Weddings are such a stressful time.
Well they can be, for the bride and groom.
They’re supposed to be all fun for the guests.
But when guests make an extra fuss about seating and attire, it can take a lot of the joy out of it.
Case in point…
Redditor zombiebouqets wanted to discuss their story for some feedback. So naturally they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA disinviting my fiancé’s aunt and uncle from our wedding unless they agree to honor our wedding’s color scheme?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My fiancé Jeremy and I are having a Creature Feature themed wedding.”
“In order to save money we’re having it before October, instead of around Halloween.”
“We sent out our invitations a couple weeks ago and have started to hear back from people.”
“Its seriously being a headache because every other person has some kind of gripe about our wedding.”
“No children under 15.”
“There’s no ring bearer or flower girls or junior bridesmaids- relatives in either family thinks their kid should have that honor.”
“Love my nieces, nephews, and little cousins but main reason for this is the Creature Feature aspect.”
“Lots of zombie, vampires, werewolf, etc stuff.”
“Like instead of my father walking me down the aisle to the podium, we’re going to be chased by zombified wedding party to the podium.”
“Obviously with monsters we’re going for a dark and dreary look.”
“We’ve given guests the choices of coming in costume or minimum of smart casual attire.”
“To keep with the dark and dreary aesthetic, we’ve asked our wedding party and guests to please wear one of the following colors or any combination: Black, blue, red, silver, gray, dark purple, and white accents are allowed.”
“Jeremy’s aunt called asking if we were serious about the color requirement.”
“We told her yes.”
“His aunt and uncle insist they’re already compromising enough by making their youngest kid miss out on an important family event.”
“She said they weren’t going to further make a mockery of weddings by dressing all gloomy because weddings should be a festive occasion”
“So she’ll be wearing one of her favorite pink dresses and her husband in a yellow shirt.”
“We told them we’d discuss it.”
“We did, and figured stick to our colors.”
“We called them back and told them if they feel that strongly about it, it’d probably be best if they didn’t attend.”
“Because we don’t want to force them to wear colors they don’t like, or attend a wedding they don’t vibe with.”
“If they change their minds, let us know before the RSVP date.”
“Some of Jeremy’s family and our wedding party are telling us now we should just let them wear what they want .”
“Since we’re already making it hard and unconventional by banning young kids and having things like zombie chases, Halloween games, etc.”
“I think we’re already being pretty generous and relaxed with our guests and wedding party in how they dress.”
“I want our families to have fun with us.”
“Are we being AHS?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. If they are this upset over clothing colors imagine what will set them off at the wedding.”
“This is a day for your partner; celebrate how you want.” ~ This-Is-Heath
“Right, and most people own some sort of dressy looking black clothing.”
“It isn’t hard to find a basic black dress or black slacks and a dress shirt.”
“You can probably buy them at Walmart for under $30.” ~ tinypurplepiggy
“Exactly. I was invited to and attended a wedding where on the invite if stated for the people invited to wear all black.”
“She wanted everyone except herself to be wearing black. It looked amazing.”
“The only spot of color at that wedding was a wrap one of the aunt’s had over her purse.”
“It was blue.”
“If everyone at OP’s wedding wears the colors like she would like and someone shows up in a different color, they’re gonna stand out like sore thumbs.” ~ AluminumCansAndYarn
“NTA. I got married on Halloween.”
“The wedding was Resident Evil themed.”
“Every guest was encouraged to wear a costume and, if they didn’t, they got a lab coat with and Umbrella Corp logo ironed on by me.”
“And everyone we invited (adults only) was fine with it or they didn’t bother showing up.”
“My F[ather] I[n] L[aw] did at one point say that it didn’t seem like we were taking our marriage seriously.”
“And I had to ask him how his two serious church weddings and two marriages and two divorces worked out.”
“He shut up about it after that.”
“It’s your party. Do it how you want it done.” ~ annarchy8
“Guest are welcome to not participate in your craziness.”
“Perhaps OP should tell aunt and uncle a bouncer will dump a bucket of blood on anyone who doesn’t match the color scheme.”
“And follow through on it. NTA.” ~ Dennis_Ogre
“Honestly, NTA!”
“I HATE how people make weddings about themselves and not the 2 actually tying the knot.”
“Weddings can be designed and celebrated however you want.”
“There are no rules in place to how they should be.”
“I wouldn’t want kids at mine either.”
“And if anything you’re doing her a favor as she will make a mockery of herself by not matching the theme.”
“It will be your happy day so do what will make you happy and try not to let other make you feels bad.”
“Your wedding sounds hella dope btw!”
“Let me take her invitation instead. Congrats!!” ~ nofacespace
“NTA, and all the people saying you are are fucking weird.”
“It’s a concept wedding, all you’re asking for is a dress code and no kids.”
“Something MANY weddings have nowadays.”
“Plus, the colors you gave are pretty easy to come by in formal wear, and have range.”
“You’re telling me aunt and uncle don’t own any formal black clothes???”
“Pretty much everyone I know has at least something formal in black.”
“If you were asking for your guests to only wear a specific shade of chartreuse I’d understand these votes, but as it stands?”
“Completely reasonable request.” ~ mind_your_s
“I was all set to say that people needed to stop with the mandatory color schemes for weddings but this one is actually pretty reasonable.”
“And they are not even requiring formal wear so Aunt and Uncle could just go buy a black shirt and black pants at Walmart and be fine.”
“This theme is no different than the ridiculous Disney weddings or a destination wedding that no one can afford.”
“I’m not even into zombies and I would rather go to this wedding!” ~ Miserable_Emu5191
“NTA. I’ve for 4 black dresses in various styles!”
“I don’t agree with the criticism you are getting but I do understand where it’s coming from.”
“Weddings are a fun party for some and a religious sacrament for others.”
“If you are used to the latter any theme is confusing.”
“It’s your day though, so you do you and enjoy it. Your way.”
“If your relatives are not going to enjoy themselves they can RSVP as ‘no’ and send their regrets.” ~ This_Cauliflower1986
“OP is even more low key because it seems like if the aunt and uncle don’t have dark formal.”
“They could just as easily come in dark clothes of any kind- even torn and dirty looking to fit the theme.”
“Never understood why some people get butt hurt about other people’s weddings.”
“Like if you hate your kids can’t go- send a gift and don’t attend.”
“Don’t like the location? Send a gift and wish them the best.”
“Don’t want to go? Send a gift and thanks for the invite. NTA.” ~ 750more
“NTA. Come on man, you’re telling me that asking to wear black, white, or gray (or red or silver or purple) in any combination of your choosing is too much a dress code requirement?”
“Get the f**k outta here, y’all being super disingenuous!”
“Besides, the issue here isn’t that their aunt doesn’t own anything in these extremely common and basic colors.”
“It’s that the aunt freakin’ refuses to wear these extremely common and basic colors and insists upon showing up looking like an Easter basket!” ~ TheBoozyNinja87
OP dropped a few extra deets…
“ETA: ‘Smart casual’ is a compromise we made for Jeremy’s family.”
“They didn’t like the idea of people showing up to a wedding in casual attire because it wasn’t proper.”
“I’m already compromising with my family by wearing a gown.”
“Compromises on our part have been made already.”
“If someone just doesn’t have the colors or can’t afford something new- fine, let us know and we can work something out!”
“Help get something or offer something to put on during the ceremony part.”
“If it was that kind of situation with his aunt, she wouldn’t have been disinvited.”
“It was the telling us we’re making a mockery of weddings with it that did her in.”
Well OP, it’s your day.
Y’all do y’all.
So says Reddit.
Aunt and Uncle had their day.
Enjoy yourself.