you that you couldn’t bear having her exist in the same space as you.”
“You need to offer your husband a massive apology.”
“You also need to call his friend and offer him a massive apology for being such an a**hole.”
“If this is how you’re going to act for the rest of your marriage, it’s going to be short-lived.”- AshlynM2
“You were so concerned about making the wedding perfect for yourself that you ruined it for your husband.”
“You gave him a plus one and he used it, and then you were rude and revoked it, during the reception.”
“His plus one did nothing wrong, wasn’t causing a drunken scene or anything, and you got offended because she existed?”
“Sorry bridezilla but YTA.”- Key-Bit1208
“You totally disrespected your husband, his friend from childhood, and the woman who did nothing wrong.”
“That one bridezilla moment and the fact that you still think what you did is OK says a lot about the kind of person you are.”
“And it’s not good.”
“I am not surprised he is still upset about it.”
“In fact, he may be regretting marrying you if this is any indication of the way you will be treating him and his friends for the rest of his married life.”- Reditxxxx
“I wonder if your husband doesnt see you as a different person now.”- Flat_Shame_2377
“YTA Bridezilla, and you probably won’t be married long now that your husband has seen your true colors.”- FredTrail
“So very much.
“For not inviting unmarried long -term partners in the first place.”
“I seriously don’t understand why people do that, how rude.”
“For kicking someone out of the wedding who hadn’t done a single thing wrong, and who had actually traveled and paid money to be at your wedding.”
“Being a wedding guest isn’t cheap.”
“For completely disregarding your husband and his friendship with his friend in all of this.”
“I’m curious if the friend gave you a wedding present?”
“If so the least you can do is give it back so he can get a refund.”- blueboatsky
“I bet you can quote chapter and verse about all kinds of wedding etiquette when it pleases your control freak Bridezilla soul, but you have not the first clue about hosting and hospitality.”
“Your guest was CORRECT in bringing a date because he had already RSVPd.”
“The guy just went through a breakup of a 3 year serious relationship, STILL managed to come to his buddy’s big day, and scrounged up a date to politely fulfill his duties as a guest.”
“You were unconscionably RUDE.”
“And wow, instead of focusing on your man, and letting yourself be happy on your wedding day, you acted like a spoiled toddler having a temper tantrum.”
“Etiquette is the framework for showing our GOOD MANNERS and good manners come from a kind heart and a desire to make others comfortable.”
“Polar opposite of what you did here.”
“100 Points from Slytherin.”
“Hope your husband’s next wedding is to someone with more kindness, and class.”
“He deserves it.”- Myay-4111
“What was the actual harm of this person being there at that point?”
“And he had a plus 1 and it is unlikely he knew you gave him a dispensation on your ‘special day’.”
“This comes off as power hungry and controlling.”
“You responded to perceived rudeness with the ultimate rudeness, you kicked someone out which come on, you knew her date was going to follow, so you booted your husbands friend.”
“You are a ginormous AH.”
“Yes, it might be your wedding, but it’s also your husband’s which means he also gets a say in it.”
“What it does not do is gives you an excuse to treating someone horribly.”
“Especially when they were allotted a +1.”
“What was his +1 going to do?”
“Raid the cookies?”
“In addition to that, I travelled to a wedding out of state and got treated like shit.”
“I also didn’t know anyone there and was essentially cut off from everyone.”
“Was it fun?”
“Did I want to leave the entire time?”
One can’t help but feel that the OP knew deep down telling her husband’s friend that his date couldn’t stay was not a nice thing to do.
Otherwise, she likely would have had the courage to do it herself.
Hopefully, the OP will see the error of her ways sooner rather than later, and offer her husband and his childhood friend the apology they both deserve.
Particularly if she wants her marriage to be a happy one.