Some people are very serious about how they take their coffee.
A morning pot of coffee can be a religious experience.
Some cups need to be made a certain way for maximum joy.
Other people may not approve of the way others take their coffee.
And they have no issue voicing their thoughts.
This can lead to an uncomfortable confrontation.
Redditor Internal_Band3136 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for the amount of syrup I use in front of my niece?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (25 M[ale]) sister (37), B[rother]-I[n]-L[aw] (39), and niece(9) are staying at my apartment right now since their house was flooded.”
“I try to be a good example for my niece.”
“No alcohol or smoking.”
“Have fruits every day and vegetables nearly as often.”
“What my sister doesn’t like is the amount of vanilla-flavored syrup I put in my latte.”
“I use half a tablespoon of the stuff per cup and drink one cup each morning.”
“My sister, who is a doctor, said I’m setting a bad example for this.”
“She only uses half a teaspoon of syrup and said I should do the same if I care about my niece and want her to have healthy habits when older.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Not her business, and your sister being weirdly controlling around other people’s food will give her an unhealthy relationship with it, courtesy of her mother’s modelling.” ~ maybemaybenot2023
“I think OP should add a mountain of whipped cream on top as well.”
“Just because it’s fun.” ~ vegasbywayofLA
“When my son was little, he’d say, ‘I’m so depressed,’ and then squirt the whipped cream.”
“He watched Goonies with me and picked Chunk as his favorite character (can’t blame him).”
“OP’s sister would be mortified. NTA.” ~ fluidentity
“Your sister is feeling a lack of control because she is in someone else’s home.”
“Tell her that she is the one raising her daughter.”
“Her daughter is bound to see people she loves doing many different things that differ from what mom says is ‘best.'”
“Handle that on her end.” ~ starmoishe
“I 100% expected from the title to read a story about the family sitting down to waffles and the parents giving the kid a portion-controlled amount of syrup while her uncle drowned his waffle and set off a tantrum.”
“While OP would still not be the a-hole in that situation, it would make sense why he should be more aware around the kid.”
“We’re talking about *coffee* here.”
“It’s so easy for a parent to explain: this is a grown-up drink and not for kids.”
“But also, what 9-year-old notices the difference between a half tablespoon or a half teaspoon of simple syrup in coffee?”
“The sister is making mountains out of molehills and, as you say, is far more likely to give the kid an unhealthy relationship with food than OP is.” ~ Wynfleue
“Right!? It’s her job to teach her daughter a healthy way with food, INCLUDING seeing other people not eating as healthy or making compromises.”
“I see the daughter in a college dorm room having her head blown away about what others can and actually do eat, and doing a 180 and eating exclusively junk for a while, just because she CAN.”
“And then you hope she’ll get a grip on it after a while.”
“OR she goes into college with an eating disorder and is actually miserable.” ~ JustMeLurkingAround-
“So let me get this straight, your sister is effectively saying…”
“‘Hey Sis, can I move my family into your home, and while I’m there control your behavior down the amount of syrup you put in your coffee?'”
“You know what’s even worse than too much syrup, trying to control other people’s behavior when it’s none of your business. NTA.” ~ Virtual-Squirrel-725
“NTA. Dang. I bet your sister is a real hoot at parties.”
“She’s working on trying to scare your poor niece into an E[ating] D[isorder] before she’s a teenager, isn’t she?”
“Tell your sister privately (not in front of your niece) that she can kindly keep her opinions on your diet to herself while you are graciously providing her with shelter and food.”
“If she finds it impossible to do so, she can move to a hotel.”
“Isn’t her insurance covering her lodging expenses while the house is being repaired?” ~ CrazyOldBag
“NTA, lol, your sister is crazy.”
“She’s trying to control how much syrup you put in a drink to protect the niece, who can’t even drink a latte ‘safely’ for years?”
“I also assume your niece is not remotely paying attention to the 10 milliliter difference here… lol.” ~ 9melrose
“NTA – Your sister is controlling.”
“As if your niece would even notice how much flavoring you put in your coffee and then decide to model her behavior after you.”
“Remind your sister that if she is so afraid of her daughter modeling your behavior, she is welcome to move to a hotel.” ~ jeangatech
“No smoking, no drinking alcohol, eating fruit and vegetables, taking in family in their time of need, but you’re a bad person for having a little extra vanilla syrup than ‘is healthy?'”
“Is your niece standing right there, watching you, commenting about how much you’re pouring?”
“Sorry, but your sister is out of line.”
“You can ask her to stop policing your syrup habits, which she probably won’t do.”
“Or you can sneak your desired amount of syrup in behind her back since she won’t be living there for too long.”
“If she keeps badgering you, though, ask her to stop.”
“You appreciate her concern, but you don’t need to be lectured or nagged.” ~ Confident-Ad7531
“Lol NTA.”
“It’s not your responsibility to parent that kid.”
“Plus, she’s 9.”
“She’s sentient.”
“She can understand things.”
“Your sister can use her words and talk to the kid about healthy choices, if what you’re doing in your own home with a half tablespoon of flavoring is somehow an outlandish, deviant influence.” ~ Spirited_Gas_Plume
“NTA. When you are living in her house, she can set the rules, but you shouldn’t have to change everything in your life for them.”
“You’re an adult, and if you wanna put a load of crap in your body, that’s on you.”
“Besides, why does your 9-year-old niece need to know about how you make your coffee, like, does she drink coffee?”
“I sure hope not.”
“Tell your sister to grow up.”
“She’s a doctor and yet can’t afford anything other than her family crashing on her little brother’s couch?”
“Something seems off here, and it’s not your coffee ritual.” ~ KleosTitan
“NTA, give me strength.”
“She should be grateful for a roof over their head and allow you to enjoy your coffee in peace.”
“Does your niece even notice?”
“Tell your sister to put all her energies into her house, not your coffee.” ~ GoddessfromCyprus
“NTA. Your niece presumably doesn’t drink coffee at all, being 9 years old, so I don’t see why this is an issue.”
“When I was growing up, my Nana had FIVE teaspoons of sugar in her cup of tea, and it didn’t have an influence on me.”
“I think your sister is just picking fights.” ~ mylittlemudkip
“Your sister has some balls trying to dictate what you can and cannot ingest in your own home.”
“Especially when I guarantee your niece doesn’t even register the difference between a half teaspoon and half a tablespoon. NTA.” ~ Pantherdraws
“NTA. Half a tablespoon is not much.”
“And let’s face it, if we wanna go down the route of what is good for you, then any amount of syrup is bad.”
“Without even going into whether or not coffee is good for you.”
“Your sister is living in your home, you are not flaunting the syrup to your niece, so your sister should have no say in your dietary choices.” ~ JKristiina
“NTA – you are doing a great job setting an example for your niece, especially since many wouldn’t bother.”
“I’m assuming your niece isn’t drinking coffee yet, so I don’t think she is going to copy you just yet. You are allowed to have some treats in your life.” ~ Lovely-lady-jane
“NTA, sister can set a better example of being a gracious house guest by not critiquing the host’s personal preferences.”
“Your sister can also learn to be a better parent by discussing personal choices and preferences with their child.”
“People are going to do things at different levels.”
“The child needs to learn that just because one person does something doesn’t mean they need to do it.” ~ 66NickS
“NTA. You’re not her parent.”
“This means it’s not your job to set an example for their child.”
“Moreover, though, tell your sister you’re a grown adult and that she needs to keep her opinions to herself, and she doesn’t get a say in how you live your life.”
“If she argues it with you about this, remind her that you don’t have to let her stay with you, so if she doesn’t like it, she knows where the door is.” ~ Disastrous-Nail-640
“NTA. Your sister must not go to coffee shops-she’d have a stroke herself hearing how many PUMPS of syrup a lot of people use.” ~ BubbaChanel
Your house, your rules, your coffee, OP.
Your sister has no right to control how you drink your coffee.
You are already going above and beyond.
Your sister can find the door if she is that upset.
Enjoy your caffeine.
Good luck.