Retail stores work on profit margins which is the difference between what they pay for goods and what they sell goods for. Most department stores and grocery stores have the slimmest margins.
The greatest margins are in luxury brands that few people can afford, but in retail that most people can access, the greatest margins are in jewelry and furniture.
Convenience stores have higher profit margins than discount department stores and grocery stores, but not a huge gap.
A convenience store owner turned to the “Am I The A**Hole” (AITAH) subReddit for feedback over a conflict between family and business.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However there are no official voting acronyms and no final judgment given.
Silly-Ranger-8435 asked:
“AITAH for telling my poor mother-in-law (MIL) she can’t be ‘shopping’ at our store for free?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My wife and I own a convenience store. We grew up poor and all of our family is poor, too.”
“We’ve been blessed and the store is doing well and we are seeing some good cashflow now.”
“Our families seem jealous of our thriving business and ask us for money all the time and think we’re just raking it in, which we kind of are, but we also need to reinvest most into the business, hire an accountant, pay expensive insurance, etc…”
“My MIL is poor, and likes to get things here and there from our store. When it was small things, I would let it pass, but recently, she’s been bringing a basket and literally shopping at our store and walking out without paying a dime.”
“I told my wife she needed to talk to her mother because it’s getting out of hand and she said she would.”
“Well, it keeps happening, and I got fed up and told her ‘I’m not your daughter and if she won’t tell you anything I will. You need to stop shopping at our store, things aren’t free, we have expenses too’.”
“My wife says I took it too far and that it was ‘uncalled for’, but I disagree.”
“So, AITAH?”
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was right to protect their business (NTA).
“NTA—if you gave everything to family and friends for free, your business would fail. Then you’d be right back where they are, poor. It’s incredibly selfish of your MIL to try to get everything for free.”
“Maybe give her a monthly store credit, if you’re able to afford it. Let her know that she can ‘shop for free’ up until a certain point, but that is the most you’re able to give her.”
“Of course, you’re still NTA if you didn’t do this, but I’m suggesting it because you did seem okay with her getting some things here and there for free before.” ~ JenninMiami
“NTA. You asked your wife to speak to her and she chose not to, putting you on the spot to do what she wouldn’t. Your wife shouldn’t have let it come to this.”
“Not only are you losing profit, you purchased the inventory that she is taking, costing you money.” ~ ElizaJaneVegas
“NTA. It may not have been the best choice of words, since you do want her to shop there, just not shoplift anymore. But you’re not wrong in confronting her.”
“Your wife needs to stop being spineless when it comes to mommy & family. Tell her she needs to have your back, otherwise you guys aren’t a team & if you’re not a team then why are you married?” ~ DesperateLobster69
“NTA, that’s not her stuff she’s taking, it’s YOURS. The technical name for her behavior is ‘theft’.” ~ Antique-Agent-2992
“It really isn’t even OP’s. It belongs to the business. MIL is stealing from the business.”
“An accountant should have a fit if this is being done. Business finance and personal finance aren’t the same.”
“I would guess you don’t pay yourself by pulling money from the till. I would not argue with my spouse. Have the professional explain why it’s wrong.” ~ Necessary_Internet75
“I’ve worked for a tiny bakery and did some of the books. Small things would be fine to give away (just written off as losses), but letting a family member walk out with a full basket of shopping each week is going to create a bookkeeping headache.”
“It’d be kind of different if you were handing the same things out to random people, but at least in the UK, OP would probably need to pay VAT (taxes) on MIL’s shopping.”
“It’s basically a massive hassle that would make me rather ring up everything and pay for it myself, so at least it would be billed and inventoried correctly.” ~ Particular-Yak-1984
“Your wife said she would talk to her mother and either she did and her mother ignored it or she didn’t and was letting it go.”
“When people steal—and that is what she is doing—it causes companies to raise their prices to offset the shrink loss.”
“What is your wife going to say when the business loses money and it’s due the free rides people are getting?” ~ RaptorOO7
“My uncle had a similar problem, only he never addressed the thefts. Then the tax people audited him and determined his inventory didn’t match sales records.”
“They accused HIM of taking goods from his business and assessed him a hefty tax bill because they decided all the missing inventory should be recorded as income. It resulted in a hefty tax bill, for multiple years, plus substantial fines. NTA.” ~ MistySky1999
“Your wife can go stay with her mother if she has a problem with you doing what SHE clearly couldn’t do. NTA. Wife and MIL are the AH.” ~ Heavy_Can8746
“It’s wild how fast ‘family support’ turns into ‘free unlimited shopping pass’. If MIL really can’t understand the difference between helping out and just taking advantage, someone’s gotta set the boundary.”
“Honestly, OP just did what needed to be done before things spiraled even more.” ~ brendallazk82
“NTA. You asked your wife to talk to her and make it stop. It would have been better coming from her, but since she didn’t own the situation, she can’t complain about your work in hindsight.”
“Yes, you were a bit harsh, but your frustration is totally understandable.”
“She knows what she was doing and, as an adult, she knows things cost money. What she was doing was technically stealing, so, of course, she has to stop. If nothing else because this will seriously f*ck up your books for taxes.” ~ turquoise_turtle83
“Not at all the a**hole. How are you supposed to write off that loss? Those stores are not easy to run.”
“Tell MIL that you came off a little harsh, but it was because your wife wouldn’t say anything. Besides the monetary loss, kids could get ideas when they see MIL steal from your store.”
“What she does will look just like shoplifting to anyone who sees her. They might figure this store is easy to steal from.” ~ Useless890
“Did she at least go through the checkout so you can maintain stock properly? Honestly, not letting you know what she took would annoy me more than her taking things. NTA.” ~ Maahes0
“NTA. If your wife wanted to control the verbiage, she should have had the talk. Either she didn’t have the talk, or she was ineffective. You stepped in only when your wife didn’t resolve the issue.” ~ efgrigby
“NTA. Giving her a discount is one thing. Free is another. You probably could have stated your concerns differently with some compassion.”
“But it is simply business. If she is that poor, she should have an EBT card. I assume you take them and she can buy her stuff with that.” ~ Vurrag
“NTA. You do have a mother-in-law problem because she is stealing from you. But you have a bigger problem with your wife.”
“You tried to let her tell your mother-in-law first, and she chose not to; that was a decision she made. Then she gets upset that you did it instead?”
“You can let your wife know that if it continues, you should encourage her to pay for her mother‘s groceries out of funds that don’t come out of the store. See how quickly she realizes that sh*t adds up.” ~ MithosYggdrasill1992
“Your wife couldn’t do it, so you did. She can fuss a bit about how you said it for appearances, and then she needs to reaffirm your point to her mother. And that should be the end of the discussion.”
“Unless your wife told MIL she could take what she needed/wanted. Then you need to have a nice talk about business and family with your wife or she’ll sink your store.” ~ dhbxxxx
“NTA. You’ll be closing your store’s doors if you don’t put a stop to it.”
“At one point in time, I worked for a family friend at a little corner store her dad owned. He also owned and still does, a successful tow truck business. Me and the other girl who worked there were required to pay for anything we ate or drank, which was fine.”
“But EVERY SINGLE DAY, the shop owner would roll in, with no less than 6 of his friends with him, and they’d all sit down for breakfast and lunch, order whatever they wanted, and none of them would pay a dime.”
“I was only there for a few months until ‘they couldn’t afford to keep me’. The shop was open less than a year before he sold it because he wasn’t making any money.”
“Well, no duh, you and all your friends are eating every cent of profit you could be making.” ~ External-Sympathy-47
OP said their store was successful, but it won’t be if inventory theft is allowed to continue.
Their mother-in-law was stealing, and it needed to stop.